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Fake Press Release Makes Worthless Cubs/Brewers Game Temporarily Interesting
How do you make a Cubs/Brewers interesting when they have a combined 126-155 record? You slip a fake press release supposedly written by Cubs GM Jim Hendry into the press pack! Here's a pic (via Paul Sullivan's Twitter) ......

Deadspin Classic: The Brewers Meet The Furries
Originally published July 6, 2007...

Vera Zvonareva is a Youth-Prison Riot Fetishist's Wet Dream
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Private Stache: Jimmy Connors And Chris Evert, Love-Love
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 4
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 4: After a two-week hiatus, "fuck" reclaims the top spot in the rankings....

Coach Shows Childlike Enthusiasm When Hiring A Hooker
A Florida high school football coach was nabbed in a prostitution sting over the weekend, and the police report makes him sound like a kid on Christmas morning....

Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart Busted For Stealing Pills
Neidhart was charged with possession and burglary after breaking into a neighbor's home to steal her Oxycontin and methadone. We hope he's retained The Mouth Of The South as his lawyer. [Tampa Tribune]...

Two Pop Queens <3 Notre Dame. Great.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Give Him NASCAR Tickets or Give Him Death
Michael Lynn Sherer had the whole world in his hands. He busted out of prison. He had a gun. And, some obligin' folk near the NASCAR track in Atlanta gladly swapped a pair of race tickets for weaponry....

College Football Season Means Trick Plays
Presbyterian pulled off a modified lateral fumblerooski last night. When the school's assistant SID is emailing you about a game they lost by 40, it must be special....

Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin, Bro
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like USC's Lane Kiffin, the happy mediocrity who won his debut last night against Hawaii. Coach Peter Principle is 1-0, everyone....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 3
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 3: a total "shit"-fest featuring a stirring comeback by "fuck."...

At-Bat Music Is Ripe For A Prank
Adam LaRoche made sure the PA system played "It's Raining Men" the first two times Kelly Johnson stepped to the plate. This will feature prominently in season ticket sales pitches, since it's more fun than any actual baseball in Arizona....

Thierry Henry And KISS Combine To Form The Most Bizarre Ticket Promotion Of The Month
Put "Strutter" on repeat and head to Dallas because for $40 you can see FC Dallas play New York and then come back two days later for KISS! One of the target audiences here probably feels insulted. [Press Coverage, pic too]...

Roger Clemens Appears Dopey, Unconcerned In Mug Shot
Floral tie, frosted tips and rakish grin? Someone just pleaded not guilty to six counts of perjury! [The Smoking Gun]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Owen Hart
Every week or so, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Owen Hart, who fell to his death in 1999 during a WWE pay-per-view event....

Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...

Mark Prior Doesn't Know Why You Keep Asking Him About Stephen Strasburg
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: walking arm injury Mark Prior....

Weekend Winner: Eastern Washington's Horrid New Field
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the bright red turf at EWU, which will trick you into thinking your eyes are bleeding. Even if they probably are....