rant Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
They Ruined The Goddamn Bracket
I was ready for the 68-team field to fuck with the process of filling out a bracket for your NCAA office pool. But I didn't quite realize the extent of it until yesterday, when they unveiled just how this retarded new format will work....
Headline Of The Day Award Goes To "Cris Collinsworth Rescued From Runaway Floating Restaurant"
Tipster Lindsay H. was kind enough to send the link to a USA Today story about Sunday Night Football analyst Cris Collingsworth being plucked from a restaurant "that tore loose from its moorings along the flood-swollen Ohio River and floated downstream" last night....
The Real Villains Of The NFL Lockout: A Gentle Reminder
The current collective bargaining agreement between the NFL and its players union ends at 11:59 p.m. this evening. And whether or not there's an official lockout, or the union decertifies, or whatever other bargaining tactic is deployed, the business of football effectively ends tonight regardless....
Please Take Your Trick Shot Video And Shove It Up Your Cockhole
Seriously. Unless there's someone who is brave enough to drop a baby off a high-dive through a basketball rim, Deadspin is longer interested in trick shot videos....
Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...
The Rutgers-USF Women's Basketball Game Ended With A Scuffle And Two Middle Fingers Last Night
With under a minute to play and her team up five against USF last night, Rutgers forward Chelsey Lee rebounded a missed shot and was promptly fouled — spiritedly — by Bulls center Porche Grant. The 6'2" senior kept advancing, and eventually got thrown out of the game with a flagrant technical foul...
How The NBA Ruined The H-O-R-S-E Competition
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: The NBA's H-O-R-S-E competition was doomed to fail....
Grant Wahl's FIFA Candidacy Is Stupid, And That's Kind Of The Point
SI's Grant Wahl has announced his intentions to run for President of FIFA against Sepp Blatter when Blatter's term expires in June. It's a big joke, of course — a man without any executive experience. The sad part is that it's less of a joke than Blatter seeking a fourth term....
Katie Baker Has Been Poached By Bill Simmons For His Forthcoming Editorial Project
Our great friend and part-time contributor (even though everyone who worked here considered her full-time), has decided to leave the lush life of freelance writing while praying her day job co-workers at The Prominent Money Managing Vampire Squid would not find out its Katie Baker was the same as t...
How Ferrari spins
The ecstasy of driving a new Ferrari is almost always eradicated by the pain of dealing with Ferrari. It's out of control; to the point it will soon be pointless believing anything you read about its cars. [Jalopnik]...
The Blake Griffin Defense: Break His Neck
If there is one proven way to stop rookie All-Star Blake Griffin from scoring, it is to foul the living shit out of him. Of course, Griffin will often score anyway. But if he doesn't, and if he's not paralyzed after the foul, there is only about a 60 percent chance he'll capitalize on the ensuing ...
Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....
Kansas State Basketball Doesn't Bother Spelling Freshman's Name Rigth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
This Is Why The BCS Eats A Pile Of Shit
What a wonderful way to end the 2010 college football season. Oh, did I say "Wonderful"? Because I meant to say "underwhelming" and "fucking abysmal."...
If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....
Fran Tarkenton Pretty Much Poops All Over Brett Favre
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tarkenton blames one man for Minnesota's problems....
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...
Ron Zook Freaks Out, Has A Jim Mora Moment
After Illinois' loss to Minnesota last Saturday, Ron Zook addressed the team's prospects for bowl eligibility. It's one of the finest moments in Motor-Mouth History. H/T Erik...
This Might Shock You, But Andy Reid Was A Large Child
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
In Which People Get Pissy When A College Coach Tells An Opponent He's Going To Choke
Florida-Georgia is still a big deal to them, even if neither team matters this year. But a Georgia coach cursing and grabbing his throat at UF's kicker before the gamewinning FG seems to have struck a nerve....