owl Page 264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wish You Were Here
Move the Pro Bowl to the Super Bowl site, they said. More players will take part, and there'll be more excitement, they said. If that's so, then why is the QB matchup Aaron Rodgers against Matt Schaub?...

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....

Super Bowl Subplot #3: A Pro Bowl Like No Other
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

NOLA Mayor Still Needs Super Bowl Tickets
He's got some good leads, though. Glengarry leads. "Some people seem to forget I come from the business environment. So I got contacts at ESPN, USAToday, you name it. So I'm going to work it out." [NOLA]...

Who Dat Think They Can Violate Our Intellectual Property Rights?
The NFL is cracking down on New Orleans merchants selling "Who Dat" paraphernalia, claiming it's a violation of league-owned trademarks. Next up: The Catholic Church and their egregious canonization policies. [WWLTV; pic]...

Super Bowl Subplot #2: Trash-Talking Art Nerds
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

New Orleans Judge Sets Important Legal Precedent With "Saintsmania" Ruling
District Court Judge Michael G. Bagneris has granted a one-week continuance in his current trial so that Court members may properly adjudicate the "Saintsmania" that "permeates the City of New Orleans." Justice: Cajun Style! [AboveTheLaw; pic via]...

Gregg Williams Pretty Much Wants The Saints To Destroy Peyton Manning
Gregg Williams, highly decorated defensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints, appeared on 104.5 The Zone's new "3 Hour Lunch" and laid out the WhoDats strategy against Manning: knock him out of the game....

Super Bowl Subplot #1: Those Manning Boys
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

NFL Scouts Detect Two Large Flaws In Terrence Cody's Game
My God. Look at that photo. That's 370 pounds of nose tackle, coming to a 3-4 near you. [SI.com]...

The Brett Favre Anti-Appreciation Society Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the Brett Favre haters who got exactly what they wanted at precisely the time they needed. You have two more wishes....

Dis Who
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

Tebow The Cat Survives Miraculous Journey, Won't Shut Up About It
A Hawkeye fan on the way back from the Orange Bowl finds a stray cat stowed away underneath his pickup truck. "We named her Tebow, because she's a crier." [Cedar Rapids Gazette]...

A Boise State Fiesta Bowl Win Makes Everyone On The Field Amorous (KOGOD Update)
Remember the last time Boise State won the Fiesta, Statue of Liberty hero Ian Johnson got down on one knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Freshman o-lineman Michael Ames also experienced the spoils of victory....

Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....

In ESPN's Defense, I'm Pretty Sure They Accept Passports As Valid I.D.
During their coverage of this afternoon's International Bowl (now involving two countries!), ESPN2 did a fly-by of some of the splendors of downtown Toronto. Naturally, they included the historic Zanzibar strip club, which I understand doubles as the American Embassy....

Sugar Bowl Open Thread: Florida. Cincinnati. Vamanos
It's the Florida Oenophiliac Coaches against the Cincinnati Fighting Irish. What say you, Todd McShay? And...let's wrap it up....