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It Sure Looks Like Brian Wilson's Pal The Machine Had A Lovely Day After The Closer's Hair-Metal Birthday Bash
About an hour and a half after the Brian Wilson Hair-Metal Birthday Extravaganza gallery was posted this time yesterday, tipster Kevin F. chimed in to say, "the beard's b-day has some nice pics, but the video from the baseball game the next day was better. The Machine streaks through the bleachers...

Here's Video Of A Kentucky Football Recruit Tackling a Spring Break Rent-A-Guard Into A Pool
Those who don't pay attention to the nuances of the University of Kentucky's football recruiting wouldn't know that Daylen Hall is the 5-foot-9, 190-pound cornerback out of St. Xavier High School in Louisville. Or that he runs a 4.33 forty....

Barry Bonds Guilty On One Count Of Obstruction; America Now Safe From The Scourge Of PEDs
After four days of deliberations, the jury in the Barry Bonds case has found the all-time home run leader guilty on one count of obstruction; the defense and the prosecution settled on a mistrial for the remaining three counts of lying to a grand jury. We would like to point out that he is still a p...

In His Own Words: Tico Pringle, Defensive Back (2006)
BYU suspended Tico Pringle after an ex-girlfriend told the honor code office he had forced her to have sex....

Brian Giles' Attorney Takes Ball Out During Trial Break And Has Chuck Knoblauch Sign It
Here's Brent Schrotenboer, who's making his career covering this trial like Star Jones did with O.J., writing in the San Diego Union-Tribune:...

Washed-Up Larry Johnson Has Settled His 2008 Drink-Spitting Lawsuit For $100k
Larry Johnson, most recently of the Washington Redskins and this misspelled jersey, has seen his once blossoming NFL career disappear. Now, a lawsuit regarding an inflection point along Johnson's precipitous fall from grace has disappeared too. Perhaps Johnson wants to know if his career can come ba...

The UVA Lacrosse Murder Case Continues On Its Creepy Path To A Grand Jury
The District Court in Charlottesville, Va. has ruled that the now-infamous case that charges University of Virginia men's lacrosse player George Huguely with the murder of his then-girlfriend, women's team member Yeardley Love, has enough evidence to go to a grand jury....

Canada Acknowledges That Its Hockey Is More Important Than Its Politics
Canada has rescheduled a French federal election debate to accommodate the opening game of the Montreal-Boston game on Thursday. We admire the compromise: here in the states, we'd probably just have had to choose based on which event made for a better drinking game....

The Dodgers Are Concerned Enough About Fan Violence To Offer Half-Priced Booze At Six Upcoming Games
The Los Angeles Dodgers have talked a good game in returning their stadium to something that doesn't resemble a gangland Thunderdome where opposing fans get beaten into comas for no discernible reason....

Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Ryan Braun Did Not Actually Suggest Prince Fielder Is A Threat To Your Bag Of Potato Chips
Our friends at Talking Chop spotted something strange during the Brewers-Braves broadcast Thursday afternoon....

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

We Can Infer From This Video That Heidi Watney Does Not Like Her Food Fried
Baseball's on-field reporters, much like NBA's sideline reporters, are often sent to ask asinine questions and do asinine things on camera. It's a part of the job. Today in Cleveland, as the Sox did indeed crawl their way into an 0-6 start, NESN sent Heidi Watney to try Progressive Field's chicken...

ESPN's Corporate Blog Finds Rock Bottom Somewhere In This Idiot's Office
If you're at all like me, you've avoided ESPN's in-house blog, Front Row, in much the same way you avert your eyes whenever a cat starts licking its own asshole. But this? This is just too much....
![Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j51fw71y5fojpg.jpg)
Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]
Last we heard of Rick Pitino extortionist Karen Sypher's legal counsel, she was performing oral sex on him in his office. But that lawyer testified against her in her trial, so things weren't working out so well there....

This "He Said, She Said" Trial Involving An Ex-NL West Outfielder Is Getting Weird
Of course, we're talking about the palimony case of Olvera v. [Brian] Giles. What did you think we were talking about? Giles' ex-girlfriend is suing him for $10 million that he allegedly promised her after their breakup....

Apply Within To Become The Next Head Coach Of Princeton Men's Basketball
Sydney Johnson, who coached Princeton to victory over Harvard in the game of the century, and then hung tight with Kentucky in the first round of March Madness, took the head coach job at Fairfield University today. You may see the irony there, since it's usually Princeton that poaches faculty at th...

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

Snooki Body Slams Michelle McCool, And Other Great Moments From WrestleMania 27
For those of you who didn't have the $54.50 to spend on pay-per-view this weekend, we have compiled the best moment's from Sunday night's WrestleMania 27. There were many highlights: Snooki did a backflip, Stone Cold Steve Austin laid the smack down, and Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool wrestled ...

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...