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Nobody Wants Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must've thought that his two-year loan move away from Chelsea—where, instead of repaying his outrageous transfer fee with a highlight reel of goals, he became more well known for his comical, almost unbelievable ability to miss unmissable shots—to AC Milan would be the perfect opport...

Judge Throws Out Evidence In Aaron Hernandez Murder Trial
A big win for Aaron Hernandez's legal team today, as a judge ruled that prosecutors can not introduce text messages that Odin Lloyd sent minutes before he was shot to death, seeming to indicate that he was with the former Patriots star....

College QB Forced To Sue T-Shirt Company To Retain Eligibility
Just when you think the NCAA bylaws couldn't possibly become more ridiculously hypocritical, a story like this comes along....

Pete Prisco Very Adamantly Does Not Understand Probabilities
The most impactful decision in tonight's heinously boring Thursday Night Football contest between St. Louis and Arizona came with 6:10 left in the game. St. Louis, down 12-3, had 4th and goal on Arizona's 1-yard-line. In a situation where the Rams needed both a touchdown and a field goal to win, Jef...

Congress Staffers Walk Out, Perform "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" Protest
Staff from both the U.S. House and Senate, along with elected officials and the Senate chaplain, walked out today to show support for those protesting the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner....

Sad Liverpool's Champions League Exit Leaves Them Screwed Twice Over
It's still hard to judge just how hard we should come down on this Liverpool team when they inevitably find ways to muck up golden opportunities. On one hand, it's mind-boggling that Liverpool, the reigning Premier League runners-up, could fail to advance to the Round of 16 in an obscenely favorab...

Manchester United Are Back Where They Belong, But Can It Last?
Well, they've done it. They've survived the year from hell, with a hopelessly overmatched manager, a rumored but never unveiled treasure chest meant to revitalize a squad whose actual age was catching up to their prematurely graying and receding hairlines, a humiliating season of unending self-infli...

Fuck The British Royal Family
His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like ...

Some Fun Photos Of LeBron James And The Royal Couple
A story in photos:...

The Biggest Two-Yard Run Of Week 14
Glancing briefly at box scores will tell you the Colts beat the Browns and Andrew Luck threw a go-ahead touchdown with 32 seconds remaining. But the box score won't tell you the leverage of the plays leading up to the touchdown, or that Boom Herron's two-yard rush immediately preceding the touchdo...

Elton John Fell Out Of A Chair
Elton John was at a tennis thing this weekend—some kind of exhibition tournament called the Statoil Masters at which Sir Elton was a team captain, or something—and he fell right the fuck out of a chair. Look at him fall out of that chair....

Pennsylvania D-III Coach Miffed That Chip Kelly Didn't Support His Team
Sound the siren: We have some D-III football beef. This beef is HOT....

A Special Sunday Syllabus: Today's Guide to Ignoring the NFL
Below you'll find some great and required NFL reading from around the interwebs, for all the time you will spend not watching football today. Dig in!...

Jayson Werth Gets 10 Days In Jail For Doing 50 MPH Over The Limit
Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth was found guilty of reckless driving today, five months after his Porsche 911 was clocked driving 105 mph in a 55 mph zone on the Beltway in Virginia. He loses his driver's license, and was sentenced to serve 10 days in jail, with the remaining 170 days suspended....

Police Lock Down Moda Center As Hundreds Of Protesters Gather Outside
Police aren't letting anybody enter or leave the Moda Center—better known as the Rose Garden, and the site of a Trail Blazers-Pacers game that is currently in the fourth quarter—according to KOIN News. Hundreds of demonstrators have amassed outside, arriving after marching through downtown Portland ...

Richard Pryor Knew All About Police Brutality
As with many other subjects, it turns out Richard Pryor was willing to talk openly about police brutality long before most other Americans. Here's a clip from his 1977 standup movie Richard Pryor Live in Concert (the whole thing is a masterpiece, by the way), wherein he almost perfectly describes f...

Anti-Gay Bigot Torii Hunter Calls Reporter "Prick" Four Times
Torii Hunter is an anti-gay bigot. This is something he has proven with his own words on multiple occasions. Yesterday, at the press conference to announce the one-year, $10.5 million deal he signed to return to the Minnesota Twins, beat writer Mike Berardino of the Saint Paul Pioneer-Press aske...

UVA-Maryland Basketball Game Site Of Protest And "No Means No" Chants
A lot was going in College Park, Maryland, tonight, where the Maryland men's basketball team lost 76-65 to former-ACC rival University of Virginia in the ACC/Big 10 Challenge. A group of students held a die-in outside of the XFINITY Center to protest the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, an...

Jameis Thinks Being Falsely Accused Of Rape Is The Same As Being Raped
The student conduct code hearing to determine whether Jameis Winston violated Florida State's honor code was finally held on Monday and Tuesday, and somehow USA Today has obtained Winston's entire statement before former Florida Supreme Court justice Major Harding. ...
