press Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Frank Caliendo Does "The Night Before Christmas" As 10 Different ESPNers
Frank Caliendo was on that radio show with the two guys with the same name this morning, and he busted out many of his ESPN impressions to read "The Night Before Christmas." At this point, his voices are so good, you'd think he locked up all these personalities in his basement as part of an elabor...

The Political-Messaging Huckster Behind Roger Goodell's Awful Presser
Roger Goodell was talking, but the words weren't his alone. "That speech was all Frank," says an associate of pollster Frank Luntz, lord of the dark arts of political messaging, who frequently works with Goodell and the NFL. "As soon as I heard Goodell's intro, I was laughing." ...

Fake Quote About Derek Carr Getting Mall Tacos Makes It Into AP Story
On Friday night, a story on Raiders DE Justin Tuck moved across the Associated Press wire. It contained the following quote from coach Dennis Allen about rookie QB Derek Carr, emphasis mine:...
![Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vbmcnxwu1jgw4cs8rbhl.jpg)
Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]
Tonight's Cubs-Cardinals game in St. Louis was interrupted by an Idiot On The Field who invaded Busch Stadium's turf clad only in a pair of boxers. One AP photographer spotted the hooligan just as he was apprehended with his junk hanging out the fly of his shorts; ESPN proceeded to put the photo on ...

Rex Ryan Turns The Tables, Has Reporter Hold Press Conference
Before the start of his post-practice press conference today, Rex Ryan had Rich Cimini of ESPN New York go up to the podium and subject himself to the questioning Ryan usually faces every day. With Cimini at the podium, Ryan took a seat among the reporters and started off with a typical subject: inj...

These Neat Compression Shorts Have A Helpful Dick Pouch
For guys who find compression shorts too restrictive on their junk, there's good news. You can buy these support shorts with an optional dick pouch. Leave essentially nothing to the imagination!...

Columnist Booted From Basketball Game; Commish Doesn't Like Coverage
Morris Dalla Costa, a columnist for the London Free Press, was ejected from the final game of a National Basketball League playoff series between the London Lightning and Windsor Express tonight because of what he reported about one team. The Canadian basketball league apparently contains some harsh...

Can Women's Pro Soccer Work In America? An Investigation, In Sweden
Originally published in Howler Magazine, which you can purchase here. Follow the magazine on Twitter, @whatahowler. Photo by Ryu Voelkel....

Les Miles Is Here To Drop Some Thanksgiving Knowledge On You
Les Miles seems to be making a habit out of waxing poetic about holidays. It wasn't long ago that he revealed the true meaning of Columbus Day to us, and now he's here to remind us to be appreciate all that we have this Thanksgiving. Thanks, Uncle Les. ...

High school newspaper not allowed to ban the word "Redskins": At Neshaminy (Penn.) HS, where the teams are named the Redskins, the editors of the student paper declared their intentions to avoid using the "racist" nickname. School administrators told them they weren't allowed to make that decision. ...

Genius Impressionist Reimagines Mike Francesa As A 1776 Radio Pundit
This, the work of @BizzaroZaun, is one of the best Mike Francesa impersonations you will ever see. And it's not just Francesa's voice that Zaun nails; everything about this impression—the smugness, the dismissive attitude towards callers, the fact that Francesa would have been a loyalist stooge in...

Here's Manny Ramirez Disguised As Your Grandmother At The Airport
Having a former Taiwanese baseball star like Manny Ramirez as a teammate must be pretty cool for all involved with the Triple-A Round Rock Express. That said, now that he's barnstorming it back in the states, Manny's gonna get noticed, especially whenever he wears his usual getup. Good thing his fel...

Manny Ramirez Hit His First Home Run Since Returning To America
Manny Ramirez homered last night for the Round Rock Express, the Rangers' AAA club. It's his first since coming stateside after conquering Taiwan. It was nowhere near as fun as any of his EDA Rhinos dingers....

Fuck You: Pay Me
Here’s my pal Luc Sante on Richard Stark’s Parker. Stark, aka, Donald Westlake, was recently profiled by Michael Weinreb over at Grantland....

Darkness Visible
Check out this column by Chris Jones from ESPN The Magazine on Rebecca Marino and Depression:...

Don't Mess With Texas
If you've never read it, this is a treat: Gary Cartwright's classic 1968 piece for Haper's: "Confessions of a Washed-Up Sportswriter." Here we have a first-hand account of Bud Shrake, Dan Jenkins, Blackie Sherrod and the legendary Forth Worth Press in the Fifties:...

"I'm Sure I Have Contributed To False Values": Red Smith, On Writing
Over a three-year period in the early 1970s, Chicago newspaperman Jerome Holtzman interviewed 18 sportswriters. These were men from the previous couple of generations, and they'd devoted their lives to covering sports: Fred Lib, Dan Daniel, John Drebinger, Paul Gallico, Shirley Povich, Jimmy Cannon,...

Here's Penn State Coach Bill O'Brien Doing An Impression Of His Mother
Bill O'Brien just concluded a stand-up routine coaches' caravan tour around Pennsylvania. Yesterday, he addressed whether he said "fuckers" or "fighters" on live TV after the Nittany Lions' season-ending win against Wisconsin. Turns out even his mother thought it might not have been "fighters."...

Colin Cowherd Thinks <em>The Great Gatsby</em> Is About The Great Depression
The Great Gatsby was published in 1925. The stock market crash that began the Great Depression occurred in 1929. Good work, Colin. You're the worst....
