rant Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your "Carl Crawford Salute Says It's Already Over" Tampa Bay/Texas Open Thread
Down 6-0 to the Rangers in the 8th, Carl Crawford swung at the first pitch and grounded out to second. The fans chanted his name anyway since it was probably his last game as a Ray at Tropicana Field....

When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....

Letter From An Aging Male Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Give Me An Erection
If the possibility of getting fired or divorced or nonexistent Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz right now and profess my undying love for her....

More Ines Sainz Outrage From Male Readership: "This Bitch Wants Her Cake And Eat It Too."
As we enter Day 4 of Ines Sainz disrupting the lives of the Jets, the NFL PR department, and every newspaper columnist in America, we continue to receive more unhinged emails from readers willing to speak with unfiltered honesty....

Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Juiceboxes)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's An Angry Email From A Man Who Supports Clinton Portis' Comments About Females In Locker Rooms
Earlier, Portis was scolded by the NFL for his wacky remarks about the Ines Sainz scenario, but we're happy to report that he has one staunch supporter who reads this site....

The Bill Simmons Top Secret Editorial Project Is Underway
What is it? Nobody knows. Well, some people do, but since it's in its early developmental stages and most people don't want to step on the Sports Fella's dick while he staffs up and conceptualizes....

Skittish Soccer Analyst Completes Self-Psych-Out
Retired German soccer player Mehmet Scholl has seen Sky Sports' Jessica Kastrop getting pegged with an errant ball one too many times it seems. In related news, "Scholl" is German for "the yips." [SI's Hot Clicks]...

NFL Network Adds Theismann To The Booth Because They’re Assholes
What the fuck, NFL? I was all excited for this upcoming NFL season, and then you go and add Joe fucking Theismann to the booth? FUCK. YOU....

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

If Sideline Princess Is Already Taken, Jenn Brown's Friend Has A Promising Career As An Alcoholic Luchadora
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Blacks Totally Outrank Gays on the Whitlock Oppression Scale (W.O.S.)
You know that whole "analogy comparing black people's fight for equal rights and gay people's"? Well, it makes Jason Whitlock "uncomfortable." So knock it off, gay people. Gay bashers, too....

Here's Why Canada Should Lose Its Baseball Privileges (with update)
Meet Brent Bowers, manager of the Edmonton Capitals of whatever the Golden Baseball League is....

How Tampa Bay Shenanigans Affected the Trade Deadline
Oh, those pesky Hickeys. Seems as if Tampa Bay pitching coach Jim Hickey was involved in some horseplay — specifically, "wrestling, in a way" — which landed pitcher Grant Balfour on the 4-to-6-week shelf with a left rib strain....

<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....

Bob Costas Feeds The Strasburg Hype Machine
Stephen Strasburg was pretty amazing in his major league debut last night, but that didn't stop baseball's self-appointed dream weaver from pumping up the superhero rhetoric even further—while simultaneously blaming others for their flights of fancy....

Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart
We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools?...