port Page 972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is It So Hard To Believe That Misty Mounds Is Also A Bereavement Counselor?
Portland Trailblazers forward Zach Randolph is away from the team on "bereavement leave." His girlfriend's cousin was shot to death, and Randolph was granted some time away from the team to grieve, be there for his girlfriend, attend a funeral, ogle glitter-covered jubblies ... you know, typical thi...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, ESPN. Women's College Basketball. NCAA Tournament. Arizona State vs. Bowling Green. 1:00, CBS. College Basketball. NCAA Division II Tournament, Final. Barton vs. Winona State. 1:00, ESPNU. College Lacrosse. Virginia @ Johns Hopkins. 2:00, NBC. PGA Golf. WGC CA Championship, Third Round. 2:30,...

Joey Porter Might Have Gotten Himself Whupped
So you know how Joey Porter supposedly leveled Levi Jones during a fight in Vegas? Well, some more details on the fight have come out, and it's beginning to look like Joey didn't get the best of the exchange....

Writing Up "Assault" In Joey Porter's Contract Was A Grand Idea
You might have thought Joey Porter punching guys in a Vegas hotel would be bad for his team. (Or calling opposing players "fags." Or attacking you with his dogs. Or pretty much anything else Joey Porter does.)...

Land Of The Giants
One would think that a team with four seven-footers in the starting lineup wouldn't need a last-second shot to win. But this is the American Basketball Association, where the official rules more resemble Calvinball than anything. Why didn't someone inform us earlier that, in their finale against the...

We'd Recommend Not Playing Blackjack With Joey Porter
When you put Joey Porter in the same room with a Cincinnati Bengal, in Las Vegas, no less, this is probably destined to happen...

Lars, You Scamp...
Ah, the plight of the female sports reporter. If someone's not making a video montage of your ass and putting it on YouTube, than a Norwegian skier is sitting behind you, gesturing that you suck cock. These women deserve raises. Every single one of them....

Your Booing Is Crushing The Souls Of America's Youth
I've never really thought of booing as something that could do much psychological damage... you play on the road, you hear it, and that's how it goes. The booers, in most cases, aren't making any sort of judgment on you or the choices you made in your life, they're booing because you're wearing colo...

Joey Porter Might Take This As Somewhat Of A Lack Of Respect
One of the funniest pieces by one of the funniest writers we know: The Mighty MJD's great Letter From Joey Porter's Pit Bull, in which the canine shows the same distaste for perceived disrespect as his notoriously batshit insane owner. Porter is amazing to watch because everything infuriates him; if...

Jerry Glanville Is Movin' On Up
So you know how Jerry Glanville is now the defensive coordinator at Hawaii? That's a job that has always made sense; if you've made your money in football, and still want to be a part of it but don't want to live the insane, 20-hour-day of the modern coach, kicking back and coaching defense in Hawai...

Sports Illustrated Apologizes For All The Diarrhea
If the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition didn't have enough problems already — sorry, guys, it's not 1985 anymore; you have no idea how much more access we have to naked people now — it appears now they've got another issue: When you think of the SI swimsuit edition, you just have to think of Hepa...

A Sad, Base, Disgusting Poll, And We, Frankly, Are Ashamed Of You
We continue to feel bad for attractive female sideline reporters. They work hard, they travel like crazy, they put in the hours ... and no matter what they do, all they ever receive for their efforts is "ooh, boobies!" It has to be frustrating, and we do our best to rise above it around here....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, CBS. College Basketball. Louisville @ UConn. 12:00, NFL Network. 2007 NFL Scouting Combine: Running Back, Quarterback, Wide Receiver. 12:30, ESPN. PBA Bowling. Bayer Classic. 1:00, ESPN2. Billiards. Zo & Magic's 8-Ball Challenge. 1:00, ABC. NBA. Chicago Bulls @ Detroit Pistons. 2:00, CBS. Col...






