pee Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...
"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...
Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...
Never Mind The Man Who Appears To Be Urinating Next To The Fairway
This weekend's Hassan II tournament on the Euro PGA tour wound up today in Morocco with Richie Ramsay taking home the trophy—but not before his tee shot on 17 appeared to come very close to a man, possibly a TV crew member, who looks to be taking a piss in the woods along the fairway....
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
J.K. Simmons Uses Oscar Win To Promote Calling Your Parents
As expected, J.K. Simmons took home the Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance in Whiplash. Simmons's acceptance speech was simple and yet memorable, simply because he told a worldwide audience to call—"Don't text, don't email, call"—a parent, if they have any living ones remaining. ...
A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...
Report: NHL Suspended Referee For Meeting In A Bar With Hockey Blogger
NHL referee Tim Peel met with his fiercest critic Thursday night in New York City: Yahoo Sports NHL blog Puck Daddy's editor-in-chief Greg Wyshynski. Wyshynski feels that Peel is the one of (if not the) worst referees in the NHL, and has written a series of articles on calls he believes Peel blew wi...
Key & Peele Will Make You Laugh With More Fake Football Names
This is the third time they've done this sketch, and it is somehow not yet completely tiresome. This latest edition is aided by the presence of a few guest stars....
I'm A Grown Man Who Wet The Bed. What Do I Do Now?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Future Song "Peacoat" Is About Fashion And Peeing On A Girl
Atlanta rapper Future and beloved veteran producer Zaytoven just put out a great new mixtape called Beast Mode. It includes a song called "Peacoat," which is about both high fashion and watersports, because hip-hop wordplay is alive and well! ...
Key And Peele's Parody Of Football Pregame Shows Is Pitch Perfect
Key and Peele are always good when they turn their attention toward sports, and this latest bit, in which they play bloated ex-NFL players who are now pundits, is no exception....
How To Give A Ball-Bursting Football Speech
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Marco Reus Fined $670,000 For Driving Without A License
German paper Bild reports (paywall) that Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has been fined €540,000 after police discovered he had been driving without a license for the past three years. Apparently Reus received five speeding tickets during that time, but somehow police never figured out that he a...
Alex Rodriguez Peed On My Floor, Says Wife Of A-Rod's Cousin
We can't be much clearer than that headline. Carmen Sucart, wife of A-Rod's cousin Yuri, says a few years back, Rodriguez once came to the Sucarts' house (that A-Rod gave to them) and threatened them to keep their mouths shut about his performance-enhancing drug use. Then, he peed on the floor as a ...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Went A Little Nuts During His Pregame Pep Talk
Before beating the Buffalo Bills 23-17 yesterday, Houston Texans quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick gathered his team let them know that he really, really wanted to beat his old squad. Here is a rough transcription of his speech:...
Goalkeeper Threatens To Sue Fans Who Peed In His Water Bottle
Alright, soccer hooligans. You guys win. The title of craziest fans is officially yours, because a few Swiss supporters apparently managed to commandeer an opposing goal keeper's water bottle, urinate in it, and then watch as he started drinking it....
Yasiel Puig Scores From Second On Fielder's Choice
Yasiel Puig scored from second on a potential around-the-horn double play last night with his ridiculous speed and an acrobatic slide into home plate. Hanley Ramirez hits a ball sharply to third and Luis Valbuena fires to second, as Puig bolts for third. As the ball makes its way around to first, ...
Tour De France Rider Executes Perfect On-The-Bike Pee Break
This is a thing that distance bike riders do all the time, but rarely are we lucky enough to catch the magic that is the mid-race piss on camera. ...
There's Nothing Awkward About A Bunch Of Athletes Showering Together
The always-enjoyable David Fleming has a story about communal showers in this week's ESPN The Magazine. It's nominally about the Michael Sam controversy, and asserts that no one cares if a gay man is looking at penises in the locker room—because everyone is looking at penises in the locker room....