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![Report: Arkansas Tight End Suspended For Trying To Shoplift Despite Having $450 Gift Card [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/teno1l4qzs9rqzgvhukp.jpg)
Report: Arkansas Tight End Suspended For Trying To Shoplift Despite Having $450 Gift Card [Update]
Arkansas tight end Jeremy Sprinkle will miss his final college football game after he was suspended for his team’s matchup against Virginia Tech today in the Belk Bowl. The school announced the suspension prior to the game’s 5:30 p.m. kickoff. Head coach Bret Bielema released a statement, but did no...

The Best Things We Watched In 2016
When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we watched some things. Here are the best things we saw this year....

Sam Allardyce Pissed Off At Watford's Mascot For Making Fun Of Player's Dive
When Sam Allardyce, fresh off bullshitting his way out of the England job, returned from his brief absence to the Premier League with Crystal Palace last week, we knew we were in store for a few things: hard-fought, defensively sound wins, Palace’s safety from relegation, and a handful of absurd pub...

Bob Bradley Fired By Swansea City
Less than three months after becoming the first American to manage a club in the Premier League, Bob Bradley has been sacked by Swansea today. Unfortunately, it is well-deserved....

Carrie Fisher Really Wanted You To Know She Hated The Metal Bikini
Carrie Fisher, who endured questions about a single costume from a single scene in a long career for over 30 years, had no qualms about making it clear that she hated that goddamned metal bikini you all got your rocks off to as horny teenage boys. Fisher died Tuesday at age 60 after suffering a hear...

Jerry Jones Wants Tony Romo Kept Under Glass
The Dallas Cowboys’ enviable quarterback question, which rookie Dak Prescott effectively answered with his play, has been flipped on its head: Why not use backup Tony Romo as you would, you know, the backup, and protect Prescott for the games that really matter?...

Thanks For The Memories, Chris Berman
By all accounts, tonight is Chris Berman’s final Monday Night Countdown. We’re sending him off the only way we know how....

When Your Mate's Knackered And You Can't Be Arsed To Knock Him Up
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...

Reports: BIG SAM BACK
Sky Sports and the BBC are reporting that the inevitable will soon be made official: Crystal Palace, a single day after canning Alan Pardew, will appoint former England manager (that really happened, right?) and relegation zone escape artist Sam Allardyce as their next manager....

Chinese Club Buys Oscar For Ungodly Sum Of Money And Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
The insanity of the Chinese Super League’s all-out assault on the traditional soccer hierarchy continues apace. All of it is shocking and none of it makes sense but this does indeed appear to be the new reality....

José Mourinho Compliments Chelsea For Playing Like A José Mourinho Team
As José Mourinho has made abundantly clear recently, the Special One is a little peeved by the double standard to which he’s subjected by the media and public. When his teams play defensively-sound soccer it’s criticized, called pragmatic and ugly; when other teams do so, it’s lauded as being smart ...

Alan Pardew Sacked At Crystal Palace After Not Doing Jack Shit With Lots Of Money
After two years of up-and-down management of Crystal Palace (the “up” referring to his swashbuckling midseason heroism of his first few months at the club which brought the Eagles out of danger and led them to 10th place in the table, and the “down” the current campaign that has them teetering on th...

Matt Light Says He Tricked Brandon Meriweather Into Asking Bill Belichick To Pick Up His Bar Tab<em></em>
Former Patriots offensive lineman Matt Light showed up on radio show Toucher and Rich this morning after his old teammate Brandon Meriweather called in, and told a wonderful story about the time he set up a painfully awkward conversation between the safety and head coach Bill Belichick at the 2011 P...

Witness Identifies Aaron Hernandez As Shooter In 2012 Double-Homicide Drive-By
After former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested for the 2013 murder of Odin Lloyd, police in Boston connected him to a 2012 drive-by in which he allegedly pulled up next to a car outside of a club, and shot into the vehicle, killing two men and leaving two survivors. ...

How Does One Guy Keep Winning The Eagles' Free Ticket Giveaway?
The Eagles’ #FanFriday promotion is fairly straightforward: A few days before each home game, the team posts on Twitter a random location in and around the city (and sometimes in Jersey, which I would mock except that I’m from there) where team mascot Swoop will soon be waiting. Be the first to high...

WWE Wrestler/Former NFLer/Good Dad Brennan Williams Put A Lot Of Work Into His Daughter's Pokémon Birthday Party
Offensive tackle Brennan Williams was drafted in the third round out of UNC in 2013, and spent time in camp and on practice squads with the Texans, Jaguars, and Patriots. After his football career ended he began training under Booker T., and in August of this year signed a developmental deal with WW...

The Arsenaling Of Arsenal's Season Has Begun
“It’s a horrible week,” Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger admitted after losing to a short-handed and off-form Manchester City team on Sunday—this just a few days after losing to an off-form Everton team in similarly depressing fashion. As expected, this season that looked like it might be The One is be...

Here's The Tribute To José Fernández From Tonight's Univision Sports Awards
Tonight’s Premios Univision Deportes broadcast has been mostly lighthearted—it is, after all, that network’s ESPYs—but one standout moment was a tribute to José Fernández, with a performance by Lena Burke in front of the late Marlins pitcher’s mother and girlfriend....

Princeton, WashU Suspend Men's Teams For Misogynistic Comments
Two more universities have suspended men’s teams after they found misogynistic messages being sent by the players. Princeton suspended its men’s swimming and diving team late Thursday night after the team’s online listserv, with racist and misogynistic comments, made its way in front of university a...

Nerlens Noel On 76ers' Center Situation: "Need To Figure That Shit Out"
Three months ago, Nerlens Noel said that he had no idea how the Philadelphia 76ers were going to handle having three true centers on the roster. Now, he knows how they’re handling it—by playing him a whole lot less. And he’s pissed, as he told reporters after last night’s loss to the Los Angeles Lak...