picks Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...
ESPN's Sports Business Reporter Doesn't Understand Sports Or Business
We enjoy making fun of ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell, and do so a lot around these parts, because he is a brandbot and a doofus. For the most part, he's harmless, doing nothing worse than publicly embarrassing himself in novel and hilarious ways. ...
The NFL Veteran Combine Is The Saddest
The NFL hosted its first-ever veteran combine this weekend, a chance for players who have fallen out of the league for one reason or another to claw their way back onto an NFL roster by proving that they've still got it. Michael Sam was there! So were Felix Jones, Michael Bush, and a lot of other ...
Crying Villanova Piccolo Player, Now With Musical Accompaniment
We couldn't let the saddest piccolo player just go with a GIF, so here, by request, is a super-slow-mo rendition set to the proper musical backing....
Challenge: Remain Emotionless While Watching This Ron Hunter Clip
Georgia State coach Ron Hunter wasn't able to lead his team past Xavier tonight, but he won't be quickly forgotten. Nor will his weepy opening statement in the postgame presser, which we challenge you to watch without becoming emotional yourself....
Mexican Wrestling Star Perro Aguayo Jr. Dies After In-Ring Accident
Mexican wrestling star Perro Aguayo Jr. has died at 35 years old after an in-ring accident in a match last night in Tijuana. According to f4wonline.com, he hit the ring ropes after taking a dropkick from Rey Mysterio Jr., as seen in video of the full match, and was injured either then or when his ...
SMU Just Got Boned Out Of The Tournament By A Bullshit Goaltending Call
SMU just lost a heartbreaker to UCLA, and holy shit, are they going to have a hard time swallowing this one....
Georgia State's R.J. Hunter Topples Baylor, Dad With Deep Three
Georgia State's R.J. Hunter sank a deep, deep three to upset third-seeded Baylor and get the 57-56 victory. Panthers coach (and R.J.'s father) Ron Hunter, who tore his Achilles celebrating his team's Sun Belt championship, fell out of his rolling chair after his son hit the shot....
The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
If You Want Blood And Guts, Root For Kentucky
Maybe you're one of those people who pushes all the difficulty sliders in your favor when you play NBA 2K15, or forces all the other teams to trade you their best players when you start up a Madden franchise. Maybe you only enjoy victory when it's achieved on the most destructive terms, your opponen...
Bhutan Wins Again! A Match Report From A Deadspin Reader In Bhutan
Bhutan pulled it off! The tiny landlocked Himalayan nation advanced to the second round of World Cup qualifying—where they could be placed into a pool with Asian heavyweights like Iran, Japan, or South Korea—by knocking off Sri Lanka 2-1 yesterday, winning the two-legged tie 3-1 on aggregate. The ...
A 21st-Century Rip Van Winkle: What Changed In My Decade Behind Bars
When the New World was two centuries newer, Washington Irving set a fable, "Rip Van Winkle," in the oldest parts of New York State, where the original Dutch settlers' culture still lingered. Life was European then—just set in America. But progress stops for no man. The story's hero evades his naggin...
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
If You Hate College Basketball, Root For Iowa State
Maybe you're one of those basketball aesthetes who dreads March Madness, who just doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of semi-skilled college kids try to hump a ball into a basket 35 seconds at a time. That's fine! You can hate college basketball all you want, but I'm here to t...
Don Lemon Is Great At His Job
Last night, Don Lemon took to his show, CNN Tonight, to host a discussion of, as he put it, The N-Word. It wasn't the first time he'd done so; nearly two years ago, he devoted an entire special to this topic. Famously, note cards were used, and the question of whether the words "cracker" and "nigger...
We Asked 14 Retired NFL Players: Would You Do It Again?
With Chris Borland's retirement from the San Francisco 49ers at age 24, the question of whether an NFL career is worth the potential price is coming up yet again. This makes it a good time to turn to the people with the most informed opinions on the subject: former NFL players....
Everyone Wants Chris Borland To Mean Something
The San Francisco 49ers' official statement on Chris Borland's retirement doesn't mention why he's retiring, of course. It has a quote from the general manager on how they respect his decision, and a big fat paragraph on his accomplishments in a successful rookie season, but nothing stands out quite...
Did Dan Snyder Kill A Redskins Critic's Radio Show?
Bruce Allen is the Washington Redskins' president and an unwitting jokester, well-known for such thigh-slappers as his claim that no matter how bad the team is, they're "winning off the field." He accidentally inspired more guffaws last week by claiming that his boss, team owner Dan Snyder, "doesn't...
What Happens To Enforcers When Hockey Uses Them Up?
More winter Friday nights than not through my first few years of high school, I was in my usual seat at the local arena, three or four rows up behind the home team's bench. On the ice, the Ontario Hockey League's Ottawa 67's, a group of—boys, really, aged 16 to 20. A handful of them would go on to...