piracy Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kobe Bryant Makes Another Fan Look Like An Awkward Schmuck
Kobe Bryant has been a kindler and gentler version of himself during his farewell season, and it’s been a little hard to understand how Kobe could suddenly stop being a vicious, hypercompetitive maniac. I’ve developed a groundbreaking new theory, though, that explains how Kobe’s been able to maintai...
What's The Wildest Conspiracy Theory You Actually Believe?
Today, rapper B.o.B took to Twitter with a conspiracy theory, and that conspiracy theory was that Earth is in fact flat. It was a wild theory, and it made us wonder: What’s the wildest conspiracy you actually can kind of get behind?...
Anonymous Seahawk Blames Final Play Call On Anti-Lynch Conspiracy
It's important to try and understand the bone-deep despair that has no doubt infected the Seattle Seahawks before judging their postgame comments. A certain madness can come from a gut-punch like the one they suffered in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX, and that madness can lead to people sayin...
You Like Bacon Because <em>They</em> Told You To
You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make l...
All The Internet Clues That Point To LeBron Going To Cleveland
Though LeBron James has remained totally silent about his free agency plans, the tea leaves are there, if you're desperate and crazy enough to read them. ...
Bill Simmons Lays Out Nonsensical Theory About LeBron James
At the half during last night's Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game, ESPN multiplatform presence Bill Simmons offered up a remarkable theory to explain why LeBron James came out slowly in the game. James, he speculated, may have been distracted by the results of the NBA draft lottery, in which his former...
Thin Air: In The Mountains With Steve Carlton, Armed Conspiracist
Originally published as "Thin Mountain Air" in the April 1994 issue of Philadelphia Magazine. The story appears in The Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan published by Persea books. A postscript with thoughts from both the author and editor follows....
The Tsarnaev Brothers Allegedly Followed 9/11 Conspiracies Online
The world had to wait a half hour, max, for people to speculate that the Boston Marathon bombing was a “false flag,” i.e., a disaster manufactured by the government and pinned on someone else for political ends. Among the first to apply his apparent omniscience and determine, based on virtually no f...
The Mismanaged, Crazy Jets Might Be Keeping Tebow On The Bench Because They Can't Afford The Incentives In His Contract
One of the great things about the Jets this year—the only great thing, perhaps—is that by dealing for Tim Tebow, emphasizing the extent to which they'd use him (they said it would 25% of snaps), and not using him nearly that much (it was 10.1% before week ten and inched slightly higher after), they'...
Former ECW And WWE Wrestler Stevie Richards Has Political Aspirations, Is Insane
Via The Masked Man, former wrestler Stevie Richards has introduced the world to his ideals and policy recommendations (both soon to be ubiquitous in our political milieu) with a radio interview on VOC Wrestling Nation announcing his aspirations for state office. Richards spoke eloquently of his heig...
Some Celtics Fans Will Be Wearing Tim Donaghy Masks Tonight
Celtics fans, including the world's most famous Celtics fan, truly believe that the NBA is rigged and/or biased for Miami and against Boston. To do their best to give David Stern an aneurism, there's a campaign to print out and wear masks of everyone's favorite crooked ref Tim Donaghy. This is the b...
Are Messi And Barcelona Sending Secret Messages To Help Rebels Smuggle Guns Into Syria?
The answer is, no, obviously not. That would be stupid. But we can't ignore it, because at least one entity is buying into the conspiracy theory that Messi, Pedro and their Barcelona teammates are sending hidden messages to the Syrian resistance via their on-field play in a recent Clásico: Syrian...
Cam Newton > Tim Tebow
On the McLaughlin Group on Sunday, the panelists were giving out year-end political awards, and Rich Lowry, the guy from the National Review last seen wiping starbursts off his khakis, gave one to Tim Tebow, for being the most exciting thing in American sports right now, or some such thing. It wasn'...
Youth-Baseball Umpire In Missouri Claims Pitcher, Catcher Conspired To Hit Him With A Pitch
In the fifth-inning of a big 18-and-under Mac-N-Seitz Midwest Championships and Showcase baseball game, home plate umpire Kyle Reynolds detected shenanigans were afoot. They were the sort of shenanigans in which a catcher allegedly jumps out of the way of a pitch so it strikes the umpire behind hi...
Area Man Intervenes In Scooter-Based Road Rage Incident Involving Pirates Player, Still Has No Idea Who The Pirates Are
Pirates catcher Chris Snyder became embroiled in a road rage altercation on Wednesday while driving with his wife and two children. His wife nearly collided with Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia, a particularly short-fused fellow on a scooter. Modhwadia chased the Snyders to a gas station on his scooter....
John Wall Also Knew The Cavs Were Going To Win The Lottery. HMM.
TrueHoop's Henry Abbott asks that we take a second look at this throwaway line from Harvey Araton's piece on Kyrie Irving in the New York Times today: "Tuesday night, John Wall — last year's first pick by Washington — whispered 'Cleveland' in [Irving's] ear before the cameras turned on." Hmm. HMM. [...
Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...