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Ron Washington Told The Rangers To "Motherfuck Golf" In An Expletive Laced Pre-Game Speech Before Game 7 Against The Cardinals
Hours after losing game 6 in dramatic fashion and moments before sending his team out on the field for a decisive game 7, Ron Washington delivered this expletive and NSFW laden pre-game speech. Audio via Joe Sports Fan. ...

Air National Guardsman Rappels From Rafters, Drops Ceremonial First Puck At Islanders Capitals Game
Feel free to ignore the "highlights" in the linked video, but do watch Staff Sgt. Matthew Zimmerman drop the puck between Washington Capitals' captain Alex Ovechkin and something called Mark Streit....

Jesse Ventura Is Sick Of America, Plans To Become Mexican
Former professional wrestler turned former action movie hero turned former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura is about to turn Mexican, the AP reports. Ventura is ticked off that he lost a lawsuit against the federal government (of the USA) on Thursday, alleging that airport scans and pat-downs amou...

Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....

ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...

Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...

ShortCenter: The Things They Say About Quarterbacks
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Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...

A Muppet Interfered On WWE Raw Last Night
Back in the early 90s, wrestling was criticized as being for kids. Characters were cartoonish, issues were black and white, storylines were g-rated. Then the Attitude Era came, and realism and edginess were prized. In 2011, Beaker helps an Italian stereotype win a match....

SprtsCntr: We Need To Talk About Philip Rivers
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It Was Halloween, So Maybe The Chiefs Just Frightened Philip Rivers
Your morning roundup for Nov. 1, the morning ... WHOA! Photo via Kansascity.com; h/t to Michael T. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

SprtsCntr: The Losers All Talk The Same
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How Boca Raton Lost Its All-Star Pro Soccer Team Without Even Trying
The Boca Raton magicJack should have been the most marketable franchise in Women's Professional Soccer. The squad, formerly the D.C.-based Washington Freedom, was bought before the 2011 season by millionaire Dan Borislow, who renamed it after his own telecom product and moved it near his Florida hom...

SprtsCntr: Game 7!
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SprtsCntr: Stephen A. Smith Is Emphatic About Cautious Optimism
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Today In Well-Intentioned But Terribly Misguided Promotions
Depression is a serious problem, but tying the fight against it to a Wednesday night football game involving two teams from the Big East probably isn't the most ideal marketing strategy. [via @PantherLair]...

SprtsCntr: Darren Woodson Takes On The Touchscreen
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Vince Young Allegedly Gets Angry When You Deny Him $8,000 In One-Dollar Bills
The Dallas strip club manager who was assaulted by Vince Young over a year ago is now adjusting the narrative of the altercation because he would like some money for it—possibly in the form of dollar bills. Creiton Kinchen's lawsuit says that he did not provoke the Eagles backup by flashing an upsid...

SprtsCntr: Tony La Russa's Wonderful Communications Breakdown
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