pst Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...

Those Cubbies, They're Out Of Control
Our fear of a Cubs World Series title this year are well documented, and they're not doing much to assuage those fears right now: They've won five in a row and opened up a game-and-a-half lead over our Cardinals despite a creeping fear that this is as good as St. Louis is going to get this year....

Hipsters In Big Wheels — A Regressive Delight
Bring Your Own Big Wheel, an annual event for wacky funsters to relive the childhood they never left is typically held on San Francisco's winding Lombard Street. This year's event went down Easter Sunday on Potrero Hill, which The Backyard said is probably more treacherous. Not being from the Bay A...

Ryan Dempster Says ... No Wait ... He Says ... Really ... The Cubs ... Ha ... Sorry, We Just Can't
You'll have to forgive us, considering this happened pretty early in the day yesterday, but, well ... sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We have to point out legendary romantic Ryan Dempster's bold proclamation for the Cubs this season....

Ryan Dempster Will Make You Root For The Cubs
A reader named "Al" sends in the above picture, and the following story, after the jump....

Theo Epstein Is A Robot And Will Eventually Enslave Us All
In another chapter in our repeated quest to understand the quixotic planet of Red Sox Nation, we delve down the rabbit hole of the saga of Clay Buchholz....

Get Your Filthy Piece Of Clothing Here
At 5 p.m. ET today, Matt Murphy, that guy in the Mets jersey who caught Barry Bonds' 756th home run, is going to announce whether or not he's going to sell the ball. Forgive us, but by the looks of an eBay page he just set up, we think we have a pretty good idea of what he's going to do. (We kid, by...

Who'll Be The First Baseball General Manager To Get Publicly Smeared?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Jason Witten's Forging Momma
So, just to bring you back up to speed, in the world of outstanding sports moms, we have:...

Gary Sheffield Is Full Of Opinions
As we sift through the carnage of yet another Gary Sheffield interview — and the accompanying brilliant Dugout reaction — we take a look back at the quotable career of Gary Sheffield. 100 Percent Injury Rate has compiled some of Gary's greatest hits throughout the years. Here are a few of our favori...

Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...

We Think Ninjas Would Make Great Closers, Actually
You might think of Ryan Dempster as the red-bearded "closer" for the Chicago Cubs ... but he knows himself as something so much more. Ryan Dempster ... ninja!...

An Entirely Different Kind Of Monkey Suit
Sorry, ladies of Boston: Your hopes of bedding the youngest GM in baseball history, the man partly responsible for the Red Sox World Championship and one rockin' guitar hero are over. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein went out and got himself secretly married last month....

Greg Maddux, Wise Man In The Clubhouse
Earlier, we talked about new Dodgers pitcher Greg Maddux's pretty debut for Los Angeles, tossing a no-hitter for six innings and generally showing why it's always a pleasure to have a Greg Maddux on your team....

Baseball Owners And Their Emoticons
In yet another example of how Red Sox fans are so frighteningly devoted that they can get the people who run their team to do anything, Red Sox owner John Henry showed up on Sons Of Sam Horn yesterday to respond to various fans' questions. Say what you will about the coldness of Red Sox management...

Theo Epstein Is STOKED, Dude!
We admire Theo Epstein as much as anyone — OK, maybe a little less — but secretly we've always kind of suspected that, for all the Yale and sabremetrics and what-not, he's pretty much just a big dumb likable Boston frat guy like pretty much everybody else our age we run into while out in Boston. (...

Could Theo Be Returning?
All kinds of rumblings today about Theo Epstein potentially coming back as Red Sox GM, with the Boston Herald reporting that several Boston officials have been trying to talk him back into the job....

At Least He Wasn't Wearing That Dumb BK King Mask
Some stories, you really just have to let speak for themselves. General manager Theo Epstein evading reporters on the day he resigned by wearing a gorilla costume? That would be one of them....

The REAL Reason Theo's Gone
That guy right there isn't just Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy, strikingly handsome man; he's also Dan Shaughnessy, Most Hated Man In Boston. As if Shaughnessy hadn't caused Bostonians enough pain throughout the years with his Curse business, he might very well be the man most responsible ...

Saying Goodbye To Theo
Well, it's a bad day for Hire Me Theo; shocking just about everybody, Theo Epstein has resigned as general manager of the Red Sox, sending just about every baseball blogger into full-fledged apoplexy this morning. (Baseball Musings typically is the most sober and rational, pointing out how much be...