owns Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tennis Player Takes Grunting And Yelling To Extreme; Colleagues Plead With Him To "Shut Up"<em></em>
Typically, tennis players grunt in order to hit a little harder and mess with the opponent’s perception of the ball. Maxime Cressy, meanwhile, seems to grunt in tribute to tennis great Waluigi. The world No. 335 can be heard moaning almost every time he strikes the ball—sometimes both before and dur...
These Damn Memphis Grizzlies Suffer Another Exquisitely Painful Loss
Things are getting mighty sad in Memphis. Franchise cornerstones Mike Conley and Marc Gasol are on the trading block. Their once-promising start to the season has spiraled nightmarishly into full-blown, total hell. Monday night they blew a 25-point lead at home and suffered through an agonizing last...
Pierre, Please Calm Down
Olympic hockey gold medalist Kendall Coyne is one of the analysts for NBC’s broadcast of Lightning-Penguins tonight, which is cool! She’s still riding high after a strong showing in last Friday’s all-star game skills competition, and her credentials as a hockey knower are unimpeachable....
Here Is A Delightful Anecdote From Cameron Jordan About The Browns Being Incompetent
Now, everyone knows that former Cal defensive lineman Cameron Jordan was selected with the 24th overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. What the Tom Heckert/Pat Shurmur–era Browns presupposed at the time was....maybe he wasn’t?...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
Spurs Win At The Buzzer, Get Crapped On By Gregg Popovich
The 11-42 Phoenix Suns are a putrid basketball team, and their purpose in the NBA ecosystem is to roll over every night and hand out career-best performances to opposing players who aren’t actually all that good. They are so bad, in fact, that just beating them by two points is grounds to get you a...
Curt Schilling Goes On Radio, Melts Down As He Defends Liking And Sharing Memes
In his sixth go-round, former baseball pitcher Curt Schilling received 60.9 percent in the Hall of Fame vote. He’s on pace to get in within his 10 years of eligibility. (Though this blog argues for his induction, I don’t personally care if he does and hope he doesn’t. Why? Because fuck him, that’s w...
Derek Carr Seeks Dana White's Help In Challenging Max Kellerman To An "Octagon Fight"
Let us now embark on a tortuous NFL offseason journey that includes all of our favorite dummies and involves a starting quarterback trying to challenge two-thirds of First Take to an “octagon fight.”...
The Browns' Agonizing Rebuild Included Accidentally Projecting A Bunch Of Porn On The Wall<em></em>
ESPN’s Seth Wickersham has a new story out detailing the internal dysfunction that has plagued the Cleveland Browns throughout Jimmy Haslam’s ownership of the team. There’s all sorts of good reporting in here that explains what kind of owner Haslam is and how the Browns have been a franchise at war ...
Dipshit Philly Columnist: I Know Roy Halladay's Desires Better Than His Wife And Family
Brandy Halladay, the widow of Hall of Fame pitcher Roy Halladay, announced Wednesday her family’s decision to have Roy’s bust in Cooperstown feature a blank cap, representing neither the Toronto Blue Jays nor the Philadelphia Phillies. The Halladays figure this way Roy can represent “something to a...
Two Dumb Mikes
Despite spending most of the NFC Championship game on the sidelines because he was playing poorly, Rams running back Todd Gurley was in a good mood after the game. So good that he was able to poke some fun at how much his team benefited from poor officiating by posting this funny and clearly fake im...
Sensitive Pee Baby Yadier Molina Didn't Like Kris Bryant Calling St. Louis "Boring"
The Chicago Cubs held their annual fan convention over the weekend, and one of the festivities was former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster hosting a mock late night show with current Cubs players as his guests. This was a chance for players to “cut loose” and “show their real personalities,” and that led...
MMQB senior editor Gary Gramling delivers the truly batshit take that Andy Reid—who lost four NFC championship games to mostly inferior teams in Philadelphia and then authored two of the worst meltdowns in NFL playoff history in Kansas City—is actually good in the playoffs. Specifically, “‘Andy Reid...
Report: Nick Saban Had No Clue His Assistant Left For A New Job
Nick Saban treats nearly everyone in his life with maximum contempt at all times. His own fans, the media, the college football playoff scheduling committee—everyone is a target for the Alabama head coach when he’s in a pissy mood, which is about 99 percent of the time. Saban rules by fear, and that...
Charles Barkley Calls The 76ers "The Stupidest Organization In The History Of Sports" For Allowing An Injured Joel Embiid To Play Against The Pacers
Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid was listed as questionable for tonight’s game against the Pacers due to lingering tightness in his back. Despite signs before the game that he was not feeling 100 percent, he played anyways, and the initial returns weren’t great. Embiid started the game 0-for-3 ...
Master Shit-Talker Joel Embiid Rubs Salt In The Timberwolves' Fresh Wounds
The 76ers beat the absolute hell out of the Minnesota Timberwolves Tuesday night, by the score of 149–107. This was supposed to be the heated and fiercely contested first meeting between Jimmy Butler and his former Timberwolves teammates, but instead it was a savage massacre. Butler was only needed ...
I Am Very Excited About The Freddie Kitchens Era
Freddie Kitchens beat out a host of strong candidates for the Browns’ head coaching job, including Joey Bathrooms, Bobby Closets, and, of course, Gregg Williams. ...
Dumb Little Pissbaby Trevor Bauer Got In Trouble And It's Going To Make Him So Mad He Can't Tweet About This Blog<em></em>
Less than three hours after tweeting “I’ve done nothing wrong,” Trevor Bauer sort of admitted it was wrong of him to harass a 21-year-old woman on Twitter for days and days....
Gregg Williams Is Now Free To Talk To All Of Those NFL Teams Who Wanted Him As A Head Coach<em></em>
The Browns decided today that offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens will be the team’s next head coach. He will be tasked with leading the Browns into what appears to be a promising future, and he will not be joined on that journey by defensive coordinator Gregg Williams....
Karl-Anthony Towns Is Sneakily Becoming An Adept Passer
Karl-Anthony Towns has gone on a tear in the new year, averaging 28.3 points on 62 percent true shooting and 15.0 boards through three games. A more surprising and slightly longer-running trend, meanwhile, is his average of 4.6 assists over his last 10 games. As a seven-footer with range out to thre...