rats Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marat Safin, Go Coach Your Son Nick Kyrgios
Marat Safin, who won two majors and hit world No. 1 despite the challenges of playing tennis with lit sticks of dynamite strapped to his head, spoke out about the state of the men’s tour on Thursday. It was refreshing, and typically Safin in its overt frankness. Safin took the unspoken undertone of ...
Report: Florida State Football Players Were Suspects In Frat Turtle's Gruesome Death
Florida State kicker Ricky Aguayo and tight end Ryan Izzo appear to have been involved in some type of feud with a frat at the school, and somehow, this resulted in the death of a different frat’s pet turtle, named “Turntle.”...
Roger Federer's Graveyard
Roger Federer is a really great guy. I know this because I got to meet him a few days ago when he invited me to his house for a dinner party....
Oh God, My Car's Been Invaded By Rats
Team Jalopnik rolls into the studio to talk about cleaning your cars....
Hector Figueroa Wants To Make The Democrats Fight Back
There is one reason why building workers in New York City can make a living wage: the Service Employees International Union’s 32BJ local. The union is the size of a small city, it’s vocal, and its president wants a wholesale reimagining of Democratic party politics in the Trump era....
Celebrity Democrats Fuck Off
We have just witnessed the incredible spectacle of a vile right-wing celebrity being elected President of the United States. There is a right lesson—and a wrong one!—for Democrats to take from this. ...
You Can Quantify How Differently Democrats And Republicans See The Future
No need to just guess how different our worldview (the smart ones) is from the others (dumb, bad people). There are numbers—awful, awful numbers....
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is These Four Girls Vs. A Rat
I promise you that you will see no greater display of strategy or teamwork, and no stronger joy of victory, than these girls getting a rat out of their upstairs bathroom:...
Just Elect Keith Ellison Already
The race for Democratic National Committee chair has been going on for, it seems, a thousand years. It should mercifully conclude this month. If the Democrats are not idiots, they will give it to Keith Ellison, and move on to doing things of actual importance. ...
"A Kick In The Ass" For Labor: A Union Leader Considers The Age Of Trump
Stuart Appelbaum, the head of the most powerful retail workers union in America, swears he is optimistic. Why? ...
Paid Political Hacks Are Scum
Turns out that Robby Mook was the perfect campaign manager for Hillary Clinton after all. He’s just like his boss: can’t win an election, but can get rich giving revolting speeches afterwards....
<i>New York Times </i>Washington Editor Asks, Why Won't The Democrats Be More Racist?
In defeat, American liberals and the left are currently engaged in two arguments, which really amount to one argument: Whose fault is it that Hillary Clinton lost, and what should the Democratic Party do to defeat Donald Trump and down-ballot Republicans the next time around?...
The Missed Opportunity
In America—despite our inequality and blatant cronyism—the socialists never win. The socialists never could have won. Except for this year. ...
What Is The Point Of Tim Kaine?
A presidential running mate mostly is a warm body. He or she makes appearances at rallies and fundraisers, allowing the candidate to appear at different rallies and fundraisers. Tim Kaine can certainly do that. He is said to be a solid campaigner. He can give a speech and, presumably, shake a donor’...
Close The Clinton Foundation
As much as we hate our elected officials, we also seem strangely reluctant to ask very much of them, lest someone some day ask something extraordinary of us. We need to get over that. ...
Clinton Courts Crucial Boring Whites Demographic With Kaine VP Nom<em></em>
Sure, history says this is what was expected. The Democrats have given us Joe Biden, better known for his flubs than his actual oratory execution; Al Gore, whose “look at how hard I am acting like I am hot for my wife” kiss is impossible to forget; and Walter Mondale, whose face I cannot picture at ...
Report: Russell Wilson And Ciara Can Fuck Now
Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson and singer Ciara married today, according to E! News....
Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....
In A Slushie Cup, A Rat
A Chicago-based challenger to Pizza Rat was tragically snuffed out before it could even garner any fame on the internet. Rest in peace, Slushie Rat. If only you hadn’t scrabbled for whatever substance was at the bottom of that plastic cup....
Four-Star Recruit Decommits From Oklahoma Because Of Racist Frat Video
Offensive line prospect Jean Delance committed to Oklahoma back in November, and was still all about the Sooners when he visited campus on Saturday—the day before the release of a video showing members of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity taking part in a racist chant. Delance pulled out of his com...