rb Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

Poor Chan Gailey Can't Even Get Respect From Closed Captioning
Chan Gailey made light of his under-the-radar status in the NFL's coaching mechanical horsey ride, but it appears the TV robot felt obligated to add a little more pizazz to the Bills' humdrum choice....

You Might Have A Death Wish If You Want A Career in Big Time College Coaching
"Nearly every Division I head coach puts in more than 100-hour weeks during the season and heavy recruiting periods. If anything, it's amazing more coaches haven't suffered heart attacks or more serious ailments as a result of stress..."[SI]...

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

Only Starbury Can Go To China
The 32-year-old Stephon Marbury just a signed a contract with Shanxi Club of the Chinese Basketball Association. Communism has officially lost. [Reuters/NY Post/FanHouse]...

Alaskan Hockey Space Bear Is Back To Tear You A Brand New One
Who knows what terrible sin humanity committed against the Alaska Nanook, but that bear is irate. Okay, maybe we shouldn't have frozen him in the Arctic, but is that any excuse to destroy Planet Earth with a kick-ass '80s soundtrack?...

Bad Beats: And A Child Shall Lead You
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Last Night's Winner: Junior Gotti
In sportslife, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like (alleged!!) mobster John Gotti III, who is so good at not getting convicted that federal prosecutors have given up trying. He's on fire!...

Lovelorn Baseball Player Turns To Dear Abby
Unlucky in sport and in love, one lifelong minor leaguer went to the famous advice columnist for help. While she tries her best, I'm sure we can do better....

You Can Barely Contain The Deadspin Mailbag
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering pants, nail clippings, drinking alone, and bank robbing....

Philadelphia: Home Of Rotten Fans, Underachieving Teams And Dick Towels
I'm not sure what the context of the poor woman doing the "news" is for sure, but it appears the usual post-mortem at Chickie's and Pete's where they get crowd reactions from drunk people about the Eagles game....

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Your Late Games Open Thread
Brandon Marshall was reportedly benched for missing a therapy session. (It was physical therapy for his ostensibly injured hamstring, but it's funnier if you leave that part out.) Let's watch the Chiefs and Raiders try to play spoiler. [ESPN]...

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

Baylor Commits Girl-On-Girl Crime
Brittney Griner dunks twice (scoff, but when's the last time Shaq did that?) as the Lady Bears put a Texas-sized hurting on Texas State, 99-18. At least the Washington Generals keep it close until the ladder comes out. [Waco Tribune]...

Sugar Bowl Open Thread: Florida. Cincinnati. Vamanos
It's the Florida Oenophiliac Coaches against the Cincinnati Fighting Irish. What say you, Todd McShay? And...let's wrap it up....

Rose Bowl Open Thread: Oregon. The Ohio State University. Hit It.
It's the Oregon Tusows getting scrappy with The Ohio State University Mike Cooper Mustaches. What say you, Todd McShay?...

Gator Bowl: West Virginia. Florida State. Go.
The West Virginia Pitsnoggles take on the Florida State Stergers. What say you, Todd McShay?...

The Urban Meyer 911 Call Is Unbearably Sad
"Urban, Urban, talk to me," says his wife, Shelley, while on the phone with the dispatcher. "He almost sounds like he's kind of trying to cry." [ESPN]...

For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...