rant Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Warriors Will Be Fun And Deadly And None Of It Matters Until May
The Golden State Warriors beat the Los Angeles Clippers 120-75 last night. Most of that lead was built in the first half, when both teams were still playing starters. You were probably watching the vice-presidential debate or the AL Wild Card game instead, because you rightfully don’t give a single ...
I Don't Want To Know Who Elena Ferrante Is
I am sensitive about the Elena Ferrante story. I am sensitive about how others feel about her work, which I have found profoundly moving, and I am sensitive about her right to use a pseudonym throughout her career....
The Identity Of A Famous Person Is News
We are in the midst of one of those periodic collective uproars that demonstrate that a surprising number of people employed in the field of journalism are not actually all that in favor of reporting. ...
MacArthur Genius Grants: Not Worth It
Before you ask, the answer is no—I have never won a MacArthur Genius Grant. Nor did I win this year. And thank god for that....
Dinosaurs Suck Now
If there’s one thing that really upsets me, it is the scientific community’s continued insistence on turning dinosaurs into lame little fuckers. Today brings us news that paleontologists have created the most accurate depiction of a dinosaur in history, which means we now know that the Psittacosauru...
You Don't Have To Call It Guaranteed Rate Field
The White Sox got themselves a new stadium naming-rights deal, and it’s a laugher. Starting next season, U.S. Cellular Field, formerly the second Comiskey Park, will go by: Guaranteed Rate Field. Yes it will....
Actually, Horse Sports Are Good
The funny thing about bias is that it’s the necessary basis of any opinion. And now that we’ve all had our quadrennial opportunity to reinvest in mildly-biased opinions on oft-ignored athletics, it’s time to talk about horse sports, and opinions about horse sports....
The Olympics Are For Humans, Not Horses
What is the purpose of the Olympics? For the few thousand bureaucrats who divvy up the Games, give out contracts, and get kickass bribes, it is to enrich themselves. For everyone outside of the corruption apparatus of the Olympics, they are an exhibit of the best sportspeople, playing their sports. ...
Jerami Grant Nukes Poor Ivica Zubac
The Sixers’ Jerami Grant is making the most of his NBA Summer League assignment. Here he is tonight dunking all over freshly-drafted Lakers center Ivica Zubac, reminding us that the Croatian has a long way to go before he can assume the title of Croatia’s greatest athlete named Ivica....
Now We Find Out Whether Oklahoma City Is A Good Basketball Market
Kevin Durant is a Golden State Warrior now, which triggers dozens of fascinating basketball subplots. But off the court, it will help answer a question I’ve had for a long time: is Oklahoma City actually a viable long-term basketball market?...
Get A Load Of These Motherfuckers
Kevin Durant was officially introduced as a member of the Golden State Warriors today, which means he also got to meet with members of the coaching staff and front office....
Braying Shitheel Mike Lupica Pens Worst Possible Column About Kevin Durant
It’s the question on America’s mind: After Kevin Durant abandoned Oklahoma City to join forces with the Golden State Warriors and their garbage fans, who would blurt out the shittiest, most predictably obnoxious, pseudo-macho take possible? Would it be Stephen A. Smith, who previously threatened Dur...
Sam Presti Has An Uplifting Message For Thunder Fans
So, it sucks to be a Thunder fan right now. Kevin Durant, the face of your team for as long as your team has existed, has left for your rivals. Your title hopes are, for the immediate future, nonexistent. How do you deal with this shock? (Other than, you know, coating a Durant jersey in kerosene and...
Counterpoint: Fuck This Shit
Everything Barry wrote this morning is 100-percent correct, and it’s been six years since the ugly backlash against LeBron James’s decision to leave Cleveland proved that getting mad at an athlete for making an employment decision is one of the shittiest things a sports fan can do. I’m not a Thunder...
Kevin Durant Took A Better Job
I am baffled by the blowback against Kevin Durant—every bit as baffled by the even larger backlash against LeBron James six years ago—for doing nothing more than taking the job in which he believes he’ll be most successful and fulfilled. Everyone criticizing Durant for joining a dominant team would ...
Fans Argue Over Whether Kevin Durant Is A Traitor
Kevin Durant has joined the Golden State Warriors, and Oklahoma City Thunder fans are figuring out how to process the news. Some are thankful for what he did during his nine years in Oklahoma City, others are burning his jersey, and still others are crying and would punch him in the face....
ESPN Interrupts Wimbledon Coverage To Let Stephen A. Smith Destroy Chris Broussard
Today Serena Williams beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 7-5, 6-0 with a blistering nuclear warhead of a second set, but that destruction pales in comparison to the wasteland of Chris Broussard left by one Stephen A. Smith as they debated Kevin Durant’s signing with the Golden State Warriors....
Kevin Durant Signs With Golden State Warriors (No, For Real!)
Kevin Durant has signed with Golden State, declaring Oakland to be the city that offers “the greatest potential for my contribution and personal growth,” according to an article attributed to him on The Players’ Tribune....