pittsburgh Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Jaguars
Everybody loves the Jaguars all of a sudden. We dunno: If Big Ben stays off the bike, look out....

Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....

Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....

Najeh Davenport New Dump Truck For Steelers
The Steelers might have won last night — a loss would have been devastating to their hopes f staving off the Browns — but they lost running back Willie Parker for the rest of the year with a broken leg. (Good thing nobody plays fantasy football in Week 17.) And now only one man can save them: The Ha...

The Rams Can Cure What Ails Ya
The Steelers wouldn't actually blow this thing, would they? The team with the handsome coach and the gay mascot have looked awful the last few weeks, and now the Browns are threatening to pass them. But they wouldn't fall so far to lose to the Rams, right? Right?...

Steelers Roll Around In The Slop For Three Hours
How close we were last night to a 0-0 tie on "Monday Night Football." That's one that would have gone down in history; we'd certainly remember a soccer result more than we'd remember a dull, sloppy, soaked morass. All that was missing last night was fog....

The Dolphins' Quest For History Continues
We are set up, once again, for a dreadful Monday Night Football game, but at least there's some history on the line: We'd love to see Steve Spurrier and the 1976 Buccaneers on the sideline, cheering for the Dolphins so that they can all have their yearly Miller High Life celebration once the last w...

Crazy Night In Ottawa (But Hey, Aren't They All?)
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....

That Highly Successful Buzzsaw
We always get a kick out of these occasional "Best Sports Franchises" studies. ESPN does them, The Sporting News has some, we think even MTV did them once. We like them because they inevitably have our Buzzsaw near the bottom of the list. Sometimes even at the very bottom....

Anything That Doesn't Require Watching The Game
By the way, athletes are always being hammered for having "contract years," in which they play harder when they know they're going to be a free agent. Shouldn't Brian Billick have to give back part of the contract extension he got last year? That team's offense has never, ever gotten better, and now...


Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...

Joba Is The New F—k Lion
By now, you've probably seen these photos of various New York Yankees rookies dressing up like characters from The Wizard Of Oz. We definitely enjoy Joba Chamberlain's impersonation of a f—k lion....

Suddenly, There Just Aren't Enough Hockey Tickets To Go Around
With every story about the NHL seemingly existing only to make fun of it, here's a good one: The Sabres-Penguins game, scheduled for New Years Day at Ralph Wilson Stadium, sold 42,000 tickets in 25 minutes. We might question the wisdom of having a huge event like that on a day dominated by college f...

Steely McBeam Gets Him Some Lady Lovin'
What is it about the Pittsburgh Steelers that women find so attractive? Is it The Dreamboat that is Ben Roethlisberger? The prospect of folding and laundering extra towels? The memory of this? The answers are shrouded in mystery. But the fact is that they just do: According to a recent marketing sur...

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like?...

Jeff Reed Loves His Peeps
You know it's almost time for the NFL to start when even more drunken vaguely sexual Jeff Reed photos are hitting the Internets....