rant Page 89 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

Elaine's Was A Dump, Or The Grantland Fallacy
ESPN's Professional Southerner Wright Thompson used his space in Grantland to write a loving meditation on Elaine's, the now-defunct bad New York restaurant mainly known to people under 45 as a Billy Joel lyric. This made Thompson at least the third member of his little circle of sportswriting buddi...

LeBron James Is STILL A Cocksucker
If you missed last night's schaudenfreudegasm with LeBron and the Heat getting lane-raped by J.J. Barea for 48 minutes, oh how you missed out. There hasn't been a more gratifying moment for sports haters since the Saints beat Favre and Manning back-to-back in the NFC title game and Super Bowl. It w...

Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....

And This Is Why We Need Grantland
If you haven't yet read Charlie Pierce's Grantland essay about his time at The National, you should, and not just because it's Pierce hanging out in Bill Simmons's house, and not just because it's the best appreciation of the much-appreciated National you'll find. You should read it because it's ess...

A Comprehensive Analysis Of Grantland's Diction So Far
Grantland has now been live for almost 30 hours, which means that any impressions of the content of the site are going to be largely based on preconceived opinions and biases. The above word cloud and following word frequency analysis are asinine, which is the point....

Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...

Woman Who Used To Bang Kim Kardashian's Fiancé Shopping Book About Banging Kim Kardashian's Fiancé
Here's a somewhat amusing pitch forwarded to us by two people in the past 12 hours from an aspiring author named Lisa Monks who's writing a tell-all about some of her NBA bedroom conquests. From her [sic]'d email — sent to a couple gossip mags — it promises these not-so-explosive bombshells:...

Why Grantland Rice Sucked
Grantland Rice was everything his namesake website should aspire not to be. He was a pandering mythmaker who wrote verse and prose the way Thomas Kinkade paints carriage lanes ("The Hills of Fame still beckon where the Paths of Glory lead …"). Reading him today is not unlike looking at your maiden a...

The First Ever Grantland Footnote
"Jimmy was producing a Super Bowl show there for MTV,[1] so we drove down on that weekend in January 2003 in a party bus normally reserved for wild bachelor parties....

Pop Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Be The First Column On Grantland?
The countdown clock says we're mere minutes away from launch of the most heralded website subsection named for a long-dead hagiographer since Salon's ill-fated ÆlfricOfEynsham.com. We couldn't be more excited, because they've gathered a lot of talented people, many of whom haven't yet had the proper...

Only 2,752 Minutes Until Grantland Launches, Give Or Take
As you're no doubt aware from ESPN.com. We'll have more on this breaking countdown later....

"Albino Man. Pink Gorilla Singing <em>SportsCenter</em> Theme Song." A Story About Deadspin And ESPN's Grantland Project
As we reported weeks ago, our senior editor, Tommy Craggs, was verbally offered a position by Grantland.com to be a writer/columnist but the deal was shelved when he obliterated Page 2 "editor" Lynn Hoppes on Deadspin. The above video is roughly the point where the deal fell apart....

Here Is The Giant Bill Simmons <i>NYT Mag</i> Profile You Were All Waiting For
It's called "Can Bill Simmons Win the Big One?" and it's by The Bronx Is Burning author Jonathan Mahler. Never mind that his book was made into an ESPN miniseries and that's not disclosed in the piece....

The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It
Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal part...

At Least One Bounce Went Right For Kim Clijsters In Her Second-Round Exit
Kim Clijsters, seeded No. 2 in the French Open, lost to Arantxa Rus (real name) in the second round yesterday. She fell 3-6, 7-5, 6-1 to the 114th-ranked player in the world. But it wasn't all bad! Clijsters also had one of the most fantastical bounces we've ever seen in tennis. This is the kind o...

I’ll Wear Shorts If I Goddamn Want To
Memorial Day weekend is coming to mark the start of summer, and once again I find myself confronted with assholes all over the place telling me I can't wear shorts. First there's designer Tom Ford:...

It Was Totally Not Brendan Haywood's Fault That Kevin Durant Posterized Him, Says Brendan Haywood
Remember this dunk? Of course you do. It was awesome. Brendan Haywood, whose greatest skill has traditionally been being marginally better than Erick Dampier or Etan Thomas, remembers it too....

The Photo Of Kevin Durant's Dunk Will Replace The Taj Gibson Poster That Replaced Bruce Lee Posters Across America
With apologies to Taj Gibson, who replaced Bruce Lee just four days ago, this posterized Kevin Durant dunk over Brendan Haywood (click here to see the full view) should now be required to hang above every American mantlepiece in felt-tip form....

Here's Video Of Kevin Durant Posterizing Brendan Haywood Of The Mavericks
Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder turned the Mavericks' Brendan Haywood into a highlight-reel prop before the end of the first quarter of Game Two of the Western Conference Championship series. The Thunder went on to win the game 106-100 and even the series at one all....