p Page 6531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Would You Debase Yourself To Get Duke-UNC Tickets?
Yes, it's Duke-North Carolina day again—have you heard? It's the greatest rivalry in sports!—and that means it's time for more tales of sad college students and their miserable shame-filled lives....

Drunk Dad Lets 8-Year-Old Son Drive; Hilarity Ensues
Two Major League Soccer coaches, an eight-year-old driving a van, an Albertson's parking lot, a bottle of Canadian whiskey ... that's a recipe for adventure right there....

Um, Wasn't Roy Williams Traded To The Cowboys?
Behold, the Detroit Lions 2009 Team Calendar. I hear that October features Matt Millen. [The World Of Isaac]...

Margarito and Trainer Banned For a Year, Questions Remain
Antonio Margarito won't be fighting in the United States for at least a year thanks to a unanimous ruling by the California State Athletic Commission yesterday afternoon....

LeBron James Stunned To Learn He's Just Like Other People
The most bizarre thing happened in the Pacers-Cavs game last night—all-world superduper star LeBron James was not treated like the special little snowflake that he is, but like a real NBA player....

Brett Favre Plans To Exit This Mortal Coil
Ed Werder says Favre's told his agent to inform the Jets that he plans to retire. Again. Rachel Nichols is being dispatched to Hattiesburg, Mississippi immediately. [ESPN]...

The Breakfast Of World F#@*ing Champions
• What's this green stuff in my cereal?: Why isn't there a Philadelphia Phillies Wheaties Box? Because it's not a complete breakfast without Whiz. [Home Run Derby]...

Does Roberto Alomar Have AIDS? Girlfriend's Lawsuit Says Yes
Weird story out of Brooklyn, as Ilya Dall, the ex-girlfriend of Roberto Alomar, is suing him for $15 million for having sex with her while knowing that he might have AIDS....

Would It Have Hurt Her To Lez It Up Just A Little?
Former Central Michigan player Brooke Heike is suing the school because, she says, she lost her scholarship for not being a lesbian. Just another example of an athlete not being able to follow simple instructions....

Screening Fail On ESPN2 Interactive Tuesday
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....

Jose Canseco Says He Will Save Baseball
Canseco proposes a meeting with Bud Selig and Donald Fehr aimed at fixing the game's drug problem. "I think I have the ear of the nation now." [Yahoo Sports]...

Well, This Would Have Been Kind Of Fun
An email came into Deaspin HQ in the wee hours of the evening last night, promising the elusive up-close-and-personal access with some of the SI Swimsuit hussies in celebration of the new issue....

Dick Vitale: It's The End Of The World As We Know It
If you feel that the world of sports is falling apart, you're not alone. Dick Vitale feels your pain. Of course, your pain may be in large part to Dick Vitale, but let's move on....

Finally, Enough People Are Injured For Mo Williams To Make The All-Star Team
Chris Bosh is out — Mo Williams is in. Cleveland can now sleep at night. [TSN]...

A-Rod's Self-Centered, Misguided Prickishness Is Astounding
This "exclusive" photo was featured in today's New York Daily News on page 2 above the Mike Lupica column. Unfortunately, you can no longer find it online because A-Rod's people complained about it....

Three Random Dudes Agree To Play H-O-R-S-E
Kevin Durant, O.J. Mayo, and Joe Johnson will be the three competitors in the NBA H-O-R-S-E contest on Saturday. Try to contain yourself. [USA Today]...

Is The Delightful Dana Jacobson Era Almost Over At ESPN?
ESPN's been public about its plans to trim down staff during the wintry economic climate and one of the first higher profile casualties might be everyone's favorite Belvedere guzzler, Dana Jacobson....

Pittsburgh Mayor To Snoop Dogg: What's My Name?
• Mayor Doggy-Doggenstahl?: Snoop joins the Steeler Nation for one night. No, it wasn't awkward at all, why do you ask? [96.1 Kiss]...

Darren Rovell Needs Your Help Captioning This Picture With Bar Refaeli
He specifically requested that Deadspin commenters participate. Please be on your usual best behavior when offering up your witty commentary. [CNBC]...

Lane Kiffin Wears Out His Welcome With Paul Finebaum
Lane Kiffin has only been on the job about three months, but columnist Paul Finebaum has seen enough. He thinks Tennessee should cut its losses and fire Kiffin immediately, before he destroys America....