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ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest. most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...

About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...

WWE Goes Nipple-Free
Wrestlemania XXIV is this Sunday ONLY. ON. PAY. PER. VIEW. and though there will be many bare chested (but totally hetero!) galoots offending the eyes with their useless male nipples while doing their sports entertainment thing, someone decided that just wouldn't be aboveboard to have them all out t...

ESPN Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
Wait ... I could have sworn that the TV just crept a little closer when I wasn't looking ... • College basketball: Duke at Virginia (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Syracuse at Seton Hall (7 p.m., ET); Texas A&M at Baylor (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. OK Baylor, how do you top five overtimes? •NBA: Phoenix at Denver (9...

Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!
Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the a...

Hockey On Television? Sure, Why Not
• Now! — Hockey: New York Rangers vs. Boston Bruins. Is it a rivalry if only 20,000 give a shit? [NBC] • In Progress — Tennis: Australian Open. Be sure to let me know if anything interesting happens. • 1:00 — Soccer:Atletico Madrid vs. Real Madrid. I took three years of Spanish in high school and I...

What Happens In SportRobe, Stays in SportRobe
Attention bloggers: There's now no reason to ever again wear pants. The SportRobe is here! (No truth to the rumors that the Orioles are using these as their actual home uniforms). Several models available; and we suppose that Marbury is wearing his pretty much constantly. And Seaver, of course, rout...

Today's Picto-Tube Schedule
Terrelle Pryor is one of the featured athletes on display in today's U.S. Army All-American Bowl at 1:00 pm on NBC. Continue after the jump for the rest of the day's best television offerings....

About Last Night
What you missed while coughing up tinsel ... • NFL: Every time a bell rings, a Washington Redskins player gets his wings. • College football: Rock, a hula-baby, rock ... East Carolina 41, Boise State 38 • NHL: Boss Hossa ... Thrashers 3, Blues 2....

Turning A Weary Eye Towards Football
• 1:00 or 4:00 — NFL: FOX Distribution Map [FOX] • 1:00 and 4:00 — NFL: CBS Distribution Maps: Early and Late [CBS] • 1:00 — Movie: Big Trouble [Comedy Central] • 2:30 — Soccer: Serie A, Milan vs. Torino [FSC] • 2:30 — Dog Show!: Pro-Plan Champions Cup [ESPN] • 3:00 — Movie: Lean on Me [BET] • 4:00 ...

TV's Good For Ya, Pop
• In progress — CFB: Miami at Boston College [ESPN] • In progress — CFB: Virginia Tech at Virginia [ESPN2] • 12:40 — Vegas Vacation [TBS] • 1:00 — NBA: Bulls at Knicks [WGN] • 1:00 — Golf: Skins Game [ABC] • 1:30 — CFB: Tennessee at Kentucky [CBS] • 2:00 — CFB: Grambling St. vs. Southern [NBC] • 2:0...

Nothing Is Over Until We Decide It Is! Yah, That's a Good One.
• 12:00 — MLS: Houston vs. New England for the MLS Cup [ABC] • 12:30 — Movie: Animal House [USA ] (ed. note: :( ) • 1:00 — NFL: Local breakdown of FOX's early games [FOX] • 1:00 or 4:00 — NFL: Local breakdown of CBS games [CBS] • 3:00 — LPGA: ADT Championship, Final Round [NBC] • 3:30 — Movie: Under...

Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover
• 12:00 — La Liga: Real Madrid vs. Mallorca [Gol TV] • 12:00 — CFB: Ohio State at Michigan [ABC] • 12:00 — CFB: Northwestern at Illinois [ESPN] • 12:45 — Movie: Election [Showtime] • 1:00 — Euro 2008 Qualifying: Israel vs. Russia [FCS] • 2:30 — "CFB": Duke at Notre Dame [NBC] • 3:00 — Classic Boxing...

In London It's Already Sunday Night Football
• 1:00 Indianapolis at Carolina (704/719), Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (705/720), Oakland at Tennessee (707/721), or Cleveland at St. Louis (706/no HD). (Distribution Map) [CBS] • 1:00 New York Giants vs. Miami (708/724), Philadelphia at Minnesota (710/722), or Detroit at Chicago (709/723) (Distributio...

The One Day A Year I Wish I Was In Jacksonville
• 12:00 — Ponies: Breeders' Cup World Thoroughbred Championships [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: Michigan St. at Iowa [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: West Virginia at Rutgers[ABC] • 2:00 — Movie: The Fifth Element [TNT] • 2:30 — Movie: Psycho [AMC] • 3:00 — Movie: Bottle Rocket [HDNTM] • 3:30 — CFB: Clemson at Maryland...

Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives....

Derek Jeter Takes Care Of His Ladies
If you needed any more proof that the life of an athlete is infinitely better than yours — and, surely, you did — witness this tale from Miami, involving Derek Jeter, two woman and the Parking Validation That Never Came....

Rockies Sweep, Just As They Prayed For
Major League Baseball's only team with an official religious affiliation is moving on to their first National League Championship Series. Although it's a new level of baseball for the young franchise there will be a sense of familiarity with their opponent. With Arizona and Colorado each sweeping th...