premier Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

United Move Closer, Lose Nani
Manchester United dominated West Ham en route to a 4-1 victory, holding off Chelsea for another week. Ronaldo netted a double for the Red Devils before his countryman Nani received a red card for a blatant headbutt to Lucas Neill's nose. Now Nani will be forced to sit out the final match of the seas...

I Can't Even Think About Doing This Without Falling Down
Cristiano Ronaldo had an impressive back-heel goal in Man U's 4-0 rout of Aston Villa yesterday. In other news, I just tripped over my mouse....

Bendtner To Villa: Bite My Shiny Metal Ass
Arsenal 1, Aston Villa 1 — When you get right down to brass tacks, Arsenal scored two goals, while Villa couldn't even get one. That sounds about right. Now, the story of who kicked whose ball into whose net shouldn't matter. The fact that the team in red scored on each side of the pitch was symmetr...

This Ends Badly
That's just fucked up. The man you see above, Arsenal's Eduardo Da Silva, is about to have his tibia and/or fibula poking through his sock. Needless to say, it's pretty brutal and because you might not want to see it, I'll just link to it after the jump, along with the non-crippling Premier League a...

Adebayor Leads Arsenal Past Fulham
Emmanuel Adebayor's pair of headers gave the Gunners a comfortable cushion over a downtrodden Fulham side. It was another example of the Gunners playing in an un-Arsenal-like style, but they accomplished the task with ease. Tomas Rosicky added to the scoring sheet with a goal off of a volley to make...

Another Royal Stunner
Last year's biggest surprise in the Premier League, the Americans Royals of Reading FC, pulled off the surprise of the day with a crushing 3-1 victory over Liverpool. Fernando Torres could have set the tone with an early goal but he was unable to put in an easy attempt against American keeper Marcus...

Never Bring A Lion To A Cannonfight
For some reason, great teams always play with more fervor after a loss. We can all assume the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl if they fall in Week 17, or that Duke basketball will win the Final Four if they trip up in the ACC tournament. But this isn't the case over in England. Instead,...

English Football (The Real Kind)
Liverpool took an early lead within the friendly confines of Anfield but they couldn't hold off red-hot Arsenal for the full 90 minutes. Liverpool took a quick lead courtesy of a low rocket delivered by Steven Gerrard on a fixed piece in the sixth minute. From there the defense took root in an attem...

We're Back, Baby!
Jose Mourinho was the Special One, but Didier Drogba is like Jesus Christ Superstar. My personal savior netted two goals en route to a 6-0 (SIX!) curbing of an exposed Man City squad. Sven hasn't been crapped on like that in months! Finally the top four is rounding back into form, especially after L...

The Beautiful Game in La Liga
Anybody out there in the land of the readership with a subscription to Gol TV should turn to that channel right this minute! Barcelona was leading Athletic Bilbao 2-0 when they were looking for a third. Henry has hit the post three times already while Messi and Ronaldinho have been providing magic. ...

An Unspectacular Arsenal
Bad news for Arsenal fans ... in fact, bad news for all Premiership fans. Thierry Henry is taking his nifty feet and moving to Barcelona. With the move, Arsenal now seems like just another team while Barcelona inspires thoughts of, "Holy Christ, look at that line-up."...

Today In The Premiership: Saying Goodbye To Sheffield United
After a day like today, it's hard not to love the relegation/promotion system employed by the international soccer community. The championship's decided, yet this final weekend was still the most exciting one of the season, and now, we'll get to bonus excitement of some stoppage time in the legal sy...

Premiership Title Gift-Wrapped For Manchester United
Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied....

Today In The Premiership...
• Man City 0-1 Man Utd. The derby win means that Chelsea has to beat Arsenal tomorrow, or Manchester United clinches the Premiership title. I realize that this is somber news for the Manchester United haters, so I offer this as well:...

Today In The Premiership...
• Watford 1-1 Man City. We start at the bottom today, and the team sinking even below the bottom. Watford sealed their departure from the Premiership today by failing to beat Manchester City, and they'll spend next season back in the Championship. They needed the full three points today, and would'v...

Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 0-1 West Ham. Shots on goal: Arsenal 30, West Ham 6. Goals: West Ham 1, Arsenal 0. West Ham goalie did the yeoman's work this afternoon, and the woodwork of the goal suffered a vicious pounding at the hands of the Arsenal strikers, as West Ham earned got the unlikely win. Arsenal's lost th...

Today In The Premiership...
Liverpool 4-1 Arsenal. It had to be a little difficult for England coach Steve McClaren to watch Peter Crouch notch a hat trick today. Crouch missed the last two England atrocities to have surgery to fix his busted snout, so the three goals he had waiting in the chamber went towards Liverpool's effo...

They Should Let This Guy Kick The Ball More Often
That's Tottenham goalie Paul Robinson, wondering why it's so damn hard for anyone else to score a goal. He buried this one from 75 yards out against Ben Foster, who I believe had a bit of a smile on his face there before turning around and fishing the ball out of his own goal....

Today in the Premiership...
• Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville s...

Today In The Premiership...
• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goal...