rb Page 309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Illinois Pizza Place Offers Free Pizza If You Show Your Boobs
One late-night pizza place on an Illinois college campus has engineered a creative way for girls to pay for pizza slices in lieu of cash. Wait, did I say "creative"? I meant "fucking creepy." ...


That Time Jim Harbaugh Broke His Hand Punching Jim Kelly
Coach/angry person Jim Harbaugh is still talking about an incident in yesterday's Niners-Packers game where Clay Matthews took some slaps at the head of Joe Staley during a scrum. "Come with some knuckles," Harbaugh said. He would know....

Your Handling-Lots-Of-McDonald's-Food-At-Once Problems Are Solved
Hey guys, remember back when you'd go to the drive-thru at McDonald's, and you had to, like, read the menu and, like, pick some stuff to eat, and then friggin' tell the guy what you wanted, and then you drove up to the window and opened your mouth and they fired all the food at your face with a gian...

Jair Benitez Scored An Amazing 50-Yard Goal
Jair Benitez of FC Dallas scored a ridiculous goal from 50 yards out against Vancouver Whitecaps FC Saturday night. It sailed perfectly over helpless keeper David Ousted for a 3-1 FC Dallas lead. Ousted understandably took the score poorly....

Baylor Returns Fumble 91 Yards Against Other Hapless Team From Buffalo
Buffalo was this close to cutting the first-half deficit against Baylor to 22 and really making a game of things. Then Sam Holl strip-sacked Joe Licata at the 10-yard line and Bryce Hager picked it up and rumbled and slashed his way 91 yards into the endzone. ...

Disturbing Allegations Emerge In Vanderbilt Rape Case
Further details have come out concerning the June 23 rape of a 21-year-old woman that led to the dismissal of four Vanderbilt football players, including junior college transfer, Brandon Vandenburg. According to a report from BuzzFeed, the incident was worse than previously reported and at least one...

Balloon Release And Thunderstorms Make For Striking Eye Candy
The start of the Broncos home-and-season opener against the Ravens on Thursday was delayed because of thunderstorms in the area. The weather did not delay the orange balloon release Denver apparently does before big games and resulted in some band's next album cover....

Baseball Argument Escalates Into Umpire Grabbing Manager By The Throat
More zaniness from Taiwan's Chinese Professional Baseball League, the only baseball league in the world that really matters. And this one involves Manny Ramirez's old team, the EDA Rhinos, in a recent game against the Brother Elephants. Man, even the baseball team names in Taiwan are perfect....

Even After Seven TDs, Peyton Manning Can't Escape John Elway's Shadow
According to the Columbus Dispatch, it was ol' No. 7 who put a historic hurting on the Baltimore Ravens last night. There's never really a good excuse for mistaking John Elway for Peyton Manning, but this definitely shouldn't happen the morning after a record-setting performance like the one Manning...

Peyton Manning's Night Deserves Its Own Page In The Record Book
Maybe that vigilante Denver sportscaster had it right—Ravens banners didn't belong anywhere near the same city as Peyton Manning. After a seven-touchdown performance, the 37-year-old made an early statement that Denver would like to host the season opener again next year....

The Shame Game: Taylor Branch Takes On The NCAA
In case you missed it, check out Taylor Branch’s 2011 story about the same of college sports over at The Atlantic:...

Bow Down To Peyton: Your Broncos-Ravens Recap
Denver 49, Baltimore 27: Peyton Manning was still furious over last season's playoff loss to the Ravens, apparently, because he absolutely demolished Baltimore tonight. Manning threw for 462 yards and seven touchdowns, becoming the sixth person in NFL history to throw that many TD passes in a game....

Danny Trevathan Opens NFL Season With One Of Its Dumbest Plays Ever
It took less than a full game for us to experience a strong nominee for Lowlight Of The Year....

Payback Is A Bitch
Friend of mine in London sent me the following. Taken from Maiden Speech by Eleanor Brown, published by Bloodaxe in 1996:...

Pro-Pot Billboard Erected Outside Mile High Stadium
The Broncos host the Ravens for the NFL season opener Thursday night and all eyes will be on Denver. Looking to capitalize on the publicity, a pro-marijuana group has put up a billboard one block west of the stadium, urging the NFL to follow Colorado's lead and stop being such puritanical tight-asse...

Butler's Bulldog Mascot Dies, Then Tweets From Heaven
We've been aware of Butler mascot Blue II's health problems for some time now, and last night the nine-year-old bulldog finally succumbed to congestive heart failure. As if the thought of an adorable dog dying wasn't enough to bum you out, Blue II "penned" a first person blog post shortly before hi...

Why Football Is So Important In Alabama
I was in South Carolina last weekend, college football country. Clemson vs. Georgia was all anyone cared about unless you counted the local high school game and they cared even more about that. I went to a general store and found these vintage Bear Bryant bottles of Coke on the shelf. They sold frie...

A One-Punch Knockout On $3 Pitcher Night
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Knock Out Video." Tonight's commentator: Tyler, "a concerned sports fan from Chicago" who recorded said KO Video. (Coming next week: The previously mentioned Lady Wildi...