politics Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....
Everything In NE Is About The Red Sox, Even Politics
Martha Coakley is Massachusetts's attorney general. She wants to fill Ted Kennedy's vacant senate seat. She thinks that Curt Schilling is a Yankees fan. This does not bode well for her candidacy....
Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....
Glenn Beck Is (Gasp!) Right About Football Helmets
Professional lunatic Glenn Beck has argued—based on this article in the Wall Street Journal—that football helmets are evil, because they make players reckless and, eventually, crippled. It's pains me to say so....but he has a point....
Kevin Johnson's Fiancée Accused Of Covering Up His Shady Past
"A congressional investigation of the volunteer organization AmeriCorps contains charges that D.C. schools chief Michelle Rhee handled "damage control" after allegations of sexual misconduct against her now fiance, Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson..."[Washington Examiner]...
Chris Dudley Will Rebuild Oregon Brick By Brick
The former NBA "big man" is running for governor of Oregon, as a Republican. "He's a solid guy, and Oregonians know that." If by "solid," you mean he played the post like he had lead feet, then yeah. [AP]...
Jackie Robinson A Republican Hero, Say Republicans
One of the most asked questions we here at Deadspin get is "If Jackie Robinson were alive today, how would he vote?" Well, someone's offered an answer....
WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...
<em>National Review</em> Guy Continues Dumb Crusade Against Imaginary Scourge Of Lefty Sportswriters
Whiny Jay Nordlinger is now soliciting examples of mean old press-box commies mixing partisan politics with sports. He says he's making an "omnium-gatherum," which is Latin for "butt plug." [NRO]...
Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...
<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...
Curt Schilling Not Done Promoting Curt Schilling
Sure, Curt Schilling has all the trappings of a politician: he's a smug, self-righteous blowhard with a penchant for fondling other people's wives. But is he shameless or delusional enough to gun for Teddy K's vacant Senate seat?...
GOP Is The Preferred Party Of Most Ex-NFLers
Congressman J.C. Watts opines: "The values that Republicans espouse in terms of capitalism, free enterprise, responsibility, working hard, sacrifice and commitment – that message probably resonates with the majority of athletes a lot more."[Politico.com]...
Lou Holtz's Last Foray Into Politics Didn't Go So Well
"I will have nothing to do with politics," Lou Holtz declared in 1983, assuring his new bosses in Minnesota that his days of endorsing race-baiting gasbags for Senate were over. Now he wants to run for Congress. Flip-flop!...
Congress Ends Racism 90 Years Too Late
Both the House and Senate have passed a resolution pardoning former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson for doin' it with white chicks. In a related story, Jack Johnson is still dead. [ESPN]...
Back And To The Far Right: A Different View Of Obama's First Pitch
The National Review's Andy McCarthy summons the ghost of Jim Garrison. You know you're in for a treat when the bizarre claim that "the sports press is among the media's leftiest precincts" is the sanest thing in here. [NRO]...
Fixing The President's Throwing Motion
As you know, our commander-in-chief took the mound last night and did an excellent impression of a man trying to throw a party balloon. I asked some experts to evaluate Obama's mechanics and explain just what needed to be fixed....
Of Course This Made Countdown
The estimable Tommy "Scraggs" and The Mighty Bentern get golf claps from the Left for their Palin full-court press rendering. Unfortunately, Olbermann used Craggs' Garbage Pail Kid nickname. [MSNBC/Andrew Sullivan]...
The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....