port Page 914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch The Portland Timbers' Darlington Nagbe Charm A Ball Into A Goal
We like to bag on the Timbers over here, if only because it makes Timbers fans choke on their kelp noodles. But nobody will be speaking ill of this goal by rookie Darlington Nagbe, who sets himself up for a volley and a perfect strike. Patchouli!...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

If You've Always Wanted To Hunt a Live Human, Here's Your Willing Prey
This here’s the tale of a fella who calls himself “Mork Encino.” Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin’ and survivin’. He launched a website about it on June 20. It’s called “Hunt Me 4 Sport.” As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses...

Chad Ochocinco Threatens To Whoop Marvin Lewis's Ass
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ochocinco doesn't pull punches on anyone....

Portland Continues Mirthfully Torturing Fan Base, Will Offer Greg Oden One-Year Extension
The Portland Blazers are expected to make Greg Oden — the most easily-forgotten TMZ star of our time and the youngest veteran in the league — a restricted free agent with a $8.8 million qualifying offer for a one-year contract extension. With the offer alone, the Blazers will reserve the right to ma...

Luke Fickell Didn't Answer Terrelle Pryor's Call Because He Was At A Taylor Swift Concert
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the incoming coach and the outgoing QB, just ships passing in the night....

John Calipari Has A Shockingly Logical Plan For Paying Players
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Calipari on how to pay just the ones that bring in the money....

Charles Barkley Has Opinions On Things
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Barkley is asked questions and gives answers and it's fascinating as always....

You Can Fly Like James Bond In "Thunderball" For The Low, Low Price Of $249
Dave Tuxbury works at a place in the Florida Keys where you can strap on a jetpack like the one Sean Connery used in "Thunderball" and, with the help of 30-foot hoses that use seawater as a propellant, fly like a mechanized falcon. They say it's the only place in the country where one can do this....

Nets Owner Elected Head Of Russian "Opposition" Party That Really Won't "Oppose" The Kremlin
After he was elected the head of Right Cause — a Russian political party "once openly anti-Kremlin, but more recently the party has been led by loyal personalities" — Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said he probably wouldn't publicly call bad-ass Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin out publicly....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Prodigies
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week's theme, in honor of Rory McIlroy and Kyrie Irving, is sports prodigies. A note to those two: enjoy this moment. If these stories are any indication, there's a slight chance it won't last....

Tennis Player Simona Halep Was Unhappy With Her Breasts
Serena Williams won her second round match against Simona Halep 3-6, 6-2, 6-1 yesterday. Afterward, the 19-year-old Halep spoke about her breasts, namely the decision to have them reduced....

The Story Of The Porta-Potty Peeping Tom Has Been Animated
So yeah, some guy hid in the receiving end of a Colorado yoga-festival Porta-Potty and up-peeped. This is the type of crime that should be told through animation, of course, and animation that concludes as if it was poetry: "A man covered in feces and cuts on his back and legs was seen fleeing the...

Hard-Hitting Dan Patrick Asks Kyrie Irving Where He's Going, About A Million Times
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The same question, asked many different ways....

Facing A Season With No NFL, <em>Madden</em>'s Ultimate Team Looks To The Legends
In any discussion of the greatest video game athletes, the Michael Vick of Madden NFL 2004 always makes the cut, and is usually the most recent name on the list. In the eight years since his appearance, sports simulations have fine-tuned their realism, closing the era of logic-defying performances b...

Jimmer Wants To Be A Knick
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: young Master Fredette knows exactly where he wants to play....

We All Should Have Placed Bets On Rory McIlroy A Decade Ago
An anonymous Belfast man just cashed in a bet he placed on a young Rory McIlroy over ten years ago. The original wager, for £50 (Google calculates that to be about $72), predicted that McIlroy would win one of the four major golf titles before he turned 25 years old. The kid from Holywood won the US...

Cops: Passenger In Ryan Dunn's Fatal Car Crash Was A Production Assistant On <em>Jackass</em> Sequel
Here's an updated version of the press release West Goshen police sent out yesterday after Jackass star Ryan Dunn crashed his Porsche 911 GT3 early Monday morning in Pennsylvania, killing himself and a passenger. (Click image to enlarge.) The passenger has been identified as 30-year-old Zachary Hart...

DeShawn Stevenson Got An Abe Lincoln Tattoo Because Gilbert Arenas Stole His MLK One
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Stevenson maintains he would have passed a Breathalyzer....

Here's The Police Report For The Fiery Crash That Killed <em>Jackass</em> Star Ryan Dunn
Ryan Dunn appeared in all of the Jackass movies and may best be remembered for sticking a Hot Wheels car up his ass. He died early around 2:30 a.m. on Monday in Pennsylvania in a horrific crash that "fully engulfed" his 2007 Porsche 911 GT3 in flames. Dunn was likely speeding, according to the repor...