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Ronda Rousey Signs Full-Time WWE Contract, Shows Up At Royal Rumble
The rumors are true: Ronda Rousey is leaving UFC for the slightly-more-scripted world of professional wrestling, as the former bantamweight champ turned up at the finale of tonight’s Royal Rumble event in Philadelphia to establish herself and a promised appearance at April’s Wrestlemania. ...

Even Larry Nassar Does Not Deserve To Be Raped In Prison
Like many Americans, Jan Lastocy was watching the Larry Nassar sentencing hearing this week. She listened to Judge Rosemarie Aquilina....

XFL's "Criminality" Ban, Implied Anti-Protest Rule Are Definitely Not About Race, No Sir
The one thing we know for sure after Vince McMahon announced in a conference call on Thursday that he will relaunch the XFL is that McMahon himself is still cagey. It’s tough to say we know much about the league, beyond McMahon’s promise that it’s coming in two years; we’re still in the stage of dev...

The New XFL Is Dumb As Hell But Thank God It's Not Actually Real
C’mon. C’mon. This is not ever actually going to happen. You know it isn’t!...

The New XFL Sounds Nothing Like The Old One
The XFL returned today with a rap. Really....

Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....

Eagles’ Fletcher Cox: I’ve Never Watched The Super Bowl (But He Has Tweeted About It)
One Eagles player will be seeing the Super Bowl for the first time on February 4. Not just seeing it in person. Seeing it for the first time entirely. According to him, at least....

Three Heads And Two Teams Combine For One Very Dumb Goal
This is the kind of goal that makes me want to laugh and puke at the same time. On the one hand, it’s objectively hilarious when world-class athletes are reduced to helpless props in a pinball blooper. On the other, if Marcos Alonso or Antonio Rüdiger were positioned just inches differently, they co...

Raw 25 Proved That No, WWE Doesn't Care About Its Biggest Fans
On Monday night, WWE celebrated the 25th anniversary of its Monday Night Raw flagship television show by splitting the telecast between Barclays Center in Brooklyn and the Manhattan Center’s Grand Ballroom, which was Raw’s original home. Based on the limited history of pro wrestling cards from multi...

NFL Gets Sassy While Clearing Panthers Of Any Concussion Protocol Violations
When we last saw Cam Newton, he was once again at the center of an NFL concussion protocol controversy. After taking a blow to his head during his team’s playoff loss to the New Orleans Saints, Newton was slow to get up and eventually went to the ground as he tried to return to the sidelines. From a...

WWE Releases Enzo Amore Following Rape Allegation
Pro wrestler Enzo Amore, whose real name is Eric Arndt, was released by WWE today. In a statement announcing his suspension yesterday, WWE said that the organization has “has zero tolerance for matters involving sexual harassment or sexual assault.”...

Raw 25 Was A Bore
The Undertaker last appeared at WrestleMania 33 in April. He lost to Roman Reigns. WWE played it up as Undertaker’s last match. On Monday night, he returned to WWE Raw last night for Raw 25, an episode celebrating the show’s 25th year on the air. It was lame....

Arsenal Punked Out Of Yet Another Star Player
If you had to pick a single image to represent Arsenal’s enduring subjugation in English soccer’s hierarchy, you could do a lot worse than one showing Robin van Persie lifting the Premier League trophy. van Persie famously pined for that title after failing to win it with Arsenal after nearly a deca...

**glass breaks**
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![Gronk Questionable To Return To AFC Championship After "Head Injury" [Update: He's Out]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/luffeuohhhvqykoimp8n.jpg)
Gronk Questionable To Return To AFC Championship After "Head Injury" [Update: He's Out]
Rob Gronkowski left the field in the first half of today’s AFC Championship after absorbing a helmet-to-helmet hit from Jaguars safety Barry Church. Tom Brady’s pass left Gronk in a vulnerable position stretching for the grab, and Church was flagged for unnecessary roughness. Gronk seemed wobbly on ...

James McCarthy Suffers Brutal Leg Break While Trying To Block A Shot
Everton midfielder James McCarthy suffered an injury that had his opponent in tears during Saturday’s Everton-West Brom second half. When Salomón Rondón went to take a shot on goal, McCarthy got in between the West Brom player and the ball. So when Rondón took a shot, he ended up kicking McCarthy’s ...

Suspended Kansas Freshman Billy Preston To Go Play In Bosnia
After sitting out his team’s first 18 games while the school investigated the “financial picture” around his vehicle, five-star freshman forward Billy Preston is leaving Kansas and going to Bosnia, where he’s signed a contract with BC Igokea....

Chelsea Return From Brink Of Despair With Gorgeous Team Goal
Chelsea fans entered today’s game against Brighton and Hove Albion in panic mode. Sitting tied for third in the Premier League but with no shot at winning the title, the team had appeared to have given up. They had scored one goal in their last four games, and had yet to win a match in regulation in...

25 Years Ago, Monday Night Raw Made A Splash As A New Type Of Wrestling Show
This Monday night, about two weeks after the actual anniversary, WWE will celebrate the 25th anniversary of its flagship Monday Night Raw TV show with a live show from two different locations in New York City. While the show will be based out of Barclays Center in Brooklyn, additional action will be...

Burnley Manager Denies Eating Worms But Admits To Sucking On Them
Burnley manager Sean Dyche seems like the kind of guy who would munch on a big bowl of tree bark, rocks, and beetles for breakfast every morning and make a big show of it if for no other reason than to prove how much of a hardass he is. Thus it wasn’t too much of a stretch to believe a former teamma...