poop Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Hereby Declare The Lions The Most Miserable NFL Franchise

Which franchise is the NFL’s poop standard (obviously, the inverse of the gold standard)? Part of what’s fascinating about football’s ongoing analytics revolution is the unknown—that there are possibilities we haven’t even considered for what we may someday be able to do with the application of high...

Georgia Southern QB Has Charges Dropped After Cops Mistook Bird Poop For Cocaine

Georgia Southern starting QB Shai Werts was charged on July 31 for misdemeanor cocaine possession after cops in Saluda County, South Carolina pulled him over for speeding and then tested a white substance on the hood of his car. If you’re wondering why anyone would have cocaine on the hood of their ...

Behold The Destructive Force Of An F5 Poop Tornado

Last Thursday, a “sewer blockage” in the town of Melrose, Massachusetts, had city workers scrambling to restore flow across the town’s entire system. The blockage was eventually cleared, but not before it created what one affected resident described as a “tornado of poop” in her bathroom, after raw ...

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Cow's Long-Range Turd Hitting Its Mark

This dairy farmer knew that the cow needed to crap. You can see his hesitation as he stopped working and stood back so it could let loose. But Bessie saved him a little extra in the chamber....

When Is The Best Time To Take A Dump?

Today, we’re talking about wallets, watching sports alone, asshole coaches, and more....

Poop Johnson Is Back In The News

No, his first name is not really “Poop.” It’s Cory. That doesn’t take anything away from how this transaction was delivered, though:...

Australian Open Match Delayed Past Midnight Due To Bad Scheduling, Bird Poop

The Australian Open has been criticized in the past (even as recently as this week) for its haphazard scheduling, both for heat and for match congestion, and Thursday’s slate of games added another point of evidence to the growing list of reasons why the first Grand Slam of the year needs a bit of a...

The Government Shutdown Has Turned Yosemite National Park Into A Congested, Poop-Filled Mess

After the federal government shut down on Dec. 21, National Parks Service workers were furloughed, but Yosemite National Park did not close. In fact, it is currently more open than ever, with the $35 park access fee waived and entrance booths bearing a “Pass On Thru” sign. People are indeed passing ...

Some doo-doo has appeared at UNC’s Old Well, specifically in the water fountain from which students traditionally take a drink for good luck. CBS 17 has an uncensored photo, as well as this harrowing sentence: “It’s unclear if it was human or animal poop.” [CBS 17]...

Someone Left A Poo At The Bills Game [Update]

The turd was there before the Bills game even started. “This sums up the season pretty well,” says Tim, the Buffalo fan who sent us this photo. Tim says he got to his seats about a half-hour before kickoff, only to discover a piece of shit in the row in front of him....

If You Don't Want To Watch A Man Shoot Out A Turd Into A Toilet From Way Downtown, Here's A Summary<em></em>

The camera is facing a toilet....

Diamondbacks Reliever Archie Bradley Bravely Admits He Shit His Pants Before Entering A Game This Season

Brewers pitcher Adrian Houser barfing on the mound earlier this month was gross, but Diamondbacks reliever Archie Bradley has his own bodily-substance story to contribute to the discourse. On the Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast, Bradley courageously confessed to shitting his pants immediately prior to a re...

Pair Of Port-A-Potties Departs This Earthly Plane

And now, the latest news from the Denver metro area: a portable toilet went to go meet the Sky Gods. It paid tribute to its former home on Earth by spraying a fine mist of odious liquid into the windy summer air....

"Poo Jogger" Caught In The Act

It’s a story as old as time: A man was taking poops where he wasn’t supposed to, and his neighbors have caught him in an elaborate sting operation by hiding in the bushes with a camera....

Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At Employees [Update]

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left....

Mystery High School Football Field Pooper Turns Out To Be A School Superintendent

One New Jersey township was having a bit a poop problem recently. Someone was repeatedly taking a dump at the football field and track complex at Holmdel High School. The police said it was happening “on a daily basis.”...

Shalane Flanagan Takes 13-Second Bathroom Break In The Middle Of The Boston Marathon

Here’s Shalane Flanagan, defending New York City Marathon champion and one of the best American runners of all time, sprinting to a porta-potty just before the halfway mark of this morning’s Boston Marathon:...

Climbers Are Taking Too Many Dumps On Denali

Denali is full of shit....

Eagles Fan Takes Enormous Bite Of Horse Shit

There is either something wrong with me or something wrong with this man, because I have never been so happy about anything that I thought it would be a good idea to get a heaping mouthful of horse manure, and I don’t think there’s something wrong with me....

Here Are Your Absolute Best (Worst?) Poop Stories

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....