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Top-Heavy Venezuelan Quasi-Celeb Promises To Pose Nude If Her Team Wins Copa America
Ms. Diosa Canales, the lady you see on the horse above, has decided to rep the Venezuelan national team (La Vinotinto, as we native Venezuelans call it) by agreeing to finally get naked if they win the Copa America. She's got a Twitter account and everything....

The Iron Sheik Thinks There's Something You Should Know About Hulk Hogan
Some grudges die hard. Happy Independence Day, from the Sheik....

Helmet Would Have Saved Motorcyclist Who Crashed During Anti-Helmet Protest Ride
A 55-year-old New York man was riding in an American Bikers Aimed Towards Education helmet-protest ride Saturday when he fishtailed, "went over the handlebars of his motorcycle and injured his head on the pavement." The head injury killed him. ...

Here’s Jon Gruden Saying Weird Shit To Terrelle Pryor
If you missed the supplemental Gruden Camp episode for supplemental draft candidate Terrelle Pryor on ESPN last night, then what you essentially missed was public harassment on a national broadcast. In a nice way!...

Formula One Looks Like It's Coming To Texas Next Year
Plans for the 2012 American Grand Prix to be held at a new racetrack in Austin, are coming to fruition, with the track under construction and a date of June 17, 2012 circled on the F1 calendar....

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...

More From The Jay Mariotti Hearings: Pulling Out Hair <i>Extensions</i> Does Not Make It OK
Last night we alerted you to the news that formerly ubiquitous ESPN pundit Jay Mariotti would stand trial in California on charges of felony stalking, domestic violence, and assault stemming from an April altercation. That came after a no-contest plea on domestic violence charges in September 2010....

Men Can Crush Helpless Garments With Man Iron
Do you wish you could iron some stuff, but you can't, because you are a man? Despair no more — the Man Iron is here to solve all of your problems! A reader sent us a helpful press release titled, "PHILIPS HELPS MEN TURBOCHARGE THROUGH THE IRONING WITH THE NEW ESSENTIAL POWERTOOL FOR THE MODERN MAN."...

Supreme Court Wisely Declines To Hear Roger Clemens' Dumbass Appeal
Reassuring news out of DC today: the US Supreme Court—which hears less than one percent of the cases appealed there anyway—has declined to hear Roger Clemens' appeal re: his silly defamation case against former trainer Brian McNamee. Many moons ago, Clemens sued McNamee after he dished on Clemens' s...

Our Old Friend John Salley Says O.J. Was Innocent
Onetime Deadspin contributor John Salley joined 790 The Ticket's The Jorge Sedano Show for an interview that will air tomorrow morning. In it, Sedano asked Salley who he considered—aside from himself—to be the best thespian/athlete....

Floyd Landis Is Sparring With Lance Armstrong Under A Strange Twitter Pseudonym
Outside magazine has the story of temporary 2006 Tour de France champion Floyd Landis and his anti-Lance-Armstrong Tweeting collective. Right now, they're holding court at @GreyManrod....

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Nets Owner Elected Head Of Russian "Opposition" Party That Really Won't "Oppose" The Kremlin
After he was elected the head of Right Cause — a Russian political party "once openly anti-Kremlin, but more recently the party has been led by loyal personalities" — Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said he probably wouldn't publicly call bad-ass Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin out publicly....

Ritually Edgy T-Shirts Prompt Ritual Coverage Of Ritually Outraged Criticism
The Associated Press reports that the dry-goods sales-and-marketing company Nike has provoked a reaction by selling t-shirts designed to provoke a reaction. The shirts include "the phrases 'Dope,' 'Get High' and 'Ride Pipe,'" the AP reports....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Brian "Crush" Adams
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: Brian "Crush" Adams, who died in 2007 after accidentally ingesting a lethal mixture of prescription drugs....

Four Last-Minute Delusions Around The NBA Draft
Basketball Has A Bright Future In The Garden State: Oh, Newark. Newark. The Nets got tired of looking at New Jersey, filed for divorce, and moved out of the Meadowlands. Brooklyn is so much richer, more sophisticated-it's just a better match. Don't you want the Nets to be happy? Oh, but Brooklyn's p...

<em>Hollywood Reporter</em> Refutes <em>Daily Mail</em> Story About O.J. Confessing To Oprah That Cited <em>National Enquirer</em> Story That Doesn't Exist
As you were, Internet. [Hollywood Reporter]...

Daniel Sedin Wins The Important Hardware: A Broken Trophy
The NHL awards were last night; we didn't watch. (Mostly a Jay Mohr thing.) So we couldn't tell you what outfit the readers of Seventeen picked out for Jeff Skinner, or if the pointless Jennings Trophy was handed beforehand, like the technical Oscars....

"He's Got A Great Personality": Your Passive-Aggressive 2011 NBA Draft Scouting Roundup
The NBA playoffs are over; the NBA Draft is here. Time to stop watching Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, and Chris Paul, and to start dreaming about the future—a future in which, honestly, none of this year's prospects have much hope of being better than the leag...

Sadistic Ulster Talk Show Host Made 9-Year-Old Rory McIlroy Chip Into An Unfairly Small Washing Machine
This look at the origins of our Ror(y)gasm comes via Devil Ball Golf:...