pr Page 589 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse (And Other Disasters)
Virus outbreaks are popping up across the country, authorities are scrambling, the news is bleak, and you have no idea what’s going on. There are panicked rumors that zombies are behind the chaos and multiplying at a rapid pace, taking over one neighborhood at a time. Sirens are blaring across the c...

Root For The Rangers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE TEXAS RANGERS....

José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record
Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season thr...

Root For The Dodgers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS....

Root For The Blue Jays In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE TORONTO BLUE JAYS...

Root For The Pirates In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES....

How To Charm Everyone At Your New Job
Congratulations on your new place of employment! Next up: making a good first impression. You only have one shot, so show up on time, remember everyone’s names, and just be yourself, but not too yourself, if you get what we’re saying. Look, just don’t screw it up. This video should help. ...

Root For The Cubs In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE CHICAGO CUBS....

Chelsea Players Starting To Rebel Against José Mourinho
It was inevitable that Chelsea’s astoundingly poor performances and results so far this season would lead to some level of internal strife inside the club. We now have confirmation of this, with sources in the team describing a rift between the players and José Mourinho to two different papers....

Mikhail Prokhorov Hijacks Nets Practice, Demonstrates Insane Dribbling Workouts
Nets owner and crazy Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov stopped by his team’s practice session today. Was he there to check in on how the guys are feeling? To offer some encouragement ahead of the new season? Hell no, man, he was there to teach those young bucks some important hoop skills....

Debbie Does Drywall: Why Home-Renovation Porn Is My Favorite Porn
Have you ever harbored sexual feelings toward a granite countertop, or imagined that a dual-vanity sink was actually former Prince ingénue Vanity? If so, you’re likely already an avid fan of HGTV (Home & Garden Television, although gardens are scarce), a cable channel that makes the rigorous renovat...

Root For The Yankees In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE NEW YORK YANKEES....

Root For The Mets In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE NEW YORK METS....

Rangers Mascot Uses Fake Spider To Scare The Shit Out Of A Fan
Should you ever dangle a fake spider in an unsuspecting person’s face, so as to scare them half to death? No way, man. That would be a dick move. You are, however, allowed to laugh when someone else does it:...

D-III Wide Receiver Uses Foot To Make Insane Catch
Junior wide receiver Ilir Emini from D-III Knox College in Illinois made the catch of his life in Saturday’s game against Lawrence University, and it’s totally okay that you don’t recognize any of those proper nouns (besides Illinois)....

Tottenham’s Beatdown Of Manchester City Was A Long Time In The Making
The story of the Premier League season thus far has been the sudden and unexpected ascent of a number of Britain’s historically smaller teams, the likes of Leicester and West Ham and Crystal Palace and Swansea. These are teams that fans of the league’s big boys would’ve penciled in as easy Ws just a...

A "Lifelong" Commitment, If Only Technically: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
So, the 2015 NFL Health and Safety Report opens with a message from Roger Goodell, in which the thumb-puppet-looking doofus proudly mentions the lifelong commitment the NFL makes to its players, specifically free comprehensive health and wellness screening made available to former players....

This Is A Good Fan
We’d be up to the same were we Sunderland supporters....

Lance Berkman Cites Random Men In Women's Bathrooms As Reason To Keep Discriminating
On Nov. 3, the city of Houston will vote on Proposition 1, an ordinance which would protect Houston residents from discrimination in work, public spaces, or housing. Retired MLBer Lance Berkman is against it because he doesn’t want men in women’s bathrooms. That’s not a joke. Watch the ad, paid for ...

Prosecutors Believe Supposed Tampered Evidence In Patrick Kane Case Was "Elaborate Hoax"
A story that has never been anything but bizarre gets even stranger. On Wednesday, the lawyer of the woman who accused Blackhawks star Patrick Kane of rape claimed someone had left an opened evidence bag at the accuser’s mother’s house. Yesterday, the woman’s lawyer resigned, saying he no longer had...