port Page 943 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fox Robot Makes Perfect Stocking Stuffer For People You Hate
Someone is actually selling 10" action figures of Cleatus, the audience-enraging Fox football robot. Unless it's a voodoo doll I can stuff with dynamite to put us all out of our misery, I'm not interested. [Foamheads]...
Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....
Are SportsNation's Poll Questions Tough Or Very Tough?
Another question: Are the 40,000-plus people who responded either bored with their lives or very bored? [ESPN, h/t reader JB]...
Your 2009 SHOTY: Tiger Woods
As you would could have guessed, Tiger Woods was the runaway winner of the 2009 Sports Human Of The Year award. Even though his breakthrough came late, it's difficult to argue he didn't earn it....
Tiger Played The Senior Tour, Too
Your evening Tiger Woods roundup: Everyone meet Theresa Rogers, paramour No. 14, who at 40-something years old represented a bit of an uphill lie for young Tiger....
2009 SHOTY: Time For Voting
OK, you've seen all the nominees. It's now time to vote. Polls will be open until Thursday at 12:01 a.m. Vote like the wind. Vote like your soul depends on it....
2009 SHOTY Nominee: Tiger Woods
A fortnight ago, no one would have ever expected Tiger Woods — Tiger freaking Woods! — to ever be a SHOTY nominee. Now, the poor guy might win....
An Angry And Bewildered Nation Watches Rick Reilly® Ruin <em>SportsCenter</em>
Someone let Rick Reilly® anchor the West Coast edition of SportsCenter again, and sweet sassy molassy was he awful....
The Machine Won: 10 Preposterous Moments From <em>SI</em>'s 1996 Tiger Woods Profile
In 1996, Sports Illustrated named a 20-year-old Tiger Woods its Sportsman of the Year, and Gary Smith's accompanying story portrayed a young man who somehow combined the best parts of Doogie Howser and Buddha. It seemed like a stretch....
2009 SHOTY Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
In March, A-Rod seemed like a sure bet to be a SHOTY nominee. Yes, here he is ... but the journey to this point was a circuitous one....
You Don't Need Gonads To Be A Goon
And here's another heartwarming girls-in-sports story. Pennsylvania high school hockey gives us the rare mixed-gender brawl, spurred by two boys dropping the gloves against one feisty little lady. (Or in the unfortunate parlance of the YouTube poster, "tagteaming" her.)...
Pregnant Athlete Doesn't Want To Be Babied By School
A Texas high schooler is filing a Title IX complaint against her school district after her volleyball coach benched her in her first trimester. This sounds like a no-win situation for everyone involved....
Friday Night Blight: Why High School Football Is Ground Zero Of The Concussion Crisis
Every year, there are tens of thousands of concussions on high school football fields and no standardized guidelines for dealing with them. That's the real scandal of the head-injury epidemic, writes Will Carroll, and kids have died for our neglect....
2009 SHOTY Nominee: Jay Mariotti
It is this reporter's opinion that if you say "Roger Ebert can kiss my ass," you are a bad person. It's just my philosophy....
2009 SHOTY Nominee: Artie Lange
Sometimes, SHOTY nominees are so honored because of sustained excellence. Other times, like in this example, it's just one amazing, transcendent moment. That moment can be enough....
Verne and Gary's Not-So-Excellent Adventure
If you're like me, you may have found the announcing during yesterday's SEC Championship Game to be....underwhelming. Here's a compilation of Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson's greatest moments of confusion, obfuscation and outright lies....
Greg Oden's Old Vietnam War Wound Acting Up Again
Oden's done for the year after fracturing his patella. (Don't embiggen the picture unless you want to see a man's patella.) Meanwhile, Kevin Durant is averaging 28, 7, and 3. Sorry Portland fans, at least you have...no other teams. [Oregonian]...
Just Be Thankful It's Not Cablevision
Dan Shanoff fantasizes about a world in which Comcast-NBC is an "online sports juggernaut" and Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, and Tommy Craggs do trust falls at the company picnic. [Dan Shanoff / Pic via]...