picks Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The "Blurred Lines" Verdict Is Bad News, Even If You Hate Robin Thicke
Thanks to the decision of a Los Angeles jury yesterday afternoon, pop-music fans have a fun, frightening new game to play: Who's Next? No, not named after the Who album—though maybe its infamous pissing-on-the-wall cover shot might now inspire a lawsuit from Andrew Loog Oldham, who as the Rollin...
How To Score Weed
So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right am...
What Is Chip Kelly Doing?
Two months ago, Chip Kelly was given full control over the Eagles' football personnel decisions. Every trade, every signing, every draft pick—that's all Kelly. Which raises the question, given that the Eagles have been the single most active team ahead of the official start of free agency: what exac...
Luis Suárez Is Back And He's Coming To Devour The World
It feels a little weird saying this about a known shithead, but we can't help but appreciate how Luis Suárez's hard work on the pitch is finally resulting in the goals his play has deserved. But even in the face of criticism earlier in the season, as Suárez struggled to mesh perfectly with his new B...
Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
Whatever Happened To That Dez Bryant Video?
It's impossible to prove a negative, but with each passing day, it seems more and more likely that the Dez Bryant video—the subject, over the last two weeks, of rumors so intense that they were, in themselves, semi-legitimate news—simply doesn't exist. ...
J.J. Watt Is A Goddamn Lying Clownfraud
"It's really minimalistic," he said. "There's no frills ... It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." You pictured a hovel on the taiga. A lean-to. Wind whistling between the rough-hewn and bark-clad logs. J.J. Watt waking, abundantly and ruggedly bearded, staggering outside in the pre...
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Ronda Rousey Isn't The Female Anyone; She's The First Ronda Rousey
On Saturday night, undefeated UFC women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey took on Cat Zingano, a strong and undefeated fighter in her own right, and one of maybe two women alive who, on paper at least, possibly had a chance to at least maybe show Rousey something. Then the fight started, and it b...
Anthony Mason Was From The Future
We'll mostly remember Anthony Mason for toughness, the way that we remember the Riley-era Knicks teams on which he made his reputation. Which, fine. He got in fights, on- and off-court; he deployed his elbows and extra-large ass with abandon and occasional malice; he glowered and wheedled and pro...
Strap In, It's NHL Trade Deadline Day
The NHL trade deadline is at 3 p.m. EST, and if not another deal gets done, it will have already been a satisfyingly busy trade window. But the fact that so many big names have already moved is a great sign for fans of deadline chaos: the buyers remaining are running out of sellers, so prices should...
AEG Invokes Terrorism In Bid To Halt Rival Inglewood Stadium Project
Sports conglomerate AEG has pursued the construction of an NFL stadium in Los Angeles for over a decade, and it has become clear that they'll resort to a hilariously deplorable campaign of dirty tricks to ensure that a competitor's stadium doesn't get built. ...
How To Make Arrabbiata Sauce, The Angriest, Loveliest Sauce Of All
Picture, in your mind, a mundane interaction between any two regular, essentially happy Italian people. One purchasing a packet of chewing gum from the other, for example. Can you picture it? The screaming, the wild gesticulating, the red faces, the flashing whites of crazed eyes and bared teet...
Oh My God Oh My God I Think Russell Westbrook Could Beat Up My Dad
Last night, while we were all arguing about a black-and-blue dress, Russell Westbrook and a gaggle of tall men who were not Kevin Durant were a half-hour down the road from where the llamas were dodging the cops, playing the Phoenix Suns. If you missed it, or forgot, the Oklahoma City Thunder lost...
"Sports Analytics" Is Bullshit Now
The 9th annual MIT Sloan Sports Analytics conference takes place this weekend, and you've likely noticed all the coinciding and ongoing coverage of the analytical side of sports. Some of these stories are illuminating explanations of what's going on at the vanguard of sports analysis; others bitch, ...
How Did A Texas A&M Recruit's Dad End Up With A Trademarked Hashtag?
Texas A&M is known for promoting both football and its brand to the point of absurdity, and so it was more than fitting that they won the competition to land Daylon Mack, a coveted recruit from the Class of 2015. Mack, you see, managed to come out of the recruiting process not only with a scholars...
How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...
Photoshop Data: That Goddamn Dress Is Actually Blue And Brown
Since the collected staff of Deadspin is just about ready to split into teams and murder each other over the color of a dress in a photo from Twitter, let's crack open Photoshop and see what it has to say about this stupid dress. ...
Llamas On Llam Llose Llawmen
A pair of lost llamas led Sun City, Ariz. cops on a lengthy chase this afternoon, tying up law enforcement resources and leaving the city free for plundering by the handful of criminals who weren't watching, rapt, in their offices. Watch the entire, hilarious pursuit here, set (of course) to "Yakety...