rant Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's The Voice Of Oregon State Sports, Drunk And Eating A Napkin At Denny's
This video's been floating around for a couple months under the description Drunk Man Eats Napkin At West Hollywood Denny's at 3:10 am. But this week, some folks near Corvallis noticed the subject looked a little familar. And indeed, it's Mike Parker, the radio play-by-play guy for the Beavers. Wh...

The Thunder And The Grizzlies Gave Us A Special Kind Of "Classic" Last Night
The Memphis Grizzlies have been typecast, ever since we decided they were relevant enough to be typecast at all, as the unlikely success story with an unlikely GM and an advertised bad streak. They have "blue collar players" for a "blue collar town." The Oklahoma City Thunder, meanwhile, have slid...

Here Is Where Kevin Durant Got Angry Last Night And Decided To Win
You'd think it would come later, and, yes, he did fail to shoot for most of the fourth quarter, and, yes, the wild triple overtime battle could have gone either way, but that's beside the point — because it was in the third that a squinty-eyed reptilian aspect came over Kevin Durant and he brought...

Deadspin Classic: Kobe: <i>"We Are Going To Win This Series"</i>
Originally published earlier today, like seven hours ago....

Kobe: "We Are Going To Win This Series"
If the Lakers come back from 3-0, then everyone will remember this as one of the all-time great sports guarantees, up there with Mark Messier and Joe Namath. But it's not; it's just Kobe staying positive. The full quote: "I might be sick in the head or crazy or thrown off or something like that be...

Grantland.com Published Some Crazy Lady Yakking About The Knicks
Forget about all the in-house melodrama resulting from the project, please be sure to check out our girl Bakes do her thing. Yes, ESPN.com is sneak-previewing today. "The Garden of Good and Evil" is on my summer reading list, for sure. [Grantland.com]...

An Exclusive Interview With Tommy Craggs About The Bill Simmons "Grantland" Project
Approximately one month ago, Deadspin Senior Editor Tommy Craggs was approached by several fine folks involved in Bill Simmons' then unnamed editorial project, which we now know, thanks to Richard Deitsch's Twitter account, is called Grantland. ESPN issued a press release soon after that report and...

How Kevin Durant's Jump Shot Knocked Denver Out Of The Playoffs
Kevin Durant, regular-Joe wunderkind, came down the court and drilled a three-pointer from the top of the key with about 3:30 remaining in last night's Game 5 between Oklahoma City and Denver. Then, on his own, the third-year forward personally outscored Denver 14-6, including his team's final nin...

This Russell Westbrook Play Is Everything That's Great About The Thunder
One fundamental tenet of basketball is that the best way to break a press is to not let the ball hit the floor. Another fundamental tenet is that, when you have a point guard like Russell Westbrook, you get the hell out of the way....

Here's Video Of A Kevin Durant Fan Getting "Thunder" Tattooed On Her Thigh
Thanks to Royce from DailyThunder.com for sharing what he deemed "Potentially insane female Thunder fan gets massive tattoo on her thigh." When the team moves back to Seattle, Royce will have used one word too many and Priscilla, well, Priscilla seems like she'll be just fine with it anyway....

Here's Video Of A Goal That Made A Minor-League Hockey Announcer Lose Any Semblance Of Control
When the Lewiston MAINEiacs took a 2-1 lead over the Montreal Junior in their Quebec Major Junior Hockey League second-round series, announcer D.J. Abisalih got excited. Like, really, really, really excited. Which was understandable considering Étienne Brodeur's goal broke a tie with five seconds ...

Gregg Easterbrook Puts The Final, Retarded Exclamation Point On Obama's Bracketology-Gate
You only need to see the headline and the byline to know what you're in for with yesterday's breathtakingly pointless Easterbrook essay about President Obama filling out a March Madness bracket. Yes, some people are still actually debating this. BLACKIEHUSSEINBRACKETGATE! Let's dive in, shall we? ...

Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

Four Shining Moments Reenacted By Lego Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for March 17, the day when the Apostle of Ireland's deathiversary contributes to many facets of the American economy. Act as responsibly as you see fit, folks....

They Ruined The Goddamn Bracket
I was ready for the 68-team field to fuck with the process of filling out a bracket for your NCAA office pool. But I didn't quite realize the extent of it until yesterday, when they unveiled just how this retarded new format will work....

Headline Of The Day Award Goes To "Cris Collinsworth Rescued From Runaway Floating Restaurant"
Tipster Lindsay H. was kind enough to send the link to a USA Today story about Sunday Night Football analyst Cris Collingsworth being plucked from a restaurant "that tore loose from its moorings along the flood-swollen Ohio River and floated downstream" last night....

The Real Villains Of The NFL Lockout: A Gentle Reminder
The current collective bargaining agreement between the NFL and its players union ends at 11:59 p.m. this evening. And whether or not there's an official lockout, or the union decertifies, or whatever other bargaining tactic is deployed, the business of football effectively ends tonight regardless....

Please Take Your Trick Shot Video And Shove It Up Your Cockhole
Seriously. Unless there's someone who is brave enough to drop a baby off a high-dive through a basketball rim, Deadspin is longer interested in trick shot videos....

Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...