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German Soccer Player Bites Off (And Maybe Eats?) Chunk Of Opponent's Nose
An amateur soccer match in Germany between SV Preussen Eiberg and ESG 99/06 II featured six goals, one red card, and one mangled nose after an Eiberg player went all Luis Suárez and chewed off a hunk of an ESG player’s face....

Arbitrator Denies Eric Reid's Grievance Against The Bengals For Asking About Anthem Protests
NFL independent arbitrator Shyam Das denied a grievance filed by the NFL Players Association on behalf of Eric Reid against the Cincinnati Bengals, who reportedly asked Reid if he would continue to kneel during the national anthem in the 2018-2019 season. Reid, who now plays for the Panthers, began ...

When Mesut Özil Is On His Game, He's A Goddamn Marvel
Arsenal moved into a three-way tie on points for third in the Premier League with a 3-1 win over Leicester City today. More than anyone else, the Gunners have Mesut Özil to thank for that. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang may have scored Arsenal’s go-ahead goal, and Héctor Bellerín may have gotten the assi...

Predators Coach Peter Laviolette Rewards His Team By Partially Committing To A Furry Look
As a former player himself, Nashville Predators head coach Peter Laviolette knows how tough it can be for a team to go on the road in Western Canada. He used this opportunity to challenge his players: Come away with four points on the two-game road trip. The Preds succeeded by beating the Flames, 5-...

José Mourinho No Longer Tolerates Over-Celebrating, Apparently
After a second Anthony Martial goal put Manchester United up 2-1 against Chelsea in the 73rd minute, it looked like José Mourinho had inspired his side, yet again, to put in a second-half comeback performance to seal a win. Three point would have given Mourinho his first victory at Stamford Bridge s...

The IOC's Pro-Olympics Propaganda Video Is As Shameless As It Gets
You want to see some shit? Here’s some shit, courtesy of the International Olympic Committee:...

David Price Tells Alex Bregman To "Post That" After Getting Blown Away By Nathan Eovaldi
The ALCS was largely beef-free, outside of the front offices. Certainly no player-on-player enmity, like we’re seeing in the senior circuit. The closest thing was Houston’s Alex Bregman posting before Game 3 an Instagram story showing that night’s starter Nathan Eovaldi surrendering back-to-back-to-...

David Price Finally Broke His Postseason Hex
Unfair or deserved, David Price has a reputation for pitching like butt in the playoffs. Before tonight, he was winless in 11 postseason starts since 2011. In Game 2 against the Astros, he had to settle for the “team win” when he was pulled after 4.2 innings and didn’t factor into the decision for B...

Why The NFL Dumped Its Anthem Policy
NEW YORK — The NFL was really feeling itself at this week’s fall meetings in lower Manhattan. Scoring is through the roof! Games are historically close! Ratings are up! Concussions are down! It was impossible to chat up a league official without being reminded of how swell things are going, and ain’...

WWE Is Not Handling The Backlash To Its Saudi Deal Very Well
Six days ago, WWE was in an uncomfortable position regarding its upcoming Crown Jewel event in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, the second card in a 10-year contract with the kingdom believed to be worth $20–$50 million per show. Saudi Arabia’s brutal war of attrition in Yemen and, more recently, Turkey’s insi...

A Timely Preview Of The 2018-19 NBA Season, Which, Ah, Hm, Appears To Have Begun Already
Well hello there, fellow basketball enthusiast! It’s that time again: Time for the NBA season to have begun literally over two hours ago, when the Celtics and Sixers tipped off in Boston. There could be no better time than this to look ahead to what the 2018-19 season has in store for us, except may...

There Should Only Be Two Sports At A Time
Starting tonight, and running through the end of the month, all four major North American pro sports leagues will be playing real, actual, meaningful games. This is too much sports! No one can possibly have time to watch that much sports, let alone read about all of it, or, damn it, to write about a...

I Am The Youngest Pro Shuffleboard Player In Florida
It’s 9:05 a.m. While my friends and pretty much everyone my own age are getting settled behind desks and spreadsheets and scheduling the day’s meetings, I’m surrounded by senior citizens, about to make the first shot of my pro season. It’s already 90 degrees and my bald head is pouring sweat into my...

Contract The Timberwolves
Today, we’re talking about pajamas, Nathan Peterman, liquor runs, and more....

Sydney Leroux Dwyer Reveals She Recently Suffered A Miscarriage
USWNT forward Sydney Leroux Dwyer said Monday that she was away from the NWSL’s Orlando Pride for most of August because she had suffered a miscarriage. She revealed that the “undisclosed illness” which kept her from playing was in fact the loss of a pregnancy....

Chargers Score TD With The Help Of Russell Okung’s Obvious False Start
Chargers receiver Tyrell Williams caught a nice leaping touchdown in the end zone to take a 20-3 lead over the Browns, and Cleveland’s fans booed loudly. They weren’t booing the score so much as the officials, who they thought missed a false start penalty on Chargers left tackle Russell Okung....

No Flags Thrown After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit On Amari Cooper
Amari Cooper was taken into the locker room after being on the wrong end of a helmet-to-helmet hit from Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. On 2nd-and-20, Derek Carr sent an errant throw down towards Cooper’s shins, leaving him in an exposed position to get blown up the way that he did. No penalties ...

Colin Kaepernick Somehow Left Off 49ers Gallery Celebrating Past Highlights Against Packers
The San Francisco 49ers released a photo gallery on Friday commemorating the franchise’s 68-year history of games against the Green Bay Packers in the lead up to their matchup on Monday Night Football. The gallery included photos of nearly every notable player to put on a San Francisco jersey from H...

Browns Owner Jimmy Haslam Will Help Keep The Columbus Crew In Town
The Crew have been saved after all. ...

The Jets And Predators Are Brawling
Predators-Jets is the best sort of rivalry: one born almost solely from the fact that both teams are very good and each stands in the other’s way of the Central title, the West, and, perhaps ultimately, a Cup. And even though we’re months and months away from what we all hope is a playoff rematch of...