rant Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bill Simmons's Goodbye Email: "I Am Done Being Involved With Grantland"
Since being fired by ESPN, Bill Simmons has sent multiple goodbye emails to members of the Grantland staff. Here is a portion of one of them:...

Report: Bill Simmons Won't Be Appearing On Any ESPN Platforms
When ESPN president John Skipper announced that he would not be renewing Bill Simmons’s contract last week—four months ahead of his current contract’s expiration date—a lot of people were left wondering how Simmons would spend his last few months as a lame-duck employee. According to Sports Illustra...

Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...

UFC Fighter Has A Message For President Obama About College Wrestling
Clay Guida won his featherweight bout at UFC Fight Night today by unanimous decision over Robbie Peralta, but it was his enthusiastic pro wrestling-style promo he cut afterward that draws our attention today as Guida shouted out to President Obama to “don’t forget wrestling.”...

Bone Broth Is Hot Ham Water
Food trends are an easy thing to hate. They immediately conjure up thoughts of "foodie" culture, $6 cupcakes, and the insufferable idiots who invented kale. But some trends are important and genuinely advance the way we eat. Twenty years ago, cheap Mexican food meant Taco Bell, ramen was $.02 wo...

Qatar Forced A Bunch Of Migrant Workers To Run A Marathon
Not only is the Qatari government killing scores of (let’s not mince words) slaves in order to build the infrastructure necessary to host the 2022 World Cup, it also forced a bunch of them to participate in a state-sponsored “megamarathon” in an attempt to set a dopey Guinness World Record. Many of ...

Aw Hell, Kevin Durant Is Done For The Season
The Thunder announced today that Kevin Durant’s foot fracture has shown signs of “regression” and that he’ll have season-ending surgery next week to help the healing process. This sucks. ...

How To Eat At A Fancy Restaurant As Though You Belong There
I get it. Your favorite restaurant is Big Chuck's Grilled Meat Wagon, parked between The Noodle Truck and The Taco Truck down at the daily lunchtime curbside bazaar of food trucks. Fine. I, too, love Big Chuck's selection of grilled meats. He's got some quality meats down there on the wagon, no one ...

Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...

The Thunder Hold A Tight Grip On Their Players' Media Availability
Russell Westbrook doesn't necessarily care for the media, and he doesn't try to hide that. He and Oklahoman reporter Berry Tramel had a tense exchange in January, with the Thunder point guard outright saying he didn't like Tramel. Grantland's Bryan Curtis looked into the media-team relationship in O...

Kevin Durant Out Indefinitely With Persistent Foot Soreness
Thunder GM Sam Presti held a press conference today to announce that his team is super boned. Well, he didn't say that specifically, but that's about all there is to be gleaned from his announcement that Kevin Durant, who was supposedly close to returning to the team after missing the last 13 games ...

Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...

The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...

How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...

Bill Simmons Questions ESPN's Support Of Grantland
At SXSW, Bill Simmons gave a legitimately interesting interview to Re/code. It features Simmons sliding from passive-aggression to bluntness, but always railing against his ESPN bosses for not giving Grantland the funding or credit he believes it deserves. ...

Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...

Now There's A Ranch-Dressing Restaurant, So Let's Walk Into The Ocean
Listen. I say the following with a pristine record of support for unhealthful dairy-based coating glops—both as a genre of foodstuffs and in most specific instances—as well as with the firm backing of all available science: Ranch dressing is bad. Bad dressing....

This Is Probably The Worst Beer In The World
From 1973 until 2011, Carlsberg Lager marketed itself as "Probably the best beer in the world." That bald-assed lie made it the shame of Copenhagen, and it led all discerning citizens of the beer-drinking world to question if any Dane could ever be trusted under any circumstance. Of course, sales ...

Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...

Which One Of You Assholes Stole Serge Ibaka's Water?????
Was it you, Kevin Durant? Was it? Don't lie!...