p Page 6471 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Can't Pick Your Teamates But...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Carmelo Anthony Hits Game-Winning Three, All Hell Breaks Loose
Chaos in Dallas last night as Melo hit a game winner, Mark Cuban passed on some Mother's Day greetings, and Josh Howard channeled his inner Hulk....

Yao Breaks His Foot, Done for the Year
The Houston Rockets announced yesterday evening that Yao Ming will be out for the rest of the playoffs with a hairline fracture in his left foot. Adjust your bets accordingly....

Rusty Kuntz Is Milking A Cow
Yes, that's one of the most unintentionally disturbing sentences you'll ever see written. Great photo-op, though, for the upstart Royals. But it happened....

Maybe This Young Lady Is Alex Rodriguez's Iris Gaines
The Sports Hernia suggested that this woman who excitedly bounced in the stands after A-Rod's welcome back bomb is perhaps his Baltimore Road Beef. But she could also be his redemption angel. [SportsHernia]...

Meet Freddie Mitchell's Online Bodyguard: Alfred Luckerbauer
Any news about Freddie Mitchell at this point is sad and strange, so it's not surprising that the people who staunchly support him would be people like this man: Alfred Luckerbauer, proprietor of this site....

CBS Golf Analyst David Feherty Has Predictably Enraged People With His Fantastical Column About Shooting Nancy Pelosi
Feherty's column appeared in "D Magazine" and has already been eviscerated by the media mob. Is he a loser?[HuffPo]...

The Day The Tigers Gave Mickey Mantle A Gold Watch Home Run
Of all the allegations levied in Selena Roberts' A-Rod book, the "pitch-tipping" ones seem to really be aggravating baseball's outspoken virgin snow committee. Here's a pitch-tipping story that won't turn your stomach....

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Pistons' Coach Chuck Daly Dies
Pancreatic cancer. He was 78. [Freep]...

Alex Rodriguez Shuts Everyone Up In His Own Special Way
It's easy to get hyperbolic about Alex Rodriguez's three-run home run last night, but it's also tough to ignore the significance. Redemption began with the the first at-bat. It only took one pitch....

Orlando Is Trying To Ruin Everything
The Magic trounced the Celtics 117-96. Dwight Howard's shoulders had 17 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. Magic lead Celtics 2-1.[ESPN]...

A Very Special Guest Editor Goodbye
Alright, time to shut this thing down....

Feuding Reporters Briefly Enliven Terrible Cavs-Hawks Series
NBA playoffs-related journalist slap-fight!...

The One With Rick Pitino, Karen Sypher And The Bizarre Love Triangle Rumors
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....

John Tesh Offers You $20K To Rap-Dribble-And Dance Your Way To Total Humiliation
And you'd also like the chance for your equally inept rhyming abilities to earn you exciting cash and prizes? Yeah, we can hook you up with that. Please wear a helmet before viewing to ensure the mess from your brain's imminent, messy explosion doesn't stain the wallpaper. And we'll even get you sta...