rant Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jimbo Fisher Is A Whimpering Penis
Florida State is ranked second overall in the College Football Playoff committee's current rankings, which are determined by a complex mix of computer algorithms and schedule analysis and praying to a magic goldfish for spiritual guidance. And if you're like me, you're hoping that Florida State los...
Don't Freak Out About This Cryptic Kevin Durant Tweet, Thunder Fans
This morning, ESPN reporter Britt McHenry sent a tweet that seemed to contain her thoughts about the possibility of Kevin Durant eventually returning to his hometown and playing for the Washington Wizards:...
My Friends, It Is Time To Send Brooklyn Beneath The Waves
One of the challenges of writing about things on the internet is having the discipline to contain yourself, for the sake of being able to call an item of work finished instead of knitting it into some mammoth all-encompassing rant about, like, American culture or capitalism or the human condition or...
Scooter Kevin Durant Is Sad
Thunder rookie Mitch McGary is owning his little rolly scooter. Kevin Durant is still fighting it. Give in, KD. Accept your wheels....
Reviewer Jump-Kicks Macho Steakhouse's Dick And Balls Into The Sun
Beast is a self-consciously primal London steak-and-crab restaurant, all ludicrously oversized tables and steaks and crab legs and prices, presented gravely as though in mourning of the fallen at Helm's Deep; a display of such over-the-top machismo that even Vladimir Putin rolls his eyes at it when ...
Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?
Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ ...
Bob Ryan: Scribe
Over at Grantland, Bryan Curtis has an entertaining feature on Bob Ryan:...
Kevin Durant Out For A While With A Fractured Foot
The Thunder will start their regular season without their best player. Kevin Durant's been diagnosed with a Jones fracture in his right foot and will miss a significant amount of time....
NBA Players Are Coming To Get Their Money Back In 2017
The NBA's bonkers new TV deal means there is going to be more money flowing into the league than ever before, and everyone is already thinking about 2017, when the players or owners can opt out of the current CBA and re-negotiate how all that revenue is going to be divided up. Based on comments from...
The <em>Observer</em> Absolutely Eviscerates Cutesy New Fried Chicken Joint
Pete Wells, take note: This is how you do a scathing restaurant review....
Chiefs Fan Celebrates By Faux-Face-Fucking Nearby Patriots Fan
As the Chiefs drubbed the Patriots last night, Grant Hinkle, a poker player and Kansas City fan, rubbed it in the face of a Pats fan sitting next to him. He had a series of celebrations planned out....
TGI Fridays Is Breaking Up With Its Own Restaurants
Time was, the name "TGI Fridays" used to goddamn mean something. Kitsch-bedecked walls. Dim lighting. Aerosmith music. Reheated trashfood slathered in bourbon-flavored pancake syrup. The nagging sense that this interstate off-ramp gas-'n'-grub strip was the neon lure dangling before the yawni...
Darren Rovell Can't Tell A Two From A Five
Darren Rovell is a petty dickhead. Because people make so many jokes about how he is a money-grubbing, soulless, post-human shill for rich old men and corporations, his sheer petty dickheadedness can go underappreciated, but it's really what defines him, which is why the very best Rovell stories i...
The Wet Stuff
Over at Grantland, here's our pal Bryan Curtis on the men who built the great American waterpark:...
Jalen Rose Ran Cross Country, Terrorized Runners
Jalen Rose and David Jacoby released their latest Grantland podcast, during which Rose still had a baseball bat over his shoulder. Somewhere in the middle of the rambling discussion, Rose admitted he ran cross country all four years of high school. ...
Bill Simmons Will Host A Grantland TV Show On ESPN
Starting this October, ESPN will air what it's calling The Grantland Basketball Show in prime time—"the first Grantland-branded television series." Who wants to see Bill Simmons do his best Harvey Levin impersonation? ...
Raptors Hit With $25,000 Tampering Fine Because Of Drake
This is why the NBA is the best sports league in the world....
Kevin Durant Withdraws From Team USA
Team USA at the FIBA World Cup was already without LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, and Blake Griffin, and now it'll have to do without Kevin Durant, who just announced his withdrawal....
ESPN Hires Executive Editor To Run Jason Whitlock's "Black Grantland"
ESPN has just announced that it has hired Amy DuBois Barnett as executive editor of its new Jason Whitlock-led website geared toward African Americans....