pee Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gunnar Bentz Is Back In The U.S. And Says Ryan Lochte Is Full Of Shit<em></em>
U.S. swimmer Gunnar Bentz, who along with Jack Conger was taken off his flight home from the Olympics and forced to answer questions about the alleged robbery that victimized them, now says the holdup story was made up by Ryan Lochte—whose vandalism allegedly got them into trouble in the first place...
Épée Is For Losers<em></em>
Fencing is a great sport. It’s pseudo-techno-sword-fighting! What more could you want? I’ll tell you: to get rid of épée, the stupid version of the sport....
Let Nick Kyrgios Go Pee, Man
Nick Kyrgios’s Rogers Cup doubles match was delayed by rain yesterday, and Kyrgios figured the stoppage was the ideal time for him to take a bathroom break. Seems logical, right?...
They Put Doors On Bathrooms For A Reason, You Know
Fox Sports cameras afforded Rays infielder Steve Pearce no privacy during Tampa Bay’s typical loss tonight to the A’s. In Pearce’s defense, Rays players have struggled with that bathroom door in the past....
Pablo Cuevas Protested His Wimbledon Match Because He Wasn't Allowed To Pee
That’s Pablo Cuevas on the left there. He got mad and staged a protest at Wimbledon because the umpire wouldn’t let him take a pee....
These Athletes Busted For Speeding Were Driving Slower Than Aroldis Chapman's Average Pitch Velocity Last Night
Yankees flamethrower Aroldis Chapman averaged 101.9 mph on his eleven pitches last night against the Twins—and that’s only because one of them was a changeup. How fast is 101.9 mph? Faster than cops clocked the following athletes when they were busted for speeding:...
On Safe Spaces: A Message For College Graduates
Oh God, it’s graduation season. Can’t we pause this somehow? I just got done adjusting to the LAST graduating class entering the workforce and ruining everything. Can’t we put a five-year moratorium on graduations so that the rest of the world can take a breather? You’re all exhausting and terrible,...
Why Can't Golf Always Be Like This?
I’m not one of those snot-nosed shits who will say stuff like, “Golf? Bleehhhhhh. Golf is so boooooring!” while doing a sick ollie. I like watching golf! It’s a perfectly pleasant way to pass a Sunday. Having said that, I was riveted by the video above, and now wish golf was always played like this....
Peeps Are The Worst Seasonal Candy
Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, East...
DeAngelo Williams Heckles Jordan Cameron While He Pees
So that’s a weird headline. It only exists because DeAngelo Williams and Jordan Cameron are part of this year’s American Football Without Barriers camp in Egypt, and also because it’s hard to hold a pee on a long bus trip....
What Is That Thing On Stan Kroenke's Head?
Rams owner Stan Kroenke has been in the news lately for his part in a disgraceful shitbag scheme that involves him moving his team from St. Louis to Los Angeles. This makes it a good time to ask a question we’ve long been meaning to ask: What the fuck is that on his head?...
A Bengals Fan Peeing On Someone, Drunk Teens, And More From Bengals—Steelers Arrest Report
Yesterday’s Bengals-Steelers game was an insane punching contest on the field, with a series of high-profile cheap shots and blows to the head down the stretch. Turns out the violence extended to the stands, and there were some doozies. The Cincinnati Enquirer has a rundown of six arrests that happe...
Don't Let Cat Puke And Dog Piss Ruin Your Life
On this episode of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast, Deadspin’s own Diana Moskovitz joined me to talk all about pet messes. Diana is a noted lover of cats, you see. So in her honor, and to draw on her vast knowledge of the fine and fancy messes that cats can make, we devoted the first segment...
Youth Football League Cancels Season Due To Violent Threats Against Officials
A youth football league in Mt. Pleasant, Penn., has cancelled its season in the wake of continued violent threats against league officials. The decision to cancel the season was made yesterday, after someone left a box full of ammunition shells with the names of league officers written on them at a ...
So We Got Suspended From Twitter
In case you missed it, Twitter suspended the @Deadspin account last night in what was, inarguably, THE WORST REPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. Why were we suspended? What shadowy forces at BIG TWEET were conspiring against us? And why are we stupid enough to put the fate of our tr...
Little Football Players Abandon Game To Dance Like Champions
There’s an argument to be made that the more people learn about the inherent dangers of football, the less parents will be inclined to let their children participate in the game, thus leading to the eventual death of youth football. Thankfully, the Milford Mighty Mites have developed a plan to save ...
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....
Tell Us About A Time You Pissed Yourself
You may have a story about that one time you peed all over yourself. If you don’t, you likely have a story about that one time your buddy peed all over himself. We want to hear those stories. ...
Q&A: Speedy Ortiz's Sadie Dupuis On The Band's New Anti-Harassment Concert Hotline
Speedy Ortiz are a noisy, lurching, acerbic, ’90s-channeling rock band from Northampton, Mass., whose loudest release of 2015 is liable to be a phone number. On Labor Day, the quartet took to Facebook to announce the creation of “(574) 404-SAFE, our help hotline you can text if you are being harasse...
And Now, Our Favorite <i>Key & Peele</i> Sketches
For nearly four years, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have been among the best at dishing out incisive racial comedy to a generation that sorely needed it. Whether making lighthearted jabs at pop-culture trends or tackling serious political issues, their sketches were at their best when they we...