rant Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nene Plays Like Shit, Gets Taunted By Old Dudes
The Wizards, now in the midst of a 1-7 skid, got beat last night by a Bulls team that was without Jimmy Butler, Taj Gibson, and Derrick Rose. The Wiz are a goddamn mess right now, but nobody had a worse night than Nene....
Oh My God Oh My God I Think Russell Westbrook Could Beat Up My Dad
Last night, while we were all arguing about a black-and-blue dress, Russell Westbrook and a gaggle of tall men who were not Kevin Durant were a half-hour down the road from where the llamas were dodging the cops, playing the Phoenix Suns. If you missed it, or forgot, the Oklahoma City Thunder lost...
I Don't Get Ed Sheeran
Here's what I know about Ed Sheeran: He's British, he's ginger, he sings, and he recently did his own version of O.T. Genasis's "Coco." I listened to that, and I turned to stone. It did not need to exist, but now it does, and it has done no favors in helping me figure out Ed Sheeran. ...
Sports Phone (It's Hard Being Hooked)
I'll never forget the number. Sports Phone. Man, I used to sneak calls to it as much as I could in the early-mid-Eighties. I had to sneak them because the calls were expensive and if too many showed up on the phone bill my ass was new mown grass. But still, in those days I'd do whatever I could to g...
Westbrook And Durant Don't Seem Too Sad About Losing Reggie Jackson
The Oklahoma City Thunder didn't really have choice when it came to trading backup point guard Reggie Jackson, a talented but flawed young player who made it very clear that he'd like to be a starter elsewhere. They got a pretty good haul, grabbing an array of solid players to fill out the bench in ...
Kevin Durant Is Turning Into Drake Right Before Our Eyes
In case you haven’t noticed, Kevin Durant is making a transition. Tired of the unselfish, humble, respectful, One Of The Good Ones role he was involuntarily cast in when the sports press needed someone to hold up in opposition to the post-Decision LeBron, Durant is apparently in the midst of a publi...
McFarland Cross Country: They Built It And Hollywood Came
Given how Hollywood likes to tart up the truth (see American Sniper, Frozen, et al.) you probably have a very good sense of what's going on with Disney's soon-to-be released McFarland USA. The Kevin Costner vehicle is based, as they say, on the true story of a boys' cross country team from McFarland...
Kevin Durant To Media: "You Guys Really Don't Know Shit."
Kevin Durant's in New York for tonight's NBA All-Star game, and yesterday he had to spend some time speaking to media. One reporter asked about Scotty Brooks's job status, since Durant's Oklahoma City Thunder are 28-25 and currently a half-game out of the Western Conference playoffs. In response, th...
Only Kevin Durant Can Make Dropping 40 Look This Easy
Before we get to the highlights of the hyper-efficient 19-shot, 40-point eruption Kevin Durant put on the Nuggets last night in Denver, let's make a deal. I'll grant that, yeah, it came against a terrible team whose own coach has accused it of tanking, if the sorts of readers who'd be inclined to d...
After Making Game-Winner, DeMarcus Cousins Goes Off
The Sacramento Kings have been a prominent subject of the NBA rumor mill lately because of reports that they are considering firing head coach Ty Corbin and hiring George Karl to replace him. DeMarcus Cousins has gotten roped into these stories, with multiple reports that he is against the Karl hiri...
Kevin Durant To Chris Paul After Jumper: "You're Down 20 Now, Homie"
The Oklahoma City Thunder beat the hell out of a shorthanded Clippers team today. The game was never really close, making it the kind of contest that's perfectly suited for some inspired trash talk....
The NBA Pulled Some Silly Shit With Its Player Of The Month Award
Ordinarily, the NBA's Player of the Month awards aren't worth talking or writing about, even among people who talk and write about NBA stuff. Oh no—Player X didn't win Western Conference Player of the Month for November, even though his PER was a smidge higher than some other dude's! Winning one p...
Fuck Ties
In formal or fucking situations, people gauge commitment by whether or not you're wearing a useless fashion accessory that serves no other purpose but to give death an upper hand. I'm talking about neckties, the bearers of mythical "power" and evolving "rules," leaving fashion writers tripping all o...
Kevin Durant Calls A Basketball Writer A Dumbass
The Oklahoma City Thunder gave forward Nick Collison a two-year extension today, and NBA reporter Chris Palmer criticized the contract and the team. So, Kevin Durant called him a dumbass....
Hey, Get A Load Of This Evil Doctor
The Washington Post has a profile today of Dr. Jack Wolfson, an Arizona cardiologist and holistic medicine, uh, doer or whatever, who's made something of a name for himself by providing a flimsy, fraudulent rime of expertish cover to the reprehensible, morally criminal anti-vaccination crowd in the ...
Your Fake, Zany Craigslist Ad Is Stupid And Annoying
In 2015, the only people out there who have any real use for Craigslist are hookers and serial murderers. Personally speaking, I haven't used the site since 2009, when my wife and I bought an outdoor playhouse from a lady nearby. Turned out the playhouse had a colony of yellowjackets inside of it....
What Is This Batshit Anti-Nike, Anti-Kevin Durant Website?
This is just one of the many completely insane image macros that can currently be found at townofloveokc.publishpath.com. From what I can gather, this site is run by a crazy person who believes two things very strongly: Nike is an evil, Godless corporation, and Kevin Durant is the devil....
Brent Grimes's Wife To NFL: "Havent U Guys Shit On Him Enough?"
Dolphins cornerback Brent Grimes just went to the Pro Bowl for the second straight season and made its biggest highlight (if such a thing exists) with this pretty interception. What should've been a good weekend for Brent and his wife Miko was not, as Miko explained in a long Twitter rant this e...
Long-Limbed Kevin Durant Obliterates Marcin Gortat With Dunk
It is a good thing that Marcin Gortat is a goofy-ass guy with funny hair, who chills watching porn on Saturday night, and has a humvee and pig to play with, because this is the kind of dunk that could ruin a man without a balanced perspective on life. ...
The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane
You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL M...