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Bryan Price Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts
Reds manager Bryan “Stick It Right Up My Ass” Price got himself ejected from today’s game against the Indians before it even started by picking an argument with the umpiring staff....

How Many Wins Do The Ducks Need Until They're Taken Seriously?
So what if these Ducks are for real? That isn’t meant to be an insulting question. They had a fantastic regular season, but we’ve seen that twice before, each time before playoff flameouts. They rolled through the first two rounds in the West, but they faced a pair of creampuffs. Their Game 1 win ov...

Aaron Hernandez Got A New Neck Tattoo In Prison
Aaron Hernandez was in court again today, entering a not-guilty plea to witness intimidation charges stemming from an incident when he allegedly shot his friend in the face for talking about those other guys he allegedly shot. Anyway, Aaron Hernandez got himself a new tattoo in prison....

Portuguese Soccer Fan Beaten By Police In Front Of His Son And Father
This weekend, Benfica fan José Magalhães attended an away match against Vitória Guimarães with his son and father. Outside of the stadium, he was thrown to the ground and repeatedly hit by a nightstick before being arrested by police. While the police allege he behaved in an unruly fashion, Magalhãe...

Bored Dummy Cesc Fàbregas Kicks Ball Into West Brom Player's Head
C’mon, Cesc. If you’re gonna pick a fight with someone, you gotta get up in his face. Don’t sit back and kick the ball at him like a little turd. (That being said, good aim, though.)...

Phil Jones Falling Down Chasing The Ball Is A Blast In Extreme Slow-Mo
Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal yesterday in a battle of clubs fighting for third place in the Premiership, and the desire to win drove Man United defender Phil Jones to the ground in search of a ball that was just a bit too elusive—no matter how much crawling it took. But even from his hand...
England Has Been Invaded By Giant Insects
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Marlins Man Is Everywhere
American Pharoah races to a Preakness win and sets up a shot at the Triple Crown, all while Marlins Man watches....

Pimlico Plumbing Problems Provoke Preakness Pee Pickle; Patrons Pissed
Bathroom lines have reached Wrigley-esque levels at Pimlico as fans trying to relieve themselves before the Preakness Stakes have struggled with busted plumbing as a result of a water main break near the race course....

Stadium Lied To; Fans, Players Cheer Title They Didn't Win
Strap yourselves in, because this story is batshit....

Leroy Fer Rocket Goal Puts QPR Up 2-1
Disaster struck for relegation-fighting Newcastle as QPR’s Leroy Fer launched an intercontinental missile to put the Magpies down 2-1:...

Sadio Mané Scores Hat Trick On Aston Villa In Less Than Three Minutes
In one of the most remarkable individual performances in professional soccer history, Southampton’s Sadio Mané managed to score three times on Aston Villa in less than three minutes. It’s still not the English league record, though. ...


<i>The Professional </i>Is Deeply Problematic, Profoundly Cool, And Very '90s
Imagine the elevator pitch for The Professional. “Okay, so we’ve got this hitman, right? Only he’s not a cool hitman: He’s great at killing, but he’s also childlike, off-kilter, possibly on the spectrum. He doesn’t really have any friends or talk to anyone outside of ‘work.’ We’ll make sure he doesn...

How To Fight A Debt-Collection Letter
At some point in this unblemished modern world of ours, you’re going to receive a letter claiming that you owe someone money. If it’s a real debt from a real bank or collections agency, then, yeah, unfortunately, you’re going to have to pay at least some of it somehow. But there’s also the likelihoo...

Down & Away With Leo Mazzone
Nice piece on Leo Mazzone by Tom Rehagen over at SB Nation Longform:...

Dumb-Ass Fan Caught On Camera Stealing A Tablet After Press Conference
We can understand the temptation, hanging around after a press conference and seeing all that technology tantalizingly strewn about with no one watching over it. But dude—while looking around all sneaky-like, didn’t you notice all the cameras around? ...

What's Going On With Philip Rivers?
Because of their quarterback’s age and their potential relocation, the Chargers are coming to terms with the fact that Philip Rivers’s time there might be nearing an end. But with Marcus Mariota spending the day dining with San Diego coaches and executives, rumors are flying that the timeframe for R...
