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Prince Fielder's Retirement Press Conference Was Sad As Hell
Rangers slugger Prince Fielder has been forced to retire from baseball at age 32. Fielder, who has been struggling at the plate this year, recently underwent his second spinal fusion surgery in the last three years, and doctors have told him that he is no longer physically capable of playing basebal...

José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...

Michael Phelps Drops Tombstone On Chad Le Clos, Wins 20th Gold Medal
Chad le Clos, who took advantage of Michael Phelps’s collapse in the 200 butterfly four years ago, poked the bear last night. He didn’t make it to the medal stand, and Phelps won his 20th gold. Rest in peace....

Remember When Prince Fielder Slapped An Inside-The-Park Home Run?
According to Ken Rosenthal, the Rangers will announce tomorrow that Prince Fielder is going to retire. Fielder had neck surgery a few weeks ago, and it’s apparently going to keep him from playing again. He will retire with 319 dingers, exactly the same amount as his father Cecil had in his career....

Paul Pogba's Move To Manchester United Is All About The Money
In the end, the process was simpler than many imagined. Any serious follower of the game has predicted for years that, when Paul Pogba—absurdly precocious and ludicrously talented Juventus midfielder—was finally convinced that he’d outgrown the Bianconeri and Serie A and decided to make the leap fro...

That Time We Got Jason Whitlock To Say That <i>Mein Kampf</i> "Isn't Bad"
Before he was the sleepy co-host of All Takes Matter, and after he was the failed editor-in-chief of The Undefeated, Jason Whitlock was just a dude with a blog. Despite our best efforts, though, Whitlock never published an excerpt of Mein Kampf on that blog....
![NFL Hall Of Fame Game Cancelled Due To Terrible Playing Surface [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/kjuxkt5yyvxufdeq59sl.jpg)
NFL Hall Of Fame Game Cancelled Due To Terrible Playing Surface [Update]
Tonight, after six months of bleak NFL news and training camp reports about how football is not sleeping (it never does), football is back! Rather, it would have been, if terrible turf conditions in Canton didn’t force the NFL to cancel the Hall of Fame Game preseason opener between the Colts and Pa...

Yesterday's Best Judo Ippons, As Called By "J.R." Jim Ross
Olympics organizers can be sick people, as evidenced by their decision to schedule the single-elimination event of judo—one in which a competitor’s entire Olympics experience can be over in seconds—first thing on Day 1. Here are several of those competitors being eliminated by ippon, as called by pr...

Florida Gulf Coast Somehow Wins Game Despite Finishing With Three Players
Florida Gulf Coast University, aka Dunk City, defeated the Providence Storm this afternoon down in the Bahamas. As you’ll notice the box score below, FGCU picked up the 92-89 comeback win despite five of their eight players fouling out. The Eagles finished the game with just three players, coming in...

Report: A's Employee Installed Secret Locker Room Camera To Spy On Players
According to a report from Yahoo Sports’ Tim Brown, Oakland A’s strength and conditioning coach Michael Henriques installed a secret camera inside the A’s weight room in order to spy on players. Henriques apparently installed the camera on July 24, and a player discovered it the next day. Union rep ...

This Appreciation Of Mark Teixeira Didn't Come Easily
Mark Teixeira is going to announce his retirement this afternoon, effective at the end of this season. I’m the Yankees fan on staff, so when the news came out, Ley asked me what my favorite Tex moment was. I was at a loss....


With Heavy-Handed Symbolism, Officials Lose Keys To Olympic Stadium
Let the Games begin, once they can just get this damn thing open....

Mass Protests Are Following The Olympic Torch All Over Rio
Financially speaking, the Olympics are a huge scam that allows Olympic committees, bureaucrats, and contractors to get rich at the expense of Brazil’s government and its citizens. Brazil’s economy is in the toilet, and it has a staggering inequality problem. There have been protests the entire time ...

Donald Trump Is A Frightened Coward And I Bet $100,000 He Won't Fight Me<em></em>
Last month, I made a public challenge to Donald Trump, which I will repeat here: If he or either of his sons will box me for one round, I will make the maximum legal contribution to his campaign and donate $100,000 to the charity of his choice....

Olympic Reporters Are Hungry And Cranky
Reporters are the complainingest people on earth, and these Olympics are giving them plenty to complain about—not a good combination. Today’s outrage: a severe lack of food options inside the media center. ...

NFL Says Donald Trump Is Full Of Shit; League Never Sent Him Letter About Debate Schedule
Donald Trump’s efforts to weasel out of debating Hillary Clinton have hit a peak, as the GOP presidential nominee has repeatedly blamed his opponent for the scheduled debates that were approved by the bipartisan Commission on Presidential Debates nearly a year ago. That lie apparently not being bold...

Dunk Victim Must Now Quit Basketball, Take Up An Instrument Or Something
Look at this windmill jam, and this Vans-wearing defender’s futile attempt to parry it away....

What's Actually New About The NFL's New Concussion Policy?
The NFL patted itself on the back this week, as the NFL likes to do, after it reached an agreement with the union on a new policy for enforcing the league’s concussion protocol. In an effusive press release, the league heralded the “commitment to protecting the health and safety of NFL players.” It ...

Communists' DNC Flag-Burning Interrupted By DeSean Jackson Fanboy
The Revolutionary Communist Party and First Amendment pioneer Gregory Johnson staged a flag burning outside the Democratic National Convention today, only to find a Philadelphia Eagles fan taking objection to their attempt at free-speech fulmination....