pelican Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Savor The Mental Image Of Kevin Durant Hiding From An Enraged Boogie
Warriors director of team operations Eric Housen has a big job, behind the scenes, keeping Golden State’s basketball operation running smoothly. Lots of good stuff about Housen’s role in this New York Times story, read it for yourself, yes, yes, BRING ME THE STORY OF KEVIN DURANT FLEEING DEMARCUS CO...
Great Googly Moogly, The Nuggets Can Sure Fill It Up
Entering last night’s game the Denver Nuggets ranked a disappointing 14th in offensive rating on the season. They finished last season fifth in offense, at 110 points per 100 possessions; from December 15 onward—the day they moved Nikola Jokic into the starting lineup as a center—that number was 113...
Boogie Cousins And The Pelicans Might Be Good, Definitely Are Great
DeMarcus Cousins is seven feet tall. He weighs, conservatively, 275 pounds. Here he is, doing pretty much all of the basketball stuff, in a single glorious ramshackle possession:...
The Pelicans Are Already So Fucked They Have To Sign Josh Smith
Josh Smith, the guy who even three years ago was a withered hand choking to death any offense’s hopes of spacing and scoring, was last (un)seen touring with Maccabi Haifa this NBA preseason, following a stint with the Sichuan Blue Whales in China. He was reportedly looking for an NBA comeback, and i...
The Pelicans Are Shuffling The Saddest Deck In The Universe
You would not think a person could muster up much of a feeling about Jordan Crawford being cut by an NBA basketball team in 2017, and yet, here we are. ...
Big Shocker: The Pelicans Will Enter The NBA Season Hobbled By Injuries
Raise your hand if you’ve heard this one before: an important Pelicans player has suffered a major injury, and the Pelicans are, as a result, screwed....
Here Is Another Incredibly Sad Attempt At Arena Financing Grift
The New Orleans Pelicans will launch a developmental-league team before the start of the 2018-19 season, but first, they have to decide where it’ll go. Five cities were initially vying for the right to join the NBA’s minor league (which recently rebranded to serve as an advertisement for a sports dr...
DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....
Enjoy This Cousins-To-Davis Alley-Oop, Because The Pelicans Probably Won't Make The Playoffs
The Pelicans may have traded for the best player at the trade deadline, but they remain an outside shot to make the playoffs. That said, both DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis have been, statistically speaking, “pretty good” since the trade....
DeMarcus Cousins To Rude Heckler: "Suck A Dick, Bitch"
DeMarcus Cousins’s tenure with the Pelicans hasn’t started off so well, as the birds have struggled against a tough schedule despite solid play from Boogie. Last night, they beat the Lakers in L.A., and a pair of hecklers parked their asses courtside, laid into Boogie, and got video of themselves do...
The Pelicans Are Playing With House Money
The DeMarcus Cousins era did not get off to the best start in New Orleans last night, as the Pelicans were blown out by the Rockets 129-99. No need to panic in New Orleans, though, because the Pelicans still have plenty of time to figure out how Anthony Davis and Cousins can fit together, and if eve...
Who Else Could Have Made A Play For DeMarcus Cousins?
As you surely know by now, last night the Sacramento Kings traded DeMarcus Cousins (and Omri Casspi) to the New Orleans Pelicans for rookie Buddy Hield, veterans Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, a protected 2017 first-round draft choice, and a 2017 second-round pick. Now that we know what type of...
DeMarcus Cousins And His Manager Don't Know Where To Go
From DeMarcus Cousins’s manager, Andrew Rogers, after tonight’s All-Star Game and amid a flurry of trade rumors:...
Anthony Davis Teases Nut-Grabbing Buddy Hield
Pelicans rookie Buddy Hield was ejected from yesterday’s game against the Kings for whacking DeMarcus Cousins right in the yams. If you were wondering whether Hield’s teammates found the situation to be as amusing as you did, allow Anthony Davis’s Snapchat to clear a few things up for you:...
Buddy Hield Ejected For Brutal Nutshot On DeMarcus Cousins
NOOO. Buddy, you can’t do that. It’ll earn you an ejection every time, and shared pain among many, many men....
Oh, God, The King Cake Baby Is Out In The Wild Again Today
New Orleans’s favorite nightmare demon infant is out roaming the streets once again—that’s right, the King Cake Baby is at the city’s annual King Cake Fest today....
Anthony Davis Explains The Difference Between His Team And Good Teams
The New Orleans Pelicans started the season 0-8 despite having one of the very best basketball players in the world, Anthony Davis, on the roster. They improved a bit with the return of point guard Jrue Holiday, but they lost to a dreadful Mavericks team on Sunday and are now 6-12 on the season. Dav...
The Pelicans Are A Damn Disgrace
The New Orleans Pelicans are 0-8. In a vacuum, there’s nothing particularly alarming about a bad basketball team starting the season with eight consecutive losses, but the Pelicans have failed in a way that shouldn’t really be possible in today’s NBA....
Anthony Davis Will Show No Mercy
The Pelicans were supposed to be last year’s surprise Western Conference playoff debutante, but instead, injuries and incompetence stripped them of their chance and they pooped out an utterly forgettable 30-win season. Worst of all, Anthony Davis stagnated, got shut down in March with an injury, and...