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Joel Embiid Has Diarrhea
In the spring of 2019, writer Giri Nathan asked an editor if he could write a blog about Joel Embiid in the style of writer Gay Talese’s “Frank Sinatra Has A Cold.” The Sixers player was irritable and dealing with various ailments as his team fought a tight playoff series against the Raptors. “Why t...

Kawhi Leonard Is Just Very Frickin' Good
Look, man. I think the Toronto Raptors are still outright failing at lots of fairly basic manufacturing-a-series-win-type shit. They still have no plan, for example, for creating a steady diet of reasonably high-percentage shots. Or for attacking J.J. Redick, Philadelphia’s best shooter and most vul...

Boban Marjanovic Uses His Large Frame To Obscure Kyle Lowry's Line Of Sight
Boban Marjanovic provided excellent towering defense against Kyle Lowry as the Raptor tried to inbound the ball for the final possession of the half that Toronto got as a result of Lowry selling a foul well....

The Raptors Are Doing Whatever The Hell This Is Again
Well, shit....

The Shook And Possibly Fraudulent Raptors Are Unraveling
The Raptors are being completely outclassed by the 76ers in Game 3 of their second-round playoff series. Kawhi Leonard is the only Raptor who hasn’t played like a total basket-case; as a result, the vastly more determined and cohesive Sixers are cruising to victory. The pressure is starting to show ...

Ben Simmons Gets Away With Elbowing Kyle Lowry In The Dick And Balls
This is some dirty stuff right here. In the second quarter of Thursday night’s Game 3 in the 76ers-Raptors series, Kyle Lowry boxed out Ben Simmons on the defensive glass, and Simmons toppled to the floor along the baseline. With Lowry teetering over him, Simmons threw an angry elbow directly to Low...

What The Absolute Hell Was Kyle Lowry Doing?
It was possible to miss this in realtime. I did. For one thing, it happened quickly, and devolved quickly into distracting chaos. For another, even if your eyes gathered the information and transmitted it whole to your brain, your brain may have processed it as an error and erased it, because it is ...

In Game With Gut-Sick Joel Embiid, Raptors Are The Ones To Shit Their Pants
Joel Embiid was listed as probable headed into Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the 76ers and Raptors, with a case of gastroenteritis. It’s a stomach virus, and is experienced as a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea, which is definitely not the condition you want to be in whil...
![Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uxqqt0eruasj2mlbuxr1.png)
Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]
What started out as some beef between Ben Simmons and Jared Dudley has now escalated into Jared Dudley trying to beef with the other stars of the 76ers roster. In the third quarter, Joel Embiid tried to get a block on Nets big man Jarrett Allen—a player Embiid elbowed in the face and then laughed ab...

The Nets Didn't Have A Plan For J.J. Redick, So He Ripped Them Apart
Only a few NBA players qualify as “unguardable.” It’s a weird category: Being unguardable isn’t the same thing as being quantitatively better than everybody else. James Harden, the best scorer in the NBA, almost certainly will bust your ass no matter how you play him, but there’s at least a theory f...

Ben Simmons Definitely Has The Energy For Jared Dudley
Shockingly, the return of Jared Dudley did not tip the scales of the Nets-Sixers series. In Thursday’s Game 3, the Nets were lit up at home, 131-115, even with Joel Embiid in street clothes. Ben Simmons led Philly with 31 points on 11-of-13 shooting, and well-rounded box score aside, he also kept hi...

Someone Farted Near The Sixers' Bench
With Joel Embiid not playing in Game 3 of Sixers-Nets because of an injury, it made sense for the TNT broadcast to take some time during a break in the action and talk about his absence. As Ros Gold-Onwude spoke about Embiid’s decision to sit out, and the camera panned towards him, someone near the ...

Jared Dudley Versus Ben Simmons Should Turn Into Some Prime NBA Playoff Beef
In Game 1 against the Sixers, fleshy Nets vet Jared Dudley shone. He finished with two points, but made several nice reads after lumbering into traffic, snagged a steal which led to a charming slow-break before Mike Scott broke it up on aesthetic principle, and, most importantly, played some stout d...

Joel Embiid Couldn't Keep A Straight Face While Apologizing For His Elbow On Jarrett Allen
Joel Embiid got hit with a flagrant foul late in the first half of his Sixers’ eventual series-tying 145-123 win over the Nets on Monday night when he unleashed the full force of his elbow into Jarrett Allen’s neck while trying to beat him in the paint. Allen got up right away, but my goodness, that...

Kenny Atkinson's Trust In Caris LeVert Paid Off
When Caris LeVert went down with his gruesome-looking foot injury in November, the initial assumption was that his season was over. It made sense at the time. When you combine his history of foot injuries, and the fact that he had to be taken off in a stretcher, the projections tend to be pessimisti...

Uh-Oh, Joel Embiid's Knee Might Keep Him Out Of Game 1
A visibly frustrated Joel Embiid said he “has no idea” if he’ll play tomorrow in Game 1 of the Sixers’ first-round series versus the Nets, due to pain in his left knee. Seems bad:...

Giannis Antetokounmpo Proved Something To Joel Embiid
Everyone’s just waiting for the NBA playoffs to hurry up and start already, but last night’s game between the Sixers and Bucks promised to be the last regular-season contest worth checking in on. It did not disappoint....

Eric Bledsoe Ejected Less Than Three Minutes Into Bucks-Sixers After Chucking The Ball At Joel Embiid's Chest
One of the defining moments of Eric Bledsoe’s short career with the Bucks so far happened in the first round of last year’s playoffs when he allowed Celtics guard Terry Rozier to punk him in Games 1 and 2 of the series, pretended to not know who Rozier was, and then allowed himself to get punked aga...