pr Page 734 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goalkeeper Gets Sent Off After 10 Seconds Of Terrible Soccer
Ebbsfleet goalkeeper Preston Edwards was sent-off, but the true villain of the piece is the left-back. No.3 — damn right you should hold your head in your hands....
Michael Vick Decided Going On Oprah Wasn't The Brightest Of Ideas
Two days before he was scheduled to sit down on the couch upon which Tom Cruise berzerkered, Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick canceled the appearance. Here's a statement that the team and Vick's personal PR staff released, via the Philadelphia Inquirer's Eagles blog:...
Joba Chamberlain's Fatness Goes Down The Memory Hole
This morning's conventional wisdom: "Joba's out of shape." Headline just posted on Yankees.com: "Added muscle has Joba Chamberlain eager to throw."...
Hofstra's Charles Jenkins Hit A Game-Tying Three And A Game-Winning Three Last Night
Last night against William & Mary, Hofstra's Charles Jenkins knocked down a three to send the game into overtime, and then launched a game-winning 35-footer at the buzzer for the win. And you thought you'd never see a bona fide highlight from ye olde Colonial Athletic Association....
CC Sabathia Lost Weight, But Don't Worry: Joba Chamberlain Found It
The circus is back in town! Just when you thought it might be a quiet Yankees Spring Training, with everyone under contract and saying the right things, here comes Joba, larger than ever....
Katie Baker Has Been Poached By Bill Simmons For His Forthcoming Editorial Project
Our great friend and part-time contributor (even though everyone who worked here considered her full-time), has decided to leave the lush life of freelance writing while praying her day job co-workers at The Prominent Money Managing Vampire Squid would not find out its Katie Baker was the same as t...
Padres OF Complains About Panda Express; Too Bad Team Owner Runs The Chain
On Tuesday, Cameron Maybin, the speedy outfielder traded from the Marlins to the Padres this offseason, tweeted this (@CamMaybin; it's since been scrubbed):...
The Rock Returns To Wrestling To Call John Cena A Tool
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson returned to WWE Raw last night for the first time in seven years. Why, you ask? To announce that he was hosting Wrestlemania 27 this April. Oh, and to talk shit about John Cena....
Chargers WR Legedu Naanee Asked, "Do You Know Who I Am?" While Allegedly Resisting Arrest
Legedu Naanee, a San Diego Chargers wide receiver who had 23 receptions last year, was arrested in Indianapolis late Saturday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest. The arrest itself is pretty insignificant — here's a guess that the charges will be dropped before long — but it's ...
Albert Haynesworth Accused Of Sexual Assault
Haynesworth, who was charged with assault in a road rage incident on Feb. 2, has been accused of sexually assaulting a waitress at the W Hotel last weekend. Haynesworth's agent says there is "no truth to these allegations." [WRC-4]...
Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...
HS Baseball Coach Cuts Double-Amputee Pitcher; Quickly Becomes Worst Human Ever
This young man is Anthony Burruto, a sophomore at Dr. Phillips High School in Orlando and an aspiring pitcher. Burruto was born without a shinbone in his left leg and without a fibula in his right, and doctors amputated his lower legs when he was just a baby. He's been playing baseball since he was ...
Your Super Bowl XLV Pregame Show Open Thread
Four-and-a-half hours of pregame coverage is about to start on Fox. Water torture for the brain. So, here's a collection of Super Bowl XLV stories that have filtered in over the course of the past few days....
Minn. Legislator Proposes Bill To Open Lou Gehrig's Medical Records For Concussion Probe
A Minnesota state legislator will introduce a bill on Monday that would permit the Mayo Clinic to release the medical records of Yankees great Lou Gehrig for medical review....
Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...
Here's A Video Of Someone Dunking Who Is Not Blake Griffin
Last night, unranked Indiana defeated No. 20 Minnesota, 60-57. More importantly, though, Tom Pritchard, a 6'9" junior forward and also a white person, threw down what teammate Verdell Jones III called a "Space Jam Michael Jordan reach-back" dunk....
Last Night's Winner: Homeland Security Hates Sports
Yesterday, thousands of people went to their favorite sites for watching sports online, only to be greeted by this frankly horrifying banner. They've all been shut down by the government, in an evil conspiracy to force you to purchase NHL Center Ice....
The Worst Men In Sports
Our friends at The Good Men Project have compiled a list of the top 10 good guys in sports. This is not that list....
At Least Liverpool Still Has One Fernando Torres
With Torres headed to Chelsea for a record $80 million, you know who's got to be steamed? The Liverpool fan who legally changed his name to "Fernando Torres" last month....
Mets Excel At Ponzi Schemes, Nothing Else
So what if the New York Mets have finished fourth in the NL East in back-to-back seasons? So what if Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo are due a combined $19 million this year? The Mets are baseball's best at timing Ponzi schemes....