pr Page 796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heavyweight David Haye Prefers Subtlety In His Wardrobe Choices
How to make headlines at a German boxing press conference: wear a t-shirt emblazoned with a cartoonish version of yourself holding up the bloody heads of the Klitschko brothers. [Josh Q. Public]...
The Most Interesting Spring Football Game Commentary You'll Ever Hear
Radio station Rock 104 live-streamed the Southern Miss Golden Eagles game for its hometown fans on Saturday, but those tuning in received something else entirely: Hillbilly sex talk, belching, and the N-word....
This Is One Way How A Cameraman Gets Injured During A Spring Football Game
The Montana State Grizzlies annual Spring football game was festive...until one of the Silver Tip skydivers landed on a cameraman, who according one reader, broke his arm as a result of the collision. [Missoulian]...
On Juiced Balls and Homer-Happy Yankee Stadium
Earlier today, Ryan Garko sent an A.J. Burnett fastball in the direction of Bear Mountain, the 19th homer in four games at the giant ATM known as Yankee Stadium. Is this "Coors Field East"?...
Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...
The Man's A Menace!
Bill Murray hits spectator with tee shot at Outback ProAm, uses incident as opportunity to test new comedy material. [St. Petersburg Times]...
Isiah Thomas Promises No More Sex Harassing, Suicide Attempts, Personal Salaries
In the latest installment of the Isiah Thomas career makeover, our hero magnanimously told the assembled press corps that his first year's salary as coach of FIU will be given back to the school....
And Everything Was Going So Well For The Cardinals
The return of Chris Carpenter to the Cardinals' rotation was a brief one. DL likely. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...
Reed Johnson Does Not Believe In Goat Stories
Even though another goat was found hanging from the arm of Harry Caray, right fielder Reed Johnson still manages to make the ladies swoon with his wall-climbing abilities. [Total Sports]...
Frazier, On Ali's Health Problems: 'God Judges, You Know What I'm Saying?'
As a heavyweight, Joe Frazier was as tough and awe-inspiring as they come. That's why it's hard to listen to him now; both because of the way he speaks, and what he's saying....
Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...
This Is Why The Internet Wins
In a day inundated with depressing news, it only seems fitting to end it with mindless insanity courtesy of Mr. Ufford at Warming Glow. This is your reward for being respectful today....
High School Basketball Without The High Schools
Sports Illustrated has a very curious story this week about Findlay Prep, the team that won ESPN's inaugrual RISE National High School Invitational tournament last weekend. There's just one issue—Findlay Prep is not a high school....
Maybe B.J. Raji Isn't A Dopehead
Oh, anonymous sources ... you've done it again. Those crazy "web logs" have reported that at least six football players failed pre-draft drug tests, which the players naturally deny. So whose pants are on fire?...
Attention Hockey Players: Doctors Would Like To See Inside Your Brain-Damaged Noggins
Former Red Wing/Hurricane/Flyer Keith Primeau will donate his soft squishy hockey brain to science. Now ... or is he still using it? [Freep]...
Orioles Fans Prepared To Explain To Teixeira That All Is Forgiven
The weather looks fine for the Orioles home opener today against the Yankees (4 p.m., ET), with the forecast calling for scattered clouds, variable winds and a 95 percent chance of heavy cursing at Mark Teixeira....
Lucky Teens Headed To Final Four On Mickey D's Dime
Here's a bit of pre-Final Four happiness. Remember Patrick Thibodeau, the Down Syndrome kid who played, and scored, for his high school basketball team? Well, he'll be at the Final Four and you won't....
Michael Vick Is Still An Idiot
Yesterday, a Virginia bankruptcy court rejected Michael Vick's, um, completely idiotic bankruptcy plan. Why? Perhaps it was a bad idea for a broke, unemployed athlete to claim he needs two houses and four cars....
If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans....
'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....