owns Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rating The New NFL Threads From Best to You Gotta Be Kidding Me
We’ve spent a lot of time here speculating on how or if respective leagues could complete their seasons. Or on the complete failure of capitalism. But it’s getting to the end of the week, so let’s try and be more cheerful....

The Sports Personalities Affected by Coronavirus
As the coronavirus continues its march, ravaging families and communities worldwide, the sports world finds itself at a crossroads, forever changed by the pandemic’s reach and left wondering how to proceed. The following is a look at some of the players, staffers, and personalities — and their famil...

You Know What's More Stupid Than Trump Saying The World Will Be Back To Normal In Three Weeks? Listening To Him
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo says “we are not flattening the curve,” and talks about his state hitting peak cases of coronavirus in two to three weeks. The Tokyo Olympics, set to begin July 24, have been canceled. Seventeen states have ordered residents to “shelter in place,” with another 10 states is...

Browns Even Suck At Cutting A Player Who Threatened To Kill Their Fans
The Cleveland Browns were unbelievably bad in their 24-19 loss to the Denver Broncos. Worse than Jets losing to Dolphins bad. Coverage sucked. Play call sucked. Clock management sucked. And not for the first time this season. Or even the second time. With 3:23 remaining on the clock, down five poin...

Cleveland Browns' Chris Smith Fined, But Driver Who Killed His Girlfriend Skips Charges
From ESPN to Fox News and ABC’s News5 Cleveland, reports that a 47-year-old woman who struck and killed the 26-year-old girlfriend of Cleveland Browns’ defensive end Chris Smith in an auto accident on Interstate 90 will not face criminal charges all ducked the question, how come? One native of a cit...

Freddie Kitchens Made An Absolute Brain-Genius Move With The Browns Down Three Possessions
You know how every so often, we’ll get a story about Bill Belichick exploiting some obscure loophole in order to give the Patriots a better opportunity in a certain scenario? What Browns head coach Freddie Kitchens did in Sunday’s 27-13 loss to New England is the opposite of that....

German Sunday League Player Knocks Referee Out Cold After Receiving Red Card
It’s not clear what this unidentified player did to earn a red card in a German amateur soccer match between FSV Münster and TV Smend, but he definitely deserved a red and even more for his reaction to the card, which was to punch the referee’s lights out:...

The Browns Turned It Over On Three Consecutive Offensive Snaps
The Cleveland Browns came into their game against New England this week with a lot of optimism. Jarvis Landry even guaranteed victory over the defending Super Bowl champs, before recanting a bit.Maybe there was a reason he walked back his prediction. The Browns dug a 17-0 hole against the Patriots t...

ESPN Cancels Bowl Game Sponsorship Deal With Company That Does Not Seem To Exist
We can all agree that there are simply too many damn bowl games, and that a huge chunk of them only exist so that sports networks can bilk a few hundred thousand dollars out of a presenting sponsor while subjecting us all to the CarsAndCarParts.com New Jersey Turnpike Bowl, or whatever. And so it is...

Victorious LAFC Coach Bob Bradley Storms Off In Response To Softball Question
LAFC beat Zlatan Ibrahimović and LA Galaxy 5–3 in Thursday night’s El Tráfico, beating their rivals for the first time ever, bouncing them from the MLS playoffs, and advancing to the club’s first Western Conference final. LAFC star Carlos Vela figured prominently, scoring a pair of first-half goals ...

Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....
![MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yvdhgaxqhu32sn4bgymi.jpg)
MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]
Major League umpire and apparent MAGA fiend Rob Drake posted and deleted a tweet late Tuesday indicating that he would be purchasing an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle on Wednesday in order to wage “CIVAL WAR” should Congress impeach peabrain president Donald Trump. Going to go out on a limb here and ass...

Odell Beckham Jr. Is Pissed About A Big Fine For A Dumb Uniform Violation
Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr. showed off his gams during Cleveland’s Week 6 loss to the Seattle Seahawks back in Week 6, wearing his uniform pants a couple inches above the knee. Why should you give a rip whether a football man wears his pants above or below the knee, you ask, like a real grump?...

Mike Leach, Convinced Of His Own Cleverness, Tells Unbearably Long Joke About Lip Reading
Asked Monday evening whether he’s nervous for next week’s matchup against No. 11 Oregon, where four of his former assistants now work, Mike Leach used the opportunity to take a swipe at football coaches so paranoid about their plays being found out that they cover their mouths while talking on the s...

Heat Suspend Dion Waiters For Having A Tantrum On The Bench During Preseason
As the NBA preseason comes to a close and teams work to finalize what their regular season rosters will look like, it would appear that one player has decided to make their team’s rotation choices a little bit easier: Dion Waiters. The man who’s famous for scoring a game-winning buzzer-beater agains...

Will Muschamp Went Ballistic On "Gutless" Officials After Crucial Missed Penalty
South Carolina dropped a tough one against Florida yesterday, giving up three touchdowns to the Gators in the fourth quarter to lose 38-27. Their bid for a second straight top-ten upset unraveled in frustrating fashion, as officials seemed to miss clear penalties on two of the biggest plays of the g...

Here's A Relay Race Handoff Gone Horribly Wrong
Here’s the rare bungling at this year’s IAAF World Championships in Doha that was not the fault of the event’s corrupt, rapacious organizers. While the Jamaican team sped to victory in last weekend’s women’s 4x100 relay final, the final two runners on the Chinese team seemed to forget how their even...

Myles Garrett Says Some Weak Sucker Asked Him For A Photo Then Punched Him
Who would do something like this to Myles Garrett? It’s a deeply shitty thing to sucker-punch someone, and it’s especially futile in this case, since Garrett is a 6-foot-4, 272-pound defensive end for the Cleveland Browns. It would take a grizzly bear to damage him!...

Odell Beckham Jr. Is Back To Making Incredible Catches Again
It had been a while since Odell Beckham Jr. had made a highlight reel for something other than getting choked out on the field, or giving up a bad fumble on a punt return. But against the Seahawks on Sunday he gave the ol’ make-an-incredible-catch approach a try....

Dabo Swinney, Whose Team Is Headed For A Blowout Win Anyway, Yells At Kicker For Missing Field Goal
No. 2 Clemson has been manhandling Florida State all game Saturday evening, moving the ball seamlessly under Trevor Lawrence’s stewardship and stopping FSU’s run entirely. None of this was enough to tide over head coach and generally saturnine jerk Dabo Swinney, who decided that he absolutely needed...