Report: Trump-Signed Alabama Football Caused White House Drama, And Now Nobody Knows Where It Is

In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the popular vote in…

Report: Donald Trump Spent Quality Time Last Week Talking Football With Bill Belichick

In 1993, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen found time between Full House episodes to record an album called I Am the Cute One. Songs include “I Am a Kid,” “I Love to Scream,” and “No One Tells the President What to Do.” The last of those is a celebration of the truth of its title—the president can do whatever he wants, and…

Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"

Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more important than two…

Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser

Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 million home trying to…

Congressional Candidate Doesn't Want To Talk About The Time He Cheated To Win The NCAA Hockey Title

Pete Stauber is the Republican candidate in the upcoming election for Minnesota’s 8th Congressional District. His policy positions are pretty standard fare for a Republican: He voiced support for the rock-dumb tax bill and is pro-mining and anti-environmentalist to the point that he unironically wrote, “Even protest…

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