rant Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kevin Durant, In His Cheesiest Cheesebutt Voice: "Shit Happens"
Kevin Durant has a long, long way to go before he’s back on an NBA floor, and likely has far further to go before he’s anything like the player he was before he ruptured his Achilles tendon in Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The circumstances that led to the catastrophic injury were highly suspect, but wh...
<i>Once Upon A Time In Hollywood</i> Is A Fun Movie About Making Shit Up
In 1992, when I would have been 11 years old or so, I went with my family to the theater to see the movie Radio Flyer, starring Elijah Wood and the annoying dinosaur enthusiast kid from Jurassic Park (Joseph Mazzello) as brothers in an abusive household in... probably the late 1950s or early 1960s? ...
The Colts Are Afraid Of Andrew Luck's Leg Pulling A Kevin Durant
Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has already been through several circles of injury hell, and lost roughly a jillion years of his career to a devastating shoulder injury. Right now he’s recovering from a little old calf injury suffered during the spring, but after joining the rest of the world in watch...
Aaron Boone Explains What It Means To Be A Fucking Savage In That Fucking Box
Yankees manager Aaron Boone’s post-ejection rant was an all-timer. Upset over generous called strikes for the Rays on both Aaron Judge and Brett Gardner—two men of disparate sizes and thus strike zones—Boone jumped in front of an ejection aimed for Gardner, who was busy jackhammering the bat rack an...
Grayson Allen Ejected From Summer League Game For, You Guessed It, Being A Goon
Former Duke shithead Grayson Allen was part of the trade that sent Mike Conley from the Grizzlies to the Utah Jazz last month. You may have lost track of Allen in Utah, where he played just 38 games and spent a bunch of time in the developmental league, and you may therefore be surprised and disappo...
Soccer Idiots Agree: The USWNT Is Cool, VAR Is Not
It’s Independence Day, the day on which every American feels especially proud to be American, which also now means every taking it upon yourself, as an American, to make sure that every other American is behaving in a suitably proud way re: how American they are. In real life, this holiday mostly re...
Stephen A. Smith Says Kevin Durant Says Stephen A. Smith's Kevin Durant Reports Are Bullshit
Stephen A. Smith shared three spicy Kevin Durant reports on Wednesday’s episode of First Take. The least spicy of the three (since it’s three years old, now) had Durant, entering unrestricted free agency in the summer of 2016, telling several Thunder teammates to their faces that he would not be lea...
The Warriors Will Retire The Jersey Of A Guy Who Dumped Them For Kyrie Irving
Having lost Kevin Durant in free agency to Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, the Golden State Warriors announced Monday that Durant’s number-35 jersey will be effectively retired, for as long as Joe Lacob is in control of the team:...
Treat The Knicks Like What They Are
Kevin Durant could have chosen better than to make Brooklyn the new center of the universe. For example, he could have joined Kawhi Leonard in Toronto and taken on the entire National Hockey League at its very core by making basketball Canada’s new national pastime. I mean, it’s one thing to kick th...
The Knicks Didn't Even Get The Chance To Be Turned Down By Kevin Durant
This is NBA free agency as written by Aesop. It was reported, soon after Kevin Durant took his talents to Brooklyn, that the Knicks weren’t going to offer Kevin Durant a max contract because of injury concerns. The Knicks would certainly like you to believe that, anyway. Is it true? Maybe. But those...
The Knicks Didn't Think Kevin Durant Was Worth The Max
As if the universe required more proof of the sorry state of the organization’s existence, the New York Knicks have struck out on major free agency targets in a spectacular way. After claiming he knew of big-name free agents that wanted to play for the Knicks, and that the team would have a “very su...
Kevin Durant Is Joining The Nets And DeAndre Jordan Will Be There Too
The Brooklyn Nets might have just launched themselves to the top of the Eastern Conference thanks to two very powerful Woj bombs....
God Man, Fuck You Bret Stephens
In case you were busy actually enjoying your weekend, Jordan Peterson celebrity cruise attendant Bret Stephens went ahead and ruined everyone else’s by scribbling out a bunch of racist bumper sticker slogans in the New York Times. And this time, ol’ Bret did so without the veneer of preciousness tha...
I Went To SoHo To Find Kevin Durant And All I Found Was A Bunch Of Clothes I Can't Afford
Where in the world in Kevin Durant headed? is one of the most interesting questions in the NBA right now. Where in the world is Kevin Durant currently? is a much less compelling cousin of that question, but one we are somewhat better equipped to answer. Assuming that older brother Tony is posting hi...
Kevin Durant Will Be A Free Agent
Kevin Durant has declined the one-year player option on his contract with the Golden State Warriors, which would have paid him $31.5 million next season. He’ll be an unrestricted free agent next week. ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski first reported the news on Twitter....
Celtics Draft Outspoken Round-Earther, Move One Step Closer To Post-Kyrie Irving Future
The Boston Celtics used the 22nd pick in the first round of Thursday night’s NBA draft to select first-team All-American Grant Williams from Tennessee. Williams is a skilled, undersized forward and the son of a NASA safety engineer. I mention his parentage because being privy to mom’s insider knowle...
There's No Good Reason To Believe What The Golden State Warriors' Doctors Say
Before he took to the court last Monday night, every piece of publicly available information suggested that Kevin Durant wasn’t ready to start a professional basketball game, let alone play in the NBA Finals, after suffering what his team, the Golden State Warriors, called a calf injury. For four we...
Nigeria Got Screwed Over By Some Ticky-Tack VAR Bullshit
Nigeria were not eliminated from the World Cup on Monday afternoon, but their hopes of advancing to the knockout stages took a hit when, after a pair of VAR reviews, Wendie Renard knocked home a PK in the 79th minute to break a scoreless draw and give France a 1-0 win....
Murray State Only Discovered Ja Morant Because A Coach On A Recruiting Trip Decided To Go For A Snack
By now you’re probably aware that Ja Morant, one of the top players heading into this year’s NBA Draft, was not the most heralded prospect coming out of high school. Though he averaged 27 points, eight rebounds and eight assists through his junior and senior years, he wasn’t ranked on any recruiting...
Google's Smart Compose Is Shitty And Definitely Evil
Not satisfied with foisting predictive text and Smart Replies upon an unsuspecting public, Google rolled out a new Smart Compose feature for mobile Gmail two months ago that, like your significant other interrupting you, storms right ahead and puts words in your mouth. Like so:...