pee Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cops Say Sheldon Richardson Raced Bentley 143 MPH, Refused To Pull Over
New York Jets defensive end Sheldon Richardson is facing charges of resisting arrest along with “numerous traffic violations” after refusing to pull over for a traffic stop near St. Louis earlier this month, a local prosecutor announced today. But what really stands out are the speeds that police sa...
Pedro Martínez Talks Dominican Pride In Stirring Hall Of Fame Speech
Pedro Martínez played up his heritage and spoke directly to his fellow Dominicans today at his Hall of Fame induction, dedicating the honor to his home country and declaring the award a “sign of hope, faith, determination, strength, courage, and dignity.”...
The Cat Peed In My Suitcase, Of Course
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
José Mourinho Burns Premier League Rivals In Funny Award Speech
Nobody does smug satisfaction better than this guy. Even if this was obviously written by someone else, it’s that textbook José Mourinho delivery that makes it all worthwhile....
Please Do Not Interrupt The Indianapolis Motor Speedway Chairman
IMS chairman Mari Hulman George has been ordering Indy 500 drivers to “start your engines” for longer than most of us have been alive. Today, another woman tried to butt in on her command, Kanye-style. Mari Hulman George wasn’t having any of it, and damn near backhanded the young lady....
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...
Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...
"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...
Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...
Never Mind The Man Who Appears To Be Urinating Next To The Fairway
This weekend's Hassan II tournament on the Euro PGA tour wound up today in Morocco with Richie Ramsay taking home the trophy—but not before his tee shot on 17 appeared to come very close to a man, possibly a TV crew member, who looks to be taking a piss in the woods along the fairway....
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
J.K. Simmons Uses Oscar Win To Promote Calling Your Parents
As expected, J.K. Simmons took home the Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance in Whiplash. Simmons's acceptance speech was simple and yet memorable, simply because he told a worldwide audience to call—"Don't text, don't email, call"—a parent, if they have any living ones remaining. ...
A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...
Report: NHL Suspended Referee For Meeting In A Bar With Hockey Blogger
NHL referee Tim Peel met with his fiercest critic Thursday night in New York City: Yahoo Sports NHL blog Puck Daddy's editor-in-chief Greg Wyshynski. Wyshynski feels that Peel is the one of (if not the) worst referees in the NHL, and has written a series of articles on calls he believes Peel blew wi...
Key & Peele Will Make You Laugh With More Fake Football Names
This is the third time they've done this sketch, and it is somehow not yet completely tiresome. This latest edition is aided by the presence of a few guest stars....
I'm A Grown Man Who Wet The Bed. What Do I Do Now?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Future Song "Peacoat" Is About Fashion And Peeing On A Girl
Atlanta rapper Future and beloved veteran producer Zaytoven just put out a great new mixtape called Beast Mode. It includes a song called "Peacoat," which is about both high fashion and watersports, because hip-hop wordplay is alive and well! ...
Key And Peele's Parody Of Football Pregame Shows Is Pitch Perfect
Key and Peele are always good when they turn their attention toward sports, and this latest bit, in which they play bloated ex-NFL players who are now pundits, is no exception....
How To Give A Ball-Bursting Football Speech
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Marco Reus Fined $670,000 For Driving Without A License
German paper Bild reports (paywall) that Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has been fined €540,000 after police discovered he had been driving without a license for the past three years. Apparently Reus received five speeding tickets during that time, but somehow police never figured out that he a...