penn-state Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who is The Fiend Who Stole JoePa's Glasses?
APB, State College, Pa., Police Department: All units be on the lookout for anyone wearing pair of thick, bronze glasses. Suspect may also be wearing a USC sweatshirt....
Joe Paterno Continues To Age In Reverse
JoePa gets three-year contract extension from Penn State. Grim Reaper throws down scythe in disgust; Nittany Lion pours himself another cocktail. [NBCSports]...
USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...
OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...
When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....
What Is There To Do In State College, Pennsylvania?
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up at an unholy hour to drive to Penn State University for the foot-ball contest between the nation's two premiere land grant colleges. (Look it up.) It will be my first trip ever to Happy Valley and Beaver Stadium and part of my journey will be to figure out why there ...
College Football Preview: John Parker Wilson's Cell Phone Belongs to the Cajuns
Alabama's John Parker Wilson is the latest SEC player attempting to overcome the LSU fans snagging his cell phone number and listing it everywhere on the internets. Confounding Cajuns. You'll recall that earlier this season Knowshon Moreno and A.J. Green were the victims. They joined Tim Tebow from...
Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
College Football Preview: Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel Duel for Rights to All The Oil in Texas (And the Heisman)
Back when I wrote that I couldn’t wait to watch the BYU-TCU game, I meant it. Completely. But what I forgot was that I’d be on the road in a hotel room. I don’t know why it is but hotels have the most erratic cable channel selections known to man. If you’re anything like me you’ve found yourself ly...
Brent Musburger Offers Some Troubling News About Joe Paterno
Yesterday, ABC sportscaster Brent Musburger popped by the Dan Patrick show to talk about all things college football and one of the topics that came up was the remarkable success of Penn State this season under 82-year-old head coach Joe Paterno. But then the conversation turned a little grim. Musbu...
Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...
College Football Preview: Texas and Oklahoma Is At NOON (EST) You Drunk Idiots
The biggest week of college football games comes at a good time. Your stocks are tanking, summer is fading, you may or may not get fired in the newest round of layoffs, and you're thinking about getting an MBA or going to law school but you're not sure whether it makes sense to take out the student...
College Football Roundup: Chase Daniel and Warren Buffett Are Boyzzz
The most shocking image of the college football weekend occurred in the second half of Missouri-Nebraska. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Missouri hung 52 on Nebraska before the third quarter ended. It was finding out that Missouri’s chubby and short quarterback who will win the Heisman...
College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...
Penn State Football Players Apartment Searched; Marijuana Found
This story is still filtering out, but it appears that the Penn State discipline dance continues. Last night a warrant was obtained to search the apartment shared by four Penn State football players: AJ Wallace, Andrew Quarless, Maurice Evans and Abe Koroma. Police responded to a complaint at 8, kn...
College Football Previews: #22 Penn State
Today's Penn State preview is brought to you by Run Up the Score of the excellent Penn State blog blackshoediaries. It was only 10 or 20 years ago that you could count on Penn State for three things — classically drab blue and white uniforms, All-American linebackers, and soul-crushing offensive li...
Another Downfall Of Joe Paterno's Old Age: Rampant Thuggery
In an attempt to clean up a program which has come under intense scrutiny lately over its myriad off-field issues, Penn State defensive tackles Chris Baker and Phil Taylor were kicked off the team. This news comes just a couple days after ESPN's damning "Outside The Lines" piece on the alarmingly hi...
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....
Live Blogs You'll Gleefully Skip: Illinois-Penn State
We know, we know: Nobody cares about a stupid liveblog of a pointless Big Ten tournament first round game. We're fully aware. As we mentioned yesterday, it's just, like, practice or something....