rant Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vince Carter Gets His Ankles Destroyed By Kevin Durant
Hey Vince Carter, you are old! Your ankles would really appreciate it if you would stay away from 6-foot-10 mutants like Kevin Durant from now on. ...

Justin Durant's Jokey Chick-Fil-A Application Is Actually A Rite Of Passage For America's Child Laborers
This week Detroit Lions linebacker Justin Durant, a free agent, popped by a Chick-fil-A and filled out part of an application. (Middle initial: R.) His explanation was succinct. “Rough outchea bruh,” he tweeted....

Taste Test: Will Dorito-Sheathed Tacos Be The End Of Us All?
You saunter up to the counter at your local Taco Bell, you order your Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco (taking care not to actually say all of that, for fear of creating the accurate impression that you have paid rapt attention to the television advertisements and planned this trip in advance; instead ...

We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak
A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very rea...

Kobe Bryant Guarantees The Lakers Will Make The Playoffs
What do Dwight Howard, Steve Nash, Pau Gasol, and Metta World Peace have in common with Chris Mihm, Chucky Atkins, Lamar Odom, and Caron Butler? If the season ended today, those would be the only two supporting casts in Kobe Bryant's career with which he didn't make the postseason. One of these rost...

My Encounters With Ray Lewis's Deer-Antler Hookup, The Man Who Could Change The History Of Sports (Or Something)
"You're on the phone with someone who could change the history of sports," said Deer Antler Man....

The <em>B.S. Report</em> Report: Bye
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she recaps Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us. This is her final recap....

Ray Lewis's Deer Antler Spray Was Another Imaginary Drug Scandal
Originally published in Bloomberg View...

The Steven Soderbergh Experience: Brilliant, Modest, Fiercely Intelligent, Ultimately Disappointing
"I was watching one of those iconoclast shows on the Sundance Channel. Jamie Oliver said Paul Smith had told him something he hadn't understood until very recently: 'I'd rather be No. 2 forever than No. 1 for a while.' Just make stuff and don't agonize over it. Stop worrying about being No. 1. I s...

The <em>B.S. Report</em> Report: A Lobster That Had A Lot Of Poop Inside
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us....

The Guy Who Says He Gave Ray Lewis Deer Antler Spray Held A Crazy Press Conference Today
Mitch Ross (he's the one in the middle up there), owner of the supplement company S.W.A.T.S. and the guy who squealed to Sports Illustrated about giving Ray Lewis deer antler spray, showed up in New Orleans to have an impromptu press conference with a collection of football writers. Among other thi...

The Piggyback Bandit Has Struck Again
Sherwin Shayegan, aka the Piggyback Bandit, hasn't been seen or heard from since his summer star-turn, which culminated with this exhaustive account of his sad adventures by Grantland's Bryan Curtis. But earlier this week, Shayegan was back at it after a basketball game at a midwestern junior colleg...

Confused Sports Columnist Doesn't Realize A-Rod And Ray Lewis Were In Two Separate PED Scandals
There were two big stories in the world of performance-enhancing drugs, both released on Tuesday. One involved Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, and other baseball players being listed in the records of a shady clinic in Miami, Fla. The other involved Ray Lewis receiving a deer antler spra...

The PGA Doesn't Want Reporters Tweeting Play-By-Play Of Golf Events. Your Move, Norm Macdonald.
Here's the email that PGA communications exec Ty Votaw sent out to reporters, via Wei Under Par:...

Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...

Growing Up, Kevin Durant Wanted To Play For The Raptors
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: He liked Vince Carter, but he also liked the jerseys....

The <em>B.S. Report</em> Report: Get It On
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us....

Kevin Durant Dunks All Over Marcin Gortat Because Kevin Durant Is A Cheat Code
It's really not fair that Kevin Durant can do stuff like this. His uncanny combination of size and shooting touch would be enough to carry him to a Hall of Fame career on its own. But Durant also has to possess the kind of sublime speed, strength, and leaping ability that make face-melting plays l...

"What A Joke This Sport Is!" Jeff Van Gundy Is Not A Fan Of The Designated Hitter Rule
The Thunder's beat-down of the Lakers last night got a little boring towards the end, as beat-downs will, and unlike some spectators, Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy were contractually obligated to remain in their seats. Naturally, talk turned to the designated hitter, and—like many people, but in h...

Which NFL TV Markets Got Stuck With The Worst Games This Season?
People often split up NFL fanbases by state. As in: Michigan=Lions, Wisconsin=Packers, Illinois=Bears. There are two reasons for this. First, it's easy. We're used to looking at maps and dividing stuff up along state lines (like electoral votes). Second, most major college sports are dominated by la...