pittsburgh Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Desperate For Excitement, Pirates Announcers Melt Down After Big Win
This is Greg Brown (play-by-play) and Steve Blass (childlike enthusiasm) calling the Bucs' walk-off win on Saturday. If Pittsburgh ever has a good season, Blass's head may explode. [h/t Steve]...

Not A Whole Lot Happening At Training Camp
Here's a roundup of training camp stories from around the league....

Oh Good, Troy Polamalu's on Twitter Now
Neither sound or light can escape todays social network I dont know why I thought I could but today I surrender to the tweeting revolution...

Can Sorcery Save The Pirates?
It doesn't take a psychic to see the Pirates aren't going to get better. But The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services anyway....

Pirates Display Commitment To Excellence By Re-Hiring Pierogi
After a thorough HR review, the pierogi mascot who was fired for criticizing the team on Facebook has been reinstated to his menial, dehumanizing job. Because if there's one thing the Pirates never let go of, it's talent. [Post-Gazette; Photo]...

Steelers Fans Need To Learn That No Parking Means No Parking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Intern Horrors: Eating Mike Francesa's Egg Roll Is Not A Euphemism, Thank God
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns, and the people who use them, shine a light on the worst aspects of internin'. This week: a radio host loses an egg roll, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and a run-in with Warren Sapp....

Ritual Pierogi Guy Sacrifice Sure To Fix Things In Pittsburgh
What do you do when you're on a 12-game losing streak, rank 30th in hits, are dead last in the National League Central, and have such a defunct PR apparatus that you have to rehire your GM in secret?...

Indoor Plumbing Comes To Pittsburgh
Oh good, the "lets flush all 552 toilets at the Penguins' new arena and hope the place doesn't blow up" test was a success. Apparently, the septic system tanked a few seasons in a row to get the top new equipment. [Post-Gazette]...

Pittsburgh Seeks Brave, Able-Bodied Young People For Controlled Toilet Flushing
Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news....

The Pittsburgh Ownership War Heats Up
Pirates owner Bob Nutting is still bitter over the Penguins' ownership group's attempt to buy the Bucs. When the Pirates fired back with a petty, "objective" column (on a team-run site) trashing the Pens for this season's failure, it ignited a firestorm....

Why Won't You Die, Montreal?
For the second time in two rounds, the eighth-seeded Canadiens have won a Game 7, on the road, knocking off both the President's Trophy winner and the defending champs. Obviously, we'll have to kill them in our dreams....

Pasta-Based Terrorism Strikes Pittsburgh Marathon
Here in New York, someone tries to set off a bomb in Times Square, and life goes on a couple hours later. In Pittsburgh, they divert the marathon after finding a microwave with some noodles inside. [WTAE]...

Things That Are Not Yet Banned By NFL.com: Pittsburgh #7 Jerseys With "Therapist" On The Back
It's the perfect gift for both Browns fans and Jezebel readers this Arbor Day. Plus, it's fun to say in your best Darrell Hammond-does-Sean Connery voice. [PhillyBlunt]...

Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Easy Money: Bet On Whoever's Playing The Pirates
It's been said that you should never bet on your favorite team; you're just setting yourself up for double heartbreak. Well, one Pirates fan has concocted a fascinating experiment/get-rich-quick scheme: he's betting against the Bucs in every game this season....

Dear Pittsburgh: It's Just Hockey
Police say a Penguins fan killed his wife and burned down his house after an argument over staying up late to watch yesterday's 3OT game. So that's Pascal Leclaire's first playoff start, and first accessory to murder charge. [WPXI]...

Ben Roethlisberger Suspended Six Games (Unless He Isn't)
NFL PR confirms that Roger Goodell will suspend the Steelers QB for six games, pending "behavioral evaluation" that could reduce/lengthen the suspension before the season starts. The question: Can he literally keep it in his pants until August? [NFL.com]...

Lawyer Claims He Knows Of Yet Another Ben Roethlisberger Accusation
A Boston attorney claimed on WEEI sports radio today that he knows of another case involving Ben Roethlisberger, a Las Vegas night club, and "identical" allegations to the ones he was just cleared of in Georgia. So this isn't over?...

Last Night's Winner: Steeler Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good of people of Pittsburgh, who don't stand for miscreants, rabble rousers, or hippies. Plus, their heroes very rarely get charged with crimes....