rant Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...
The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
Bill Simmons Questions ESPN's Support Of Grantland
At SXSW, Bill Simmons gave a legitimately interesting interview to Re/code. It features Simmons sliding from passive-aggression to bluntness, but always railing against his ESPN bosses for not giving Grantland the funding or credit he believes it deserves. ...
Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...
Now There's A Ranch-Dressing Restaurant, So Let's Walk Into The Ocean
Listen. I say the following with a pristine record of support for unhealthful dairy-based coating glops—both as a genre of foodstuffs and in most specific instances—as well as with the firm backing of all available science: Ranch dressing is bad. Bad dressing....
This Is Probably The Worst Beer In The World
From 1973 until 2011, Carlsberg Lager marketed itself as "Probably the best beer in the world." That bald-assed lie made it the shame of Copenhagen, and it led all discerning citizens of the beer-drinking world to question if any Dane could ever be trusted under any circumstance. Of course, sales ...
Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
Which One Of You Assholes Stole Serge Ibaka's Water?????
Was it you, Kevin Durant? Was it? Don't lie!...
Nene Plays Like Shit, Gets Taunted By Old Dudes
The Wizards, now in the midst of a 1-7 skid, got beat last night by a Bulls team that was without Jimmy Butler, Taj Gibson, and Derrick Rose. The Wiz are a goddamn mess right now, but nobody had a worse night than Nene....
Oh My God Oh My God I Think Russell Westbrook Could Beat Up My Dad
Last night, while we were all arguing about a black-and-blue dress, Russell Westbrook and a gaggle of tall men who were not Kevin Durant were a half-hour down the road from where the llamas were dodging the cops, playing the Phoenix Suns. If you missed it, or forgot, the Oklahoma City Thunder lost...
I Don't Get Ed Sheeran
Here's what I know about Ed Sheeran: He's British, he's ginger, he sings, and he recently did his own version of O.T. Genasis's "Coco." I listened to that, and I turned to stone. It did not need to exist, but now it does, and it has done no favors in helping me figure out Ed Sheeran. ...
Sports Phone (It's Hard Being Hooked)
I'll never forget the number. Sports Phone. Man, I used to sneak calls to it as much as I could in the early-mid-Eighties. I had to sneak them because the calls were expensive and if too many showed up on the phone bill my ass was new mown grass. But still, in those days I'd do whatever I could to g...
Westbrook And Durant Don't Seem Too Sad About Losing Reggie Jackson
The Oklahoma City Thunder didn't really have choice when it came to trading backup point guard Reggie Jackson, a talented but flawed young player who made it very clear that he'd like to be a starter elsewhere. They got a pretty good haul, grabbing an array of solid players to fill out the bench in ...
Kevin Durant Is Turning Into Drake Right Before Our Eyes
In case you haven’t noticed, Kevin Durant is making a transition. Tired of the unselfish, humble, respectful, One Of The Good Ones role he was involuntarily cast in when the sports press needed someone to hold up in opposition to the post-Decision LeBron, Durant is apparently in the midst of a publi...
McFarland Cross Country: They Built It And Hollywood Came
Given how Hollywood likes to tart up the truth (see American Sniper, Frozen, et al.) you probably have a very good sense of what's going on with Disney's soon-to-be released McFarland USA. The Kevin Costner vehicle is based, as they say, on the true story of a boys' cross country team from McFarland...
Kevin Durant To Media: "You Guys Really Don't Know Shit."
Kevin Durant's in New York for tonight's NBA All-Star game, and yesterday he had to spend some time speaking to media. One reporter asked about Scotty Brooks's job status, since Durant's Oklahoma City Thunder are 28-25 and currently a half-game out of the Western Conference playoffs. In response, th...
Only Kevin Durant Can Make Dropping 40 Look This Easy
Before we get to the highlights of the hyper-efficient 19-shot, 40-point eruption Kevin Durant put on the Nuggets last night in Denver, let's make a deal. I'll grant that, yeah, it came against a terrible team whose own coach has accused it of tanking, if the sorts of readers who'd be inclined to d...
After Making Game-Winner, DeMarcus Cousins Goes Off
The Sacramento Kings have been a prominent subject of the NBA rumor mill lately because of reports that they are considering firing head coach Ty Corbin and hiring George Karl to replace him. DeMarcus Cousins has gotten roped into these stories, with multiple reports that he is against the Karl hiri...
Kevin Durant To Chris Paul After Jumper: "You're Down 20 Now, Homie"
The Oklahoma City Thunder beat the hell out of a shorthanded Clippers team today. The game was never really close, making it the kind of contest that's perfectly suited for some inspired trash talk....